Sentient Gems, Ranked Best to Worst:

[Talon_Moonshadow]

The history of this gem gets lost over time, but the recording was actually done as a sort of in-development "scratch track", just something to use while the system was being developed. It ended up getting released just due to the general interest in having more sentient gems out there, and I'm honored it was deemed worth putting out. The difference in audio quality is due to it not being a professional studio setup, but rather the regular stream mic I use and a bit of EQ.

Timid is one of my favorites.

[leesun]

1.) Blackrazor "ahhhhhhhhhhh"
2.) Kobold - why won't you love me
3.) Resolute - best girl
4.) Wave
5.) Hopeful
6.) Inquisitive
7.) Covetous
8.) Lizardfolk
9.) Whelm
10.) Furious
11.) toss up between dragon and timid

[Claver]

11) I like Cordo, but I didn’t like this gem at all. It is rather uncomfortable to listen too. Much like if I were to karaoke “I will Always Love You” to a raid group while wearing a retainer. This being “timid” did not help Cord out at all. Now a sarcastic sentient voice talking about nerfing your character would have been brilliant. Really any dev voicing this would be great.

Interesting to see what people like and dislike

Timid is one of my favorites...certainly within the top 5

"see, that could happen to you" still cracks me up when a fellow party member bites the dust

I love the sentient gems, much more so than powerful loot that inevitably gets replaced by something better at a higher level or via newer content. The sentient gem stays with me for my entire epic journey.

I wish they would make more; even something silly like a bullywug gem with nothing but samples of the various Developers croaking.

[voxson5]

I wish they would make more; even something silly like a bullywug gem with nothing but samples of the various Developers croaking.

Wish granted, but it's Will Wheaton's exposition from ToEE

[Kelledren]

Interesting to see what people like and dislike

Timid is one of my favorites...certainly within the top 5

"see, that could happen to you" still cracks me up when a fellow party member bites the dust

I love the sentient gems, much more so than powerful loot that inevitably gets replaced by something better at a higher level or via newer content. The sentient gem stays with me for my entire epic journey.

I wish they would make more; even something silly like a bullywug gem with nothing but samples of the various Developers croaking.

I think the prototype recording mixed with timid speaking lines is what gets most on this jewel. Cordovan should get a re-do on sent jewel called “Overlord” which the lines aggressively address mock player forum posts.
“Do that again and I will ban you.”
“Hard to complain when you’re dead”
“I would help you out, but what you are asking for is ridiculous”
And so on. In fact we as a community could probably come up with a few of these.

[Aelonwy]

Wish granted, but it's Will Wheaton's exposition from ToEE

Egad NO!

I wouldn't mind Wil Wheaton doing an actual character, but his life story with D&D is NOT what I was expecting to hear in ToEE. He could do a slightly pitiful, acid-fearing, caster personality... apparently he has much experience playing that already. Okay the acid bit comes from Acquisitions Inc., but still that could be a hidden trigger. On Activation of Acid Trap ONLY : "Not this again! Save me!"

Cordovan should get a re-do on sent jewel called “Overlord” which the lines aggressively address mock player forum posts.
“Do that again and I will ban you.”
“Hard to complain when you’re dead”
“I would help you out, but what you are asking for is ridiculous”
And so on. In fact we as a community could probably come up with a few of these.

I could go for a campy Dungeon Master Sentient Jewel, that would make a neat Anniversary Gift, or Anniversary Party item. I still want a D20 cosmetic Orb to show up there.

But above all I really want to be able to consistently hear and comprehend the lines NOT be forced to read them to understand what is being said.

[Cordovan]

I think the prototype recording mixed with timid speaking lines is what gets most on this jewel. Cordovan should get a re-do on sent jewel called “Overlord” which the lines aggressively address mock player forum posts.
“Do that again and I will ban you.”
“Hard to complain when you’re dead”
“I would help you out, but what you are asking for is ridiculous”
And so on. In fact we as a community could probably come up with a few of these.

I dunno about breaking the fourth wall like that. The gems do need to fit within the world. I've said this before, but not for a long time: There actually is a story mostly in my head that I never mentioned to the team at the time related to the Sentient Jewel of the Timid, in large part because it's goofy and so not official lore. In my head the Timid was a baker who was making donuts, dropped the gem into the hand-cranked mixing machine, reached in to get it (because it was a gem!), then died. His essence became trapped in the gem. So, he's a scaredy-cat baker.

[MichelOue]

.... scaredy-cat baker.

the weekly coupon guild renown?

[Stradivarius]

I dunno about breaking the fourth wall like that. The gems do need to fit within the world. I've said this before, but not for a long time: There actually is a story mostly in my head that I never mentioned to the team at the time related to the Sentient Jewel of the Timid, in large part because it's goofy and so not official lore. In my head the Timid was a baker who was making donuts, dropped the gem into the hand-cranked mixing machine, reached in to get it (because it was a gem!), then died. His essence became trapped in the gem. So, he's a scaredy-cat baker.

Actually really like that timid baker idea. All the comments could be baker based.

"half a cup of flour, a dash of duskroot, and a full cup of kobolds!"

"Not too much ..blood!"

Perhaps the gem blurts out in pieces an actual recipe that can be made in RL, bake it and take a screenshot of the creation for an easter egg prize!

[Talon_Moonshadow]

I dunno about breaking the fourth wall like that. The gems do need to fit within the world. I've said this before, but not for a long time: There actually is a story mostly in my head that I never mentioned to the team at the time related to the Sentient Jewel of the Timid, in large part because it's goofy and so not official lore. In my head the Timid was a baker who was making donuts, dropped the gem into the hand-cranked mixing machine, reached in to get it (because it was a gem!), then died. His essence became trapped in the gem. So, he's a scaredy-cat baker.

Awesome!

[Equatis]

You are really missing out, of course on Argonnessen I am known for playing rogues and find Covetous to be the best sentient in the game because of this.
I often tell friends I run with in game that Covetous is a bigger rogue then I am based on his comments during game play. For his voice, and it's probably just me,
but I get a Inigo Montoya kind of vibe from The Princess Bride.
The following link will let you listen to each line Covetous has, you can also search for other sentient gems and check out how they all sound.
https://vaultofkundarak.com/item/Sen...f_the_Covetous.

Here are a few of my favorite lines from Covetous:

Our mission is simple - get in, get out, don't be seen. Also, be sure you check every chest in every last room. No stone unturned. Got it?

I'm sure your fallen comrade won't mind if we relieve them of the gold in their pockets.

Let me help you up! Oh wait - I don't have hands.

You should take the jewels on this shrine. It's not as if anyone will notice.

Why this single sentient gem is hidden behind a raid end chest and seems to have such low drop rates is beyond me but IMHO, well worth getting hold of.

[Xgya]

I could go for a campy Dungeon Master Sentient Jewel, that would make a neat Anniversary Gift, or Anniversary Party item. I still want a D20 cosmetic Orb to show up there.

Ooh, here's my idea: The DM's magic 8-ball. It works as a teleporter (like the practical D12), but every time you use it, he says some funny quote.
I don't know WHERE it would lead, but it'd still be funny.

"You want to go there? Let me draw the map first..."
"Going back straight to the action I see! Roll for initiative!"
"Are you sure the 8-ball was still in your inventory?"
"Again? But you've been there so many times already!"

[Kelledren]

I dunno about breaking the fourth wall like that. The gems do need to fit within the world. I've said this before, but not for a long time: There actually is a story mostly in my head that I never mentioned to the team at the time related to the Sentient Jewel of the Timid, in large part because it's goofy and so not official lore. In my head the Timid was a baker who was making donuts, dropped the gem into the hand-cranked mixing machine, reached in to get it (because it was a gem!), then died. His essence became trapped in the gem. So, he's a scaredy-cat baker.

I get where you are coming from about the 4th wall, but it would be fun. I keep thinking a gem that says “impressive” then mutters under its breath “we will have to nerf that!”

Thanks for the baker back story. Now I have to get one and listen to the lines over again. Or you guys can make a new baker sentient gem and pair it with the gingerbread golem gem! Yeah like this better. Anniversary is coming up….

[DoctorOfLiterature]

People would pay for sentient gems with our favorite steamer voices. I would love a KozyBean or Voodu gem.

[Inanout]

It would be great if they paid Voodu to do a Gem.
I believe it would bring SSG good luck if they did.

[Kelledren]

It would be great if they paid Voodu to do a Gem.
I believe it would bring SSG good luck if they did.

Jewel of the Uncle! /signed

[LightBear]

I dunno about breaking the fourth wall like that. The gems do need to fit within the world. I've said this before, but not for a long time: There actually is a story mostly in my head that I never mentioned to the team at the time related to the Sentient Jewel of the Timid, in large part because it's goofy and so not official lore. In my head the Timid was a baker who was making donuts, dropped the gem into the hand-cranked mixing machine, reached in to get it (because it was a gem!), then died. His essence became trapped in the gem. So, he's a scaredy-cat baker.

And yet another example of Curiosity getting framed where Ignorance is the culprit.

Well, all examples given don't break the fourth wall persee, though everybody would know what you are talking about for real.
Per example, banning someone is a real thing that an overlord would do.. If you're a favorite and killing you off isn't something that even an overlord would get away with.

So a line like: "If it was up to me, I'd put you out of your misery right here and right now." would be fitting.

Other than that...

[Arkat]

<meme>

Yikes.

Maybe re-think posting that specific meme, LightBear?

[Dark_Lord_Mary]

To me its not so much the voice acting or auto tune which is too, but the writing; the writing for most of the gems is woefully poor.

Example: the dragon is the biggest missed opportunity. This gem should have been epic, amazing to hear - but it is terrible - I like the voiceactor, however, the writing is so banal and tritley childish it does not remind one of a dragon at all; it sounds like the actor recorded what was written for them on a cocktail napkin with only 20 minutes to spend in the recording booth.

As I am a writer in real life, I offer myself humbly to write the text for any future gems.

[Aelonwy]

To me its not so much the voice acting or auto tune which is too, but the writing; the writing for most of the gems is woefully poor.

Example: the dragon is the biggest missed opportunity. This gem should have been epic, amazing to hear - but it is terrible - I like the voiceactor, however, the writing is so banal and tritley childish it does not remind one of a dragon at all; it sounds like the actor recorded what was written for them on a cocktail napkin with only 20 minutes to spend in the recording booth.

Hmm you have a point but... at the same time the personalities need to appeal to the widest range of players and classes as possible to be worth the VA effort and cost. I'm not sure they are succeeding with that anyway but if the lines are too specific or too niche or the voice is too unappealing its going to turn a way players and not be worthwhile.

I really cannot say how banal the dragon is, I barely can tell what its saying, have made the effort to read the lines once and now ignore it on the one character that uses it... definitely NOT worth the time, effort and cost they spent for it for me.

Had the lines been comprehensible, and for you interesting it would have definitely been more valued.

Again, I would like a soft, alto Jewel of the Soothing appropriate for a healer but if they make it too specifically cleric or too specifically a particular deity like Celimas "For the Flame!" than they would be narrowing the potential pool of players that would want and enjoy such a personality. If they do it with more generic lines it can appeal to clerics, fvs, bard, paladin, possibly druid, possibly ranger, possibly even someone roleplaying a Jorasco marked halfling or... well I would say a party-support Aasimar but the recent HC nerfs nixed that more than necessary.

Its a very fine line to tight-walk and I think its well-established that SSG isn't particularly good with delicacy. Now galumphing, they're ACES.