What I've seen is that what usually happens is a person assumes what they find to be normal to be the actual normal. But what is normal?

Bottom line, in DDO there isn't a "normal" the types of players are way too diverse for there to be a normal.

Best practice is to simply use the memo to give quick feedback to players joining on what to expect.

1. Zerg - Only what needs to be done to complete (usually means stuff is only killed if it has to be)
2. Move Fast - stuff dies, optionals only if they are in the way to complete and on to the next quest
3. All Optionals - doing everything in the quest - splitting is possible
4. Flower-sniffing - Doing everything and not in a hurry so stick together - Usually for teaching the quest/first timers