How about some old news from Down Under (I didn't do it).
Beer for Jesus
ADELAIDE, Australia - An Australian brewing company is offering six cases of beer to anyone who returns a statue of the baby Jesus stolen from a nativity scene earlier this week, brewery officials said Thursday.
The South Australian Brewing Company offered the reward after thieves swiped the statue from the company's traditional nativity display earlier this week.
Managing Director Mark Powell said security footage showed a man scaling a fence and lifting the baby Jesus from his manger.
"We are very concerned about the well-being of baby Jesus and we are calling for his swift and safe return," Powell said.
A reward of six cases of beer would be given to anyone who returns the statue, he said.