Regarding the vocal minority, yes there is such a phenomenon.
I don't know how long you've been playing the game Alrik, but I just cannot tell you how many players I've played with over the 13+ years I've been playing the game but it's been a LOT. Lag has been a sensitive topic almost since the beginning. When there were awful lag spikes in Heroic Shroud, I was there and so were 15 other people. We ALL experienced it. When the lag in Defiler of the Just consistently wiped out parties, we eventually stopped running it because we ALL experienced it.
Not all of those people that I've run with posted or post on the DDO Forums but I did/do. I've seen so many things in this game and have experienced them with many other people. I feel pretty confident I can say that I am definitely vocal and am in the minority of players that actually posts here but I am also confident that I can say have experienced exactly what most other non-vocal players have experienced. So, regarding game-play experience, I am not in the minority.
Regarding the first-life newbie experience, you're quite right that my experience as a newbie was quite different but that's only because the game was way different in February 2006. But, as most people I know personally in real life generally think of me as a pretty fair person open to considering many points of view, I'd like to suggest that if the issue called for it, I could put forth a newbie viewpoint as well but that might take some doing on my part. Fortunately, the issue which I am addressing mostly, isn't related to a newbie experience. It's an experienced player issue.