The Madstone Thing -- A Festivult Gift for my Guildies (Adventure Poem)

[punkymonkey]

Not sure if this is the correct place to post this thing, but here goes =P. Last year I wanted to honor to my guildmates - my anonymous friends for a decade! - and racked my brains for how to celebrate the gift of their company and personalities. Niwri, our Grand Poohbah guild leader, had been holding a static "Elite Meet" weekly for about 2 years... and we'd just finished Madstone together. My guildmates convinced me to share this story. In the tradition of "Twas the Night Before Christmas" I tried to capture our outing:

The Madstone Thing

'Twas the night before Gianthold, when all through the ship
The Elysians prepared for a holiday trip.
The potions were stacked, the scrolls were all sought,
Equipment repaired, the hires were bought.

The party was resting, all snug in their beds,
While visions of melee danced in their heads.
And Niwri in his chappeau, and Kay in her plate,
Were settling in for a seasonal spate.

In the morning at dawn, there arose such a clatter
The party awoke, donned armor and gathered.
The Grand Poobah burst on the scene with great glee
“Now listen up, all, this adventure's 'bout ME!”

With the star in his cap, he invited them in.
He called forth to line up, drink up and begin.
More rapid than foxes his party they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Shotzee! Now, Bronhim! Now, Chordos Von Ethos!
On, Stickmech! On, Turloc! On, Kreedo and Wyohs!
To the Marketplace, quick! To Cydonie, speak!
On to Thaden for transport to Gianthold Keep!”

So onward to Xendrik the party far-shifted.
Chordos got lost in the ether and drifted.
The party ran 'round, got acquainted with locals,
Waiting for Chordos, they took up the vocals.

“That Cydoni-eh girl, she's a fair little dragon,”
Said Shotzee to Niwri while Chordos was laggin'.
“Which is too bad, cause her curves are all there,
But so are her claws if you took up the dare.”

Niwri gave chuckle, and egged Shotzee to try
To kiss the blue dragon with ice in her eye.
But Chordos rejoined and the party was maxed,
Our heroes had smiles, looked loose and relaxed.

“Time to head out!” shouted Niwri with zest.
“Madstone Crater we head. We'll be put to the test!”
He checked on his arrows, cinched tight his backpack,
Mentally rehearsed his diversionary attack.

With hearts full of vigor and heads full of grog,
The team entered Ruins, rank with sulfur and smog.
“Blaze said the crater's to the south by south-east”
Said Niwri while calling forth Wyoh, the priest.

The group ventured south through giants and trolls,
Through lava and orcs and casters and bulls.
Arriving at Madstone, no worse for the wear,
“Elite!” shouted Niwri with sulfur-singed hair.

He dove through the door without once looking back,
And so did his team, because they're a pack.
The buffing and blessing and singing began,
While Niwri laid out his best battle plan.

Chordos played lute with skill and precision,
Ser'nading Insp'ration to ev'ry Elysian.
Wyoh, the priest, called on the gods to Bless,
While Stickmech chose the best staff for success.

Kreedo was waving slim arms in the air,
Pitching bat dung and eye lashes with flair.
Shotzee admired his two-hander out loud,
To the ooh's and the ahh's of the gathering crowd.

Turloc, enamored of two-handed blades,
Inspected Shott's weapon, took note of the shades
Of folded metals, well wrought, steel of high grade.
“Very nice,” he remarked, “My sword is self-made.”

Sturdy Bronhim pulled out his shield and his sword,
“Maddened giants will attack, but must be ignored.
Skellie enchanters hold Giant Seers in thrall,
Attack skeletons to free Seers, first of all!”

The guild master puffed up his chest and declared,
“Chaos orbs abound and no one will be spared!
Casters, Kreedo and Chordos, take care, beware,
Orbs like that will render your magic impaired!”

Fully buffed and Inspired, Blessed and robust,
The party moved forward, just like they discussed.
Infected bulls became the first of their worry
As wave after wave of them came in a hurry.

The first Seer they found attacked with great speed.
The acrobat swung before taking heed
And clobbered the Seer, until Brohim swore
That rogues were useless, and gave her what for.

The moment was sudden and people were hurt
Niwri issued command, and the priest was alert.
Divine heals covered all and the Skellie took note
And zapped Wyoh silent with magic to the throat.

The barbarian raged, the paladin swore,
And the fighter tripped Skellie prone to the floor.
With renewed attention, the rogue with a staff
Was bashing and smashing the bones with a laugh.

The ranger was ranging, it's what he does best,
While the wizard threw fire like a man possessed.
Sonic shouts of the bard were highly effective,
As bone bits chipped off, which was the objective.

The 'Chanter became dust - more dead than before.
And the Seer was free to thank and implore
The party to search for the rest of his kind
To free them from prisons within their own mind.

The Giant Seer began to chant and wiggle,
Which made the staff acrobat start to giggle.
The Seer was weaving strong magic to shatter
The Madstone crystal, the crux of the matter.

The party continued and took up a new plan,
One teammate the patsy, a utility man
Who takes a beating for as long as he can
While holding attention of the 'chanted shaman.

This job went to Bronhim, with sword and shield,
Who labored and toiled to keep Seers afield,
While the rest of the party was taking down Skellie
With admirable teamwork they sent them to Hell-y.

Three Seers set free, three mad crystals shattered,
At the Fire Giant Chieftan the party all gathered.
The Madstone Warlock was atop the hill,
the baddest of all, and waiting to kill.

“The Madstone is weakened, but still plenty strong!”
Warned Niwri, who longed for his pink silky thong.
His boxers were chafing 'neath his tight leathers;
The distraction it caused was from pain in his nethers.

The plan was to cover the ramps to the spire,
To keep casters back and use Walls of Fire.
Because of the Madstone, Death Ward was required
The buffs went around and the group was Inspired.

The adventurers took up positions strategic,
Manned posts, took aim, drank pots analgesic.
The Warlock of Madstone did his job well,
But wave after wave of Infected mobs fell.

The Warlock of Madstone eventually dropped,
And magic within the Crater was stopped.
After many close scrapes, our heroes stood tall,
As the only things left at the top of the wall.

Blaze was amazed that a party so small,
Could handle a Giant Warlock at all.
To Niwri he gave bracers - Steady Handed;
Chordos took a ring, Ancient, and Banded.

A club went to Sticky, nothing she needed.
Kreedo took a necklace of Iron, and Beaded.
A belt went to Shotzee, bursting with Brawn,
But it made him slow-witted, he didn't keep it on.

Bronhim was awarded the Axe of Adaxus,
Which he planned to sell, to pay airship taxes.
Protection for Turloc, in the shape of a ring,
And that was The End of The Madstone Thing.

“Well, I had great fun!” said Niwri quite clearly.
The party knew that he loved them all, dearly.
In spite of the chafing, he'd do it again,
To be with his Elysians, weekly, daily, or yearly!

He sprang to his ship, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,
And they heard him exclaim, 'fore he logged outta sight,
“Happy Festivult to all, and to all a good night!”

[Hafeal]

Bravo.

This is a now needed item in every inventory:

pink silky thong

[cdbd3rd]

/Kudos, Punky. That was a fun read!

Bravo.

This is a now needed item in every inventory:

pink silky thong

There's room for those right next to the pair of Dwarven Tiger-Striped Speedos we have hanging on the wall in the Tavern.

[punkymonkey]

There's room for those right next to the pair of Dwarven Tiger-Striped Speedos we have hanging on the wall in the Tavern.

Highbrow decor along with a painting of kobolds playing poker.
btw, can be crafted into an excellent slingshot w/ bonus on surprise roll... even a bugbear has to pause for a second look.

Thank you, both, for feedback =).