Design a dungeon centered around loot and comedic effect!

Loot

Kobold Party (Runearm that fires kobolds and gives you a toggle to take on the form of a Kobold with five barrels filled with purple crystals, makes monsters want to attack you)

Kobold No Like (Heavy Repeater somehow made from a Kobold using necromancy (Sentient, complains every now and then))

Kobold Remember (Bow made from Kobold using Necromancy, Sentient and complains from time to time.... especially if you are killing Kobolds)

Giant Squirrel Cosmetic Pet (Comes in grey and brown, about the size of the mimic pet)

Morbid Adamantine (Bastard Sword with vampirism, A proc similar to Trap The Soul (Call It Collector's Delight) that sometimes instantly slays an enemy and in their place leaves a small collectable bag that can contain any kind of collectable with a decent chance of rare collectables, piercing damage effect, force damage effect, and constitution damage). This Bastard sword was made from adamantine ore and Carbon derived from Kobold Bones. (Lower level versions of sword will not have all the effects)

Kobold Memorial Dagger- Uses Wisdom, Charisma, and Intelligence for attack and damage, Has Vampirism and constitution damage effect, has a Dimension door clicky, While equipped you can cast Spells not of your class if you are a spellcaster, but if spell offered is already in your spellbook the cost to cast it will be reduced by 15%. Level-4: Entangle, Level-8: Evard's Black tentacles, Level-12: Raise Dead, Level-16: Spike Growth, Level-20 and up: Wail Of The Banshee. The further level of versions allow for the previous level version spells to be casted as well.

Vampirism Weapon Enchant 1D2 to 3D2 max depending on level of weapon, can be used on ANY weapon for a permanent enchant that is neither ranged nor already has a weapon enchant on it.