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05-21-2015, 04:53 PM #1Community Manager
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Issue 143 of the DDO Chronicle is now available!
Have fun, and don't forget to gather for buffs!
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For Support: https://help.standingstonegames.com
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05-21-2015, 04:54 PM #2Founder & Hero
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What would a DDO adventurer do if they somehow saw a television with a cartoon on it?
Ponder: "Hmmm. Wonder who's new-fangled mechno-pet THAT is?..."
(edit: Where being 'first' isn't so great. Come on Jer, you're overdue to roll an 01.
)
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05-21-2015, 05:08 PM #3Community Member
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Fighter/Barbarian: ATTACK! it must die!
Pal/FvS/Cleric: What foul demonic trick is this? ATTACK! it must die!
Wiz/Sorc: What trickery of magic is this? an artifact of unimaginable evil entertainment power? YUM!!
Rog: would just steal it
Arty: would just take it apart.
Monk: would ignore it.
Ranger/Druid: would worship the wood in the old console television shell.
Bard: Would curl up and power watch a week's worth - taking notes and 'borrowing' inspiration
War: would still be in diapers, and helplessly be brainwashed and lobotomized by the programming...Help us help the new players. Adopt a new player today!
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— OzyMoronic Barbarian (INT Barb+Rog SK) — AirForged the last Firebender (BF Sorc 18 2 Pal) —
Spectacled Librarian with a BIG GIANT HUGE SWORD (INT Ftr+Wiz+Rog) — Koboldowar VetII Arty and Dog
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05-21-2015, 05:43 PM #4Community Member
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Our adventurer will silently watch as one cartoon character repeatedly bops another over the head with a hammer (inflicting no lasting damage at all), and then say to himself, "been there."
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05-21-2015, 05:53 PM #5
Start flipping channels looking for Dungeons & Dragons, the animated TV series.
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05-21-2015, 06:02 PM #62015 DDO Players Council
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They'd look around to see if they were in an episode of the Aquabats! Super Show!?
Astreya the Unturning
It's always a shame when the hammer of poor design choices smashes the fun of player tactical adaptation.
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05-21-2015, 06:20 PM #7Hero
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Look, Phiarlan created a way to show spectacles in a small box!What would a DDO adventurer do if they somehow saw a television with a cartoon on it?Amossa d'Cannith, Sarlona, casually trying Completionist (12/14) [<o>]
Almost-never-played-alts: Arquera - Chapolin - Fabber - Herweg - Mecanico - Tenma
I want DDO to be a better game. Those are my personal suggestions on: Ammunition, Archmage, Combat Stances, Deities, Dispel Magic, Epic Destiny Map, Fast Healing, Favor, Favored Enemy, Half-elf Enhancements, Monk Kensai, Monk Stances, Past Life, Potency, Potions, Ranger Spells, Summons, Tiered Loot.
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05-21-2015, 06:44 PM #8Hero
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Search through many tomes to find a spell to banish it back to its' evil plane.
Completionist Lighthardtt Tuisian of Sarlona
leader emeritus, Bridge Burners
"Just another day in pair-o'-dice"
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05-21-2015, 06:45 PM #9
What would a DDO adventurer do if they somehow saw a television with a cartoon on it?
Barbarian: SMASH!!
Artificer: Complain that he doesn't have an epic destiny
Fighter: Post on the forums that the TV doesn't include a boost in melee power
Bard: Fascinated for 24 seconds plus 6 seconds per diagonal inch of the TV screen
Wizard: Proclaim how unimpressed she is about this simple parlor trick
Rogue: Study the television for 1d4 rounds to determine its most vulnerable area to strike. Then steal it after realizing it poses no threat.
Druid: Destroy the unnatural abomination
Sorcerer: Find a way to harness the electrical energy
Favored Soul: Complain that Favored Souls only have 2 enhancement trees
Paladin: Turn off the TV then turn on the TV while watching her character sheet to see if it has any effect on her saves, AC or PRR
Cleric: Attempt to exorcise the demon that is inhabiting the glass crate
Monk: Splashes 2 hours of TV into her day
Ranger: Run backwards and pew pew it!
Warlock: Complain that the TV was the only thing in the update
Sarlona: Gingerspyce ~ Voodu ~ Sportyspyce ~ Guitarr ~ Vooduspyce
Live Streaming on Twitch ~ Raid Nights with the High Lords ~ Teaching Raid Videos ~ Warlock for Beginners ~ Beginner's Guide to Cannith Crafting
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05-21-2015, 07:32 PM #10The Hatchery
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go on a quest to return the device to the plane from which it was created
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05-21-2015, 05:17 PM #11Community Member
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What would a DDO adventurer do if they somehow saw a television with a cartoon on it?
If in a dungeon, this illusion box is obviously a distraction for a trap! Ready to fight!
Originally Posted by Cordovan
Thank you for reading the DDO Chronicle! Don't forget to reply below to the Chronicle Comment for your chance to win 500 Turbine Points! We'll select a random winner after Noon Eastern on Tuesday, May 26th. Good luck!
In town, this box is a strangely confined method of displaying illusions; they would probably examine it a moment and move on to something more interesting.
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05-21-2015, 05:33 PM #12Community Member
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Use it to entertain the kobold companion.
I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was, now what's it is weird and scary to me.
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05-21-2015, 10:20 PM #13The Hatchery
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"So, House Cannith constructed a new kind of soul gem..."
Originally Posted by MadFloyd
If our only source for balancing Normal difficulty was these boards we'd be out of business pretty quick.
Originally Posted by FlimsyFirewood
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05-21-2015, 10:34 PM #142014 DDO Players Council
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try to keep focus
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05-21-2015, 11:00 PM #15The Hatchery
2015 DDO Players Council
2017-2021 PC Member
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Wonder why this Captain Planet dude is ripping off the Conjoined Abishai Devastator.
(And yes, I mean Captain Planet and not Voltron. Voltron's cooler, but other than that one line, CAD is much more reminiscent of CP.)"Ignorance killed the cat, sir; curiosity was framed."Tripoint, C.J. Cherryh
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05-21-2015, 11:22 PM #16Community Member
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Become distracted and fail on their next will save.
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05-21-2015, 11:31 PM #17Self-Appointed Coin Lord of the Seas
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Take the TV as your rightful loot.
Just a random, forgettable NPC doing things an NPC does
Things that NPCs do include, but are not limited to:
Having a gold goblet over my head to indicate availability of a quest
Having a catchphrase that never really catches on
Having various rewards that are generally not worth the trouble
Wandering around randomly
Giving out obvious information if it wasn't obvious enough
Repeating the same lines over and over again
Repeating the same lines over and over again
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05-22-2015, 06:46 AM #18Community Member
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A lot of hilarious answers here. I probably won't get a chuckle, but here goes:
Road Runner: His speed boost is OP! Nerf it!
Superman: How did he get his jump so high? And look at his speed boost! Nerf it!
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05-22-2015, 07:49 AM #19Community Member
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He would think about the wonders of Cannith technology!
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05-22-2015, 10:07 AM #20Community Member
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Dm: You see a magical box in front of you. In it three kids are battling against two bad guys and talking cat using weird monsters. What are you going to do?
Sorcerer: Is it dangerous? Or a trap? Rogue what does your senses say?
Rogue:*searches the magical box for traps* No it is not trapped.
Barbarian: ME WANTS TO SMASH BAD BOX!
Paladin: But those kids could get hurt. You must not make decisions in haste.
BARBARIAN: BUT ME WANTS!
Cleric:Calm down. WE are not going to break it.
Barbarian: *kicks rock in anger*
DM: So what are you going to do?
Cleric: As a leader of this group, I demand we stay and watch what happens.
........
DM: The kids beat the bad guys and a rat kind of monster manages to hit the baddies with it's thunder, hurling the baddies away.
Barbarian: ME WANTS TO SEE MORE.
DM: The magical box goes silent.
Barbarian: ME WANTS MORE! *unsheathes his great axe*
Cleric: Don't do it!
Barbarian: ME SMASHES THE BOX! *smashes the box*
DM: The magical box breaks and a loud alarm starts. The Archlich has been warned about your presence and it sends his minions to kill you. You have no strength to fight the enemies. Only a good roll of a dice will save you. With a roll over 15 your Sorcerer manages to teleport you out. Otherwise you end up dead.
*Roll d20* *rolls 14* *a lot of swearing*Holybird of House Perkele. Sisu is with us. But is sisu with you?
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