
Originally Posted by
Annex
Every attack that causes physical damage should have a 1% chance to destroy each potion in a player character's inventory. Each attack that causes 100 points of physical damage should have a 10% chance to destroy each potion in an player character's inventory. Each attack that causes 1,000 points of physical damage should have a 99% chance to destroy each potion in an player character's inventory. If a potion gets destroyed, a shattered glass sound effect plays. The more potions that shatter, the louder the sound effect.
Every attack that causes acid, electricity, fire, or poison damage should have a 1% chance to destroy each scroll in a player character's inventory. Each attack that causes 100 points of acid, electricity, fire, or poison damage should have a 10% chance to destroy each scroll in an player character's inventory. Each attack that causes 1,000 points of acid, electricity, fire, or poison damage should have a 99% chance to destroy each scroll in an player character's inventory. If a scroll gets destroyed, a burning up sound effect plays. The more scrolls destroyed, the louder the sound effect.
Entering water should immediately destroy all scrolls in a player character's inventory with no saving throw. This is accompanied by a sound effect, Doh!".
Entering lava should immediately destroy all potions and scrolls in a player character's inventory with no saving throw. This is accompanied by a sizzling bacon sound effect.
The above will cause a severe spike in potion and scroll purchases as player characters replenish their consumables after each quest. Merchants, running low on supply, will respond with massive price hikes. All potion and scroll prices will be multiplied by 100.
"The developers at Standing Stone Games understand your difficulties storing so many potions and scrolls. In the interest of helping players and making a better game, we are instituting new, much more realistic and exciting rules for handling potions and scrolls. We are sure these new rules will greatly ease your problems storing consumables and that everyone will enjoy them! Thank you for supporting DDO and Standing Stone Games. You are the best. Hugs and Kisses."
After a few seconds of this, less time invested players will come to the forums in large numbers and complain because their player characters keep dying. High time and rich players will make fun of them and tell them to learn to play.
In response, you can launch a new series of Enduring Potions and Enduring Scrolls, only available in the DDO Game Shop for 10 DDO Points each. Subscribers will receive a monthly allotment of 100 Enduring Potions and Scrolls.
"The people at Standing Stone Games recognize the difficulties inherent in our new, much more realistic and exciting system for handling potions and scrolls. To improve player experience, we will now offer Enduring Potions and Enduring Scrolls in the DDO Store for 10 DDO Points each. These special potions and scrolls will allow you to mitigate the new, more realistic and exciting rules if you so choose. In order to provide the best possible service, these new Enduring Potions and Scrolls are Bound to Character on Acquire. Thank you for you continuing to support DDO and Standing Stone Games. We love you all."
If you are a developer reading this, you should totally drop everything you are doing and make this happen right now because it will be hilarious.
Sincerely,
Vexa, Pointy Maid of Win