Joke Weapon #9: Ham Pan

[ForgettableNPC]

One of my friends helped me think of the item itself, can't believe I haven't thought of using something like this yet.

Full list of Joke Weapons so far found here: ForgettableNPC's List of Joke Weapons

Name: Ham Pan

Weapon Type: Light Mace
Damage: (0-5) 1d6 - 1 Bludgeon

Critical Roll: (0-10) 20 / x2

Attack Mod: STR+
Damage Mod: STR+

Durability: 50
Material: Steel
Hardness: 10

Enchantments:

-1: This weapon is less well-made than normal, giving a -1 Penalty to Attack and Damage Rolls.

Mmm...Bacon: This weapon emits a strong scent of greasy bacon, and is bound to attract wolves, ogres, and occasionally an adventurer or five. All threat generated with your attacks is increased by 100%. -30 to Hide and Move Silently checks.

What's Cookin'?: This weapon stores the power of countless greasy pork and pork-based products that's ever been cooked on it deep within. Occasionally, the delicious power comes to surface, conjuring up a single, full Tasty Ham for you to eat.

Smells Delicious!: Sometimes, the Bacon-related magics of this wondrous artifact can go haywire and out of control whenever its powers comes to surface. But it's not necessarily a bad thing. Occasionally, instead of conjuring up a single Tasty Ham, it will bless the player and his allies with a rain of Tasty Ham in its stead.

Oh God, It's Burning!: Very rarely, when its greasy powers comes to surface, instead of conjuring up a Tasty Ham or a Tasty Ham storm, the grease will catch on fire and spread everywhere, burning all creatures, allies and enemies, within a certain radius and consuming them all in a storm of flames, incinerating them.

Bonk!: On an attack roll of a natural 1, you accidentally hit yourself comically and become stunned for 6 seconds. You idiot.


Description: This magical cookware was found at the site of an ancient ruins of a civilization long past. Apparently, the creator of this wondrous artifact was a wizard, who also happened to be a chef, and his recipes were known across the land for being magical, in more than one way. Surprisingly, its magics are still active, and volatile. You can still use it as a weapon, if you wish, if you don't mind the smell of grease lingering around you for quite some time...Just hope you don't run into a pack of hungry wolves.

Great for cooking outdoors, though.

[Saekee]

Cold Iron: when used for more than one minute, breaks Demon DR

[ForgettableNPC]

Cold Iron: when used for more than one minute, breaks Demon DR

Wouldn't constant usage make it hotter?

If anything, it would become Flametouched.

[Saekee]

Wouldn't constant usage make it hotter?

If anything, it would become Flametouched.

Both! It starts as flametouched but then gets cool while being swung around. I assume it is one of those old cast iron skillets so Cold Iron.
There is the cook Skinny, the Droam army chef, that uses one in the Lordsmarch quest Siegebreaker.

[ForgettableNPC]

That sounds way too complicated to implement.