I am now squelched. And you?

[BigErkyKid]

Alright, let's contribute, just for the sake of...

I don't think the OP was being so innocent. He knew it was someone who got mad enough to drop over a little detail like the trap. Then he made not one but a few remarks mocking him/her over it. The reason why he targeted that player is quite probably because he/she knew it would get to him.

In the internet, those who care are the most likely to get trolled because trolls WANT their victims to rage. What's the point of messing with someone who doesn't give a darn?

That being said, I would have squelched the OP too. Even if I wasn't at the bad end of the "jokes", but just from seeing what he/she was doing to that other fellow.

Luckily, I haven't come across many trolls in DDO. I guess that in part because in game I am super chill, also because a lot of the players in DDO are adults. Not that adults cannot troll! But I do think that we cannot quite believe that what happens in the internet stays in the internet, hence there is some minimal level of decency.

So Cathimon, welcome to my squelch list!

[Deadlock]

Since grease is a party buff, why did he rage quit over a party buff?

Since FOM no longer prevents Earthgrab, I've said repeatedly that it's only right that Grease becomes the new defence against this type of attack.

If Grease caused a failed Earthgrab to auto-trigger a jump and made the player oink repeatedly that would be even better.

[Zachski]

Protip:

No one owes you anything. No one owes you an audience. No one owes you the time of day. No one owes you the chance to apologize. People provide these things out of trust. You betray that trust, you lose these privileges. Expecting anything otherwise or insulting them for that is entitlement.

And the OP's jokes were not lighthearted or jokes. A light-hearted joke does not involve mocking a stranger you just wronged. It would be like tripping someone into a puddle and making mud jokes, inviting everyone to laugh at them for it.

If you were really interested in making a light-hearted joke, you would have directed the deprecating humor at yourself. Not only is it diplomatic, but it invites the target of your practical joke to laugh at you instead. It balances the scales, it makes light of a situation where a practical joke has gone wrong (as it did this time), and it builds bridges.

Remember, everyone should be laughing with the target of your joke, not at the target of your joke. That is the difference between good-natured banter and mean-spirited mocking. And the OP's humor was mean-spirited mocking.

[cdbd3rd]

You have a point - wonder if anyone else will notice?

Only if they recognize the MP-40 and the Panzerfaust.

Not that big a deal.

[Algreg]

A lot of D&D players are very likely to have been the butt of jokes in School and even at work - Expecting them to accept this sort of thing from complete strangers in a game is a step too far and if you have that much of a problem with being ignored you may want to change your own attitude rather than expecting them to change theirs!

That is a very, very silly cliché.

[Cathimon]

I'm as much a troll as that guy is a sociopath for going crazy over 2-3 silly jokes that anybody with a life worth a darn would take with a grain of salt man... I've been at the receiving end of much, much worse and I didn't end up at the psyche ward for major depression. I think some of you are really exagerating...

But anyway, as someone said, I don't owe anybody anything and THEY don't owe me anything either. We can squelch anybody for any reason or no reason at all even. I'm not complaining here, I even specified that the guy who squelched me is quite irrelevant on my server.

But it made me curious about your stories, but also about my response to a squelch. Should I squelch the dude who squelched me or just meh... I thought about it and didn't squelch him, I form a lot of PUGs and if he wants to join he can, and if he wants to quit after some dude run into a traps, he can, I don't care if he goes psycho-angry too. I mean so long as he doesn't start re-entering and suiciding in the quest 10 times, or start trolling for REAL, and I mean spamming sh*it in the chat and not just make a few jokes....

[Angelic-council]

I'm as much a troll as that guy is a sociopath for going crazy over 2-3 silly jokes that anybody with a life worth a darn would take with a grain of salt man... I've been at the receiving end of much, much worse and I didn't end up at the psyche ward for major depression. I think some of you are really exagerating...

But anyway, as someone said, I don't owe anybody anything and THEY don't owe me anything either. We can squelch anybody for any reason or no reason at all even. I'm not complaining here, I even specified that the guy who squelched me is quite irrelevant on my server.

But it made me curious about your stories, but also about my response to a squelch. Should I squelch the dude who squelched me or just meh... I thought about it and didn't squelch him, I form a lot of PUGs and if he wants to join he can, and if he wants to quit after some dude run into a traps, he can, I don't care if he goes psycho-angry too. I mean so long as he doesn't start re-entering and suiciding in the quest 10 times, or start trolling for REAL, and I mean spamming sh*it in the chat and not just make a few jokes....

Well, I'll be straight. People play this game however they want, and many players don't really care. Whatever happened that day, wether it's you or him (her), you have to be always 1 step ahead. Squelching someone for that reason would be beneath you. If you were blocked then so be it. Just leave it at that.

Edit: With all do respect, I do think too, that you shouldn't have said anything like "are you recovered now?". I know it's in your nature, but.. there is a limit. You don't know that person in real life, you don't know his or her life conditions, mentality as a gamer - which all matters in the end. So, you shouldn't have said anything that will escalate the situation. Lastly.. Yes, if someone disabling a trap, people shouldn't just zerg ahead. It doesn't make you look cool, but a fool who trying to show off.

[Coyopa]

...I even specified that the guy who squelched me is quite irrelevant on my server. ...

In other words, it's ok to make jokes about him and be mean to him because he doesn't matter.

[moomooprincess]

During Risia Ice Games, I turn on general chat and that is where it all starts.

I squelch lots of people. I am sure I am on a lot of squelch lists also. I don't care if I am on someone's squelch list.

Eventually, my list fills up and I start deleting.

Rinse and repeat.

[BigErkyKid]

I'm as much a troll as that guy is a sociopath for going crazy over 2-3 silly jokes that anybody with a life worth a darn would take with a grain of salt man... I've been at the receiving end of much, much worse and I didn't end up at the psyche ward for major depression. I think some of you are really exagerating...

Right there is telling me that you dish out but cannot take any.

These are the facts: you made a guy rage quit a quest and then laughed at him on a different occasion because of it.

He might have overreacted in the first place, but he did not cause any grief. You laughing at him for it, being a complete stranger, is unlikely to be appreciated and got you squelched. Reasonable answer, no drama.

Now for whatever reason you seek consolation in the forums where you probably expected people to side with you. Sorry, no.

Not a big deal overall.

[Azarddoze]

In other words, it's ok to make jokes about him and be mean to him because he doesn't matter.

See this nit pick is spot on and shows a side of the OP which leads to believe that his nature (as he pointed out himself) might lead him to repeatively "harras" others. It may (or may not) be a bit too much for an average person regardless of his mood.

Imo, this is what makes the comment less acceptable. Not that I would care like the squelcher did (I like the inner gamer-competition when playing) but remove the hostility and the same message could be interpreted as a real inconsequential joke. We can't judge the intentions but we can be neutral and laid back until said hostility has been confirmed.

It's one thing to go against "toxicity" but calling out people on their mistakes and having some fun with failures shouldn't be taken as seriously as some want to believe it should be in every scenario.

It's a game we're playing!

[Fluffib]

I did not advocate making fun of someone repeatedly. I did say making a light hearted joke about a series of events that transpire in game to offer some levity to a situation is perfectly acceptable. That is not harassment. Overuse and incorrect use of the term leads to more confusing and harder to deal with issues with consumer relations.

I am perfectly responsible. I do, however, think that folks need to lighten up just a bit. Have you ever stopped to consider the correlation between the time we became so very sensitive to what we said to the increase of mental health issues and over sensitivity?

I.E. Laughter is the best medicine. The more over sensitive folks become and unable to laugh at anything the more wrong we as a people become. If this was a joke that was at all in a grey area you would have my support. But, seriously folks need to lighten up some, life isn't that serious and was never meant to be taken as such.

I think it's very irresponsible of you to ask people to "lighten up a bit". As if it was that easy. You have no idea the mental state, the history, the culture, the painful memories of the person you are talking to, let alone the added layer of confusion inherent in the internet. And the alternative? To ask people not to make mean spirited joke - it's easy. It's mature. Why go out of your way to be mean to someone when you can just try to get along? Laughter may be good but never at somebody's expense - that is the textbook definition of selfish and immature.

As far as what is harassment? If nobody is offended by your joke, it is not harassment. If somebody is offended by your joke, it is harassment.

[bartharok]

I think it's very irresponsible of you to ask people to "lighten up a bit". As if it was that easy. You have no idea the mental state, the history, the culture, the painful memories of the person you are talking to, let alone the added layer of confusion inherent in the internet. And the alternative? To ask people not to make mean spirited joke - it's easy. It's mature. Why go out of your way to be mean to someone when you can just try to get along? Laughter may be good but never at somebody's expense - that is the textbook definition of selfish and immature.

As far as what is harassment? If nobody is offended by your joke, it is not harassment. If somebody is offended by your joke, it is harassment.

This definition would make every joke harassment, since somebody will always get offended by a joke.

[JOTMON]

I have just been squelched and to my knowledge, it's only the second time in about 6 years of active DDO. Here's what happened, because I like to talk about myself.

A few days ago, we were doing a standard Spies in the House XP run and some dude, let's call him player X, was about to disarm a trap and an other player(not me) ran right into it, triggering the grease effect and making it quite probably impossible for player X to disarm it then. After much complain from player X and his repeated failures at disarming said trap, we simply dodged it and cannith boots through it to continue the quest like, no big deal. Player X left the group quite angry and we completed several minuts later without anymore drama.

About 2 days later, I see him join a group I'm in, and I thought I'd joke around a bit. I poke him with ''Are you still ****ed about that trap or you've recovered now?'' or ''Are you going to abandon your group again this time?'' That sort of stuff. Which I admit, was completly uneccessary, but it's in my nature, I mean no offense. So... He squelches me.

In my opinion, not worth a permanent squelch. But I'd apologise to him, and try to make amends because I don't like being squelched, but how can I apologise now? He's not that particularly influential, anyway so...

I make this post to vent or by sheer curiosity. How many times you've been squelched and do you have stories?

Pretty tame for the groups I run with, but may be perceived as more malicious than comedic..
I see some heavy barbs for "joking" at someone you don't even know in your pokes.
If he/she was someone more sensitive and maybe even cared what other people thought... and had reported you instead of just squelching you, I would not have been surprised to see you get a forced vacation.

[skaught78]

I have just been squelched and to my knowledge, it's only the second time in about 6 years of active DDO. Here's what happened, because I like to talk about myself.

A few days ago, we were doing a standard Spies in the House XP run and some dude, let's call him player X, was about to disarm a trap and an other player(not me) ran right into it, triggering the grease effect and making it quite probably impossible for player X to disarm it then. After much complain from player X and his repeated failures at disarming said trap, we simply dodged it and cannith boots through it to continue the quest like, no big deal. Player X left the group quite angry and we completed several minuts later without anymore drama.

About 2 days later, I see him join a group I'm in, and I thought I'd joke around a bit. I poke him with ''Are you still ****ed about that trap or you've recovered now?'' or ''Are you going to abandon your group again this time?'' That sort of stuff. Which I admit, was completly uneccessary, but it's in my nature, I mean no offense. So... He squelches me.

In my opinion, not worth a permanent squelch. But I'd apologise to him, and try to make amends because I don't like being squelched, but how can I apologise now? He's not that particularly influential, anyway so...

I make this post to vent or by sheer curiosity. How many times you've been squelched and do you have stories?

I would have squelched you too! If you don't want to get squelched, don't antagonize people, simple as that. Especially through a tell.

Of course, I don't rage quit either, or throw hissy fits like this guy did. I just play for fun. Which is why I don't put up with people who are rude.

[krimsonrane]

I think I am the king of squelching. My list of squelchies is loooong. A 6 year collection of problem children who never got a second chance. I've even used the ignore function here in the forums.

I don't put up with much BS and I don't think I have to put up with it. I treat people in game the same way I would in person. Flexing cyber immunity behind a computer screen by acting or speaking to people you don't know in ways you wouldn't if you met them on the street is not cute. If I didn't know you and you started that type of taunting banter in a pug party on a bad day I might have done the same. Maybe.
Trying to get to know someone before acting like you do is always a good idea. People and kobolds can be... sensitive.

Anyway. Don't worry about apologies. The squelch translates into "save it and move on. We can play this game simultaneously without interacting personally". Besides. Your offense wasn't that bad. I've been subject to much much worse here.

[Tuffgar]

Something you're forgetting: It's not just your time and experience that you're involved in. I'm generous. After that first quest, I would have given you a second chance, but then you would have blown it by being . . . the way you were. See, I don't know you, so you don't get to jack with my time and then try to joke around with me. My friends get to do that. People I run with on a regular basis get to do that. Strangers ? Nope. So I would have put you on the ignore list too. I would have also put you on the DNG list.

Save the joking around for people you know.

I have to agree with this. It sounds to me like the OP was pretty inconsiderate. You screwed up, then tried to play it off by being a sarcastic jerk. That works with your friends, but not with random people, especially on the internet.

Regardless of that, why does it matter? If someone wants to put you on their ignore list, it's no sweat off your back. It literally has no impact on you at all. Just play with other people. I don't see why it would even merit a post on the forums.

[Connman]

Chicken and egg problem...

The egg came first. The creature that laid the egg was one gene sequence from being a "chicken" what came out was a "chicken." There you go, one of life's mysteries solved, by science.

[bartharok]

The egg came first. The creature that laid the egg was one gene sequence from being a "chicken" what came out was a "chicken." There you go, one of life's mysteries solved, by science.

Eggs existed a long time before chickens, so one must wonder why people even discuss this.

[Dragavon]

About 2 days later, I see him join a group I'm in, and I thought I'd joke around a bit. I poke him with ''Are you still ****ed about that trap or you've recovered now?'' or ''Are you going to abandon your group again this time?'' That sort of stuff. Which I admit, was completly uneccessary, but it's in my nature, I mean no offense. So... He squelches me.

If I was that guy I would have thought: What a ****ing idiot, and squelched you too.......