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  1. #1
    Community Member redoubt's Avatar
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    Default If you plan not taking someone in your group send a tell or hit the decline button

    I lead 95% of the groups I'm in. I know thing happen, but please try.

    Personally, I send a tell if there is some reason I can't take someone in the group (which is rare.)

    If you are uncomfortable sending a tell that you won't take a person, please at least hit the decline button.

    Thank you for your consideration.

  2. 01-31-2019, 04:59 PM


  3. #2
    The Hatchery Enoach's Avatar
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    I generally do this with an exception...

    If you join my group and are clearly not in the level range posted in the LFM, I assume you miss-clicked, of which I don't need any further interaction as you likely joined the party you intended to join.

    That is all .

  4. #3
    Community Member redoubt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Enoach View Post
    I generally do this with an exception...

    If you join my group and are clearly not in the level range posted in the LFM, I assume you miss-clicked, of which I don't need any further interaction as you likely joined the party you intended to join.

    That is all .
    When that happens I hit the decline button without a tell. If I need to decline someone for any other reason, I send a tell before I hit the decline button.

  5. #4
    Community Member Ralmeth's Avatar
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    I agree that it's not cool to keep people hanging. If that happens to me, I'll usually send a tell to ask about joining, but if you don't get a response what should you do? It would be nice to be able to remove yourself from a join request so you're not obligating yourself when you found something else you want to do.
    The best part of the 10th Anniversary of DDO...the description on the Oatmeal Raisin Kookie,
    "From a distance you thought this was a chocolate chip kookie. Now you're sad."

  6. #5
    Community Member redoubt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralmeth View Post
    I agree that it's not cool to keep people hanging. If that happens to me, I'll usually send a tell to ask about joining, but if you don't get a response what should you do? It would be nice to be able to remove yourself from a join request so you're not obligating yourself when you found something else you want to do.
    I would like that feature.

  7. #6
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    Every now and then I miss the fact someone did click the LFM
    Server: Thelanis
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  8. #7
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    Also, please don't go afk when you have an lfm up. It's very irritating standing around wondering whether or not you're just being ignored or whether they're too embarrassed to tell you that you are not wanted in the group.

  9. #8
    Community Member Dulcimerist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malleable View Post
    Also, please don't go afk when you have an lfm up. It's very irritating standing around wondering whether or not you're just being ignored or whether they're too embarrassed to tell you that you are not wanted in the group.
    I've run into AFK leaders too frequently. If you need a smoke break while the party is trying to fill, please pass star to a trusted party member who could repost to help fill the group while you're AFK. Or type in the LFM description that you're AFK, and that people will be accepted in the order the requests were received.

    When I lead groups, the only time I decline is when I receive a join request when it's too late to join. I send a tell letting them know the situation, and let them know if we have another quest/raid planned afterwards and that they're welcome to join that.
    "Swords will cut you wide open!" - Trip Fisk

  10. #9
    Community Member redoubt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Malleable View Post
    Also, please don't go afk when you have an lfm up. It's very irritating standing around wondering whether or not you're just being ignored or whether they're too embarrassed to tell you that you are not wanted in the group.
    Good point.

    Good solution:

    Quote Originally Posted by Dulcimerist View Post
    I've run into AFK leaders too frequently. If you need a smoke break while the party is trying to fill, please pass star to a trusted party member who could repost to help fill the group while you're AFK. Or type in the LFM description that you're AFK, and that people will be accepted in the order the requests were received.

    When I lead groups, the only time I decline is when I receive a join request when it's too late to join. I send a tell letting them know the situation, and let them know if we have another quest/raid planned afterwards and that they're welcome to join that.

  11. #10
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    I see much common sense in this thread ... but no mention of the LFM group request bug for some reason. There exists a bug where, seemingly at random, a request simply doesn't go through to the leader. It will not show up in the notifications or the group management interface and there is no indication that it didn't go through. I have made hundreds and hundreds of pug postings and on the days I am stringing a ton of quests together I inevitably get a tell asking if I am accepting members or not. I can check logs etc and there is no sign of them having applied to the group, even though they later said they did. Some have gotten irate that I was "ignoring" them. Often enough though most are understanding. I do get tunnel vision at times and miss some requests but that is my fault and THOSE inevitably show up in the group panel.

    TLDR: If you think you are being ignored, send a polite tell to the leader and hit the join button again, they may not have gotten the request.

  12. #11
    Community Member Dabima's Avatar
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    Completely agree. I always respond to my applications, such as if 2 people apply at the same time, and someone gets auto declined as I fill the group, I'll reach out and say someone barely beat em to it, or let someone know why I'm declining them. I hate the suspense when it's reversed on me
    Orien: ][Vladtepes][Gelatinous][Lelitha]

  13. #12
    Community Member Dulcimerist's Avatar
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    On a somewhat-related note, I've learned not to change zones right after requesting to join a group. Apparently, when a group leader accepts a request while the player is changing zones - such as going through the airship portal - it prevents the player from joining the group, and a new request needs to be made.
    "Swords will cut you wide open!" - Trip Fisk

  14. #13
    Community Member skorpeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dulcimerist View Post
    On a somewhat-related note, I've learned not to change zones right after requesting to join a group. Apparently, when a group leader accepts a request while the player is changing zones - such as going through the airship portal - it prevents the player from joining the group, and a new request needs to be made.
    I have suspected this myself, but I often clcik on a gp, and teleport in anticipation of being accepted. I guess I should be more patient in case. No one wants to arrive at a wedding uninvited. Although some people might find a way to crash I guess?
    G-land
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  15. #14
    Community Member lillentle's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dulcimerist View Post
    On a somewhat-related note, I've learned not to change zones right after requesting to join a group. Apparently, when a group leader accepts a request while the player is changing zones - such as going through the airship portal - it prevents the player from joining the group, and a new request needs to be made.
    That'll show on the party leaders screen as well, something like "can't create or modify partys blah blah while teleporting blah blah" I normally just resend the invite.
    Lillentle, the smaller Lentle

  16. #15
    Community Member SerPounce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ralmeth View Post
    would be nice to be able to remove yourself from a join request so you're not obligating yourself when you found something else you want to do.
    Agreed. I don't even get too bothered when I get left hanging (though I 100% agree with OP that you should try not to). I figure they're focused and missed it, or maybe AFK, or whatever stuff happens. What I don't want is to go off doing my own thing and half way through a dungeon *ding* you're in a group now, no leaving!
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  17. #16
    Community Member Dulcimerist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SerPounce View Post
    Agreed. I don't even get too bothered when I get left hanging (though I 100% agree with OP that you should try not to). I figure they're focused and missed it, or maybe AFK, or whatever stuff happens. What I don't want is to go off doing my own thing and half way through a dungeon *ding* you're in a group now, no leaving!
    Good point! Once a player requests to join a group, their name hangs out in the join request box of the group until it completely fils up, disbands, or the leader finally does something with it. I wish there was a way for me to rescind my request if I get no answer and decide to do something else. If I log out and then back in would my join request disappear, or would I need to a different character and back?
    "Swords will cut you wide open!" - Trip Fisk

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