Ok, I've gone through the post
True. The problem isn't that everyone should be able to self heal. The problem is that currently you need only two things: kill and survive. You can have 6 of these guys and you are gold. It would be ok to require a healer in a party for some quests if you also REALLY needed a crowd controler, a tank, a trapmonkey - whatever uniqueness you can get - to some quests. Since you don't need ANY of those things having someone who can't self heal in a party turns out to be more of a liability than a help.
I think we have stated that you don't like changes (except maybe of games).
Someone with a yellow name quoted me, that is a first
That goes on par with what I think. Insert in the upcomming content places where you actually need to be good at sneaking, and trap disabling, and non damage spells, and so on. Don't make it MANDATORY, but make having such skills to speed up/make things easier. Your average monkcher shirardi will still be the uberest dps, but if a party of 6 of those can't beat a quest faster then a party with a couple stealth ppl or something, bang - Playing a steath build is now fun AND adds to the party, withtout needing to downgrade anyone.
Now to my personal opinions, I haven't spend much time on Epic, but the OP stated it wanted info on lower levels aswell. I'm on my last life for completionist, 1-20 wise, I went pure every class just to get the feel. On those levels monk was clearly over the top for me - I had never played a monk before, had no idea on what I was doing and still pretty much broke every quest. On the other hand, my barbarian life made me take a 6 months break from ddo - mostly because besides no self healing (can't even umd scrolls because of rage) there was no reliable damage mitigation either.