Your DDO Jokes!

[Nephilia]

This came out once tried some FVS-hireling...

Childrens do fear Boogieman
Boogieman does fear Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does fear Larafay Do'rret

[wildbynature]

This came out once tried some FVS-hireling...

Childrens do fear Boogieman
Boogieman does fear Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris does fear Flower

fixed that for you ;-)

[bergeau09]

"We value our VIP players."
-Turbine

Good one hahaahhahahaah

[Produktion_Malphunktion]

A half-orc with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar.
The bartender says 'Wow, where did you get that?'
'In a cave' says the parrot.

Q: Do you know where to first copper wire came from?
A: Two dwarves picked up a copper piece at the same time!

You guys hear about the vegetarian ogre?
He only eats wood elves.

Two elves walked into a bar.
Now there's a Bar Elf sub-race.

A drow, a tiefling, and a half-orc are standing on the roof of a burning building. Their only possible escape is to jump into a blanket held by a group of humans on the streets below.

The drow is the first to approach the edge. "Jump!" yell the humans. "It's your only chance!"

Seeing no other alternative, the drow jumps off the roof. The humans pull away the blanket, leaving the drow to splat on the street, dead.

Next is the tiefling. "Come on, you have to jump!" the humans shout.

"I don't think so," the tiefling responds. "You're just going to pull away the blanket and leave me to die!"

"No we're not!" the humans yell back. "It's just drow we don't like. We're fine with tieflings!"

Convinced, the tiefling jumps off and goes splat as the humans pull back the blanket.

Only the half-orc remains on top of the burning building. "Hurry up and jump or you're gonna burn!" the humans shout.

"Nothing you humans say is gonna convince me you won't pull away the blanket," the half-orc responds. "So before I jump, I want you to set the blanket on the ground and back away."

[Memnir]

jokes

HE LIVES!!!
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Hey MM. Long time no see.

[bigolbear]

MAJ lives!

We forum folks have missed u here sir.

JOKES:

a dwarf walks out of a bar...

2 dwarves are in a bar discussing elves,
one dwaf says to the other - "how do ye tell the boy elves from the girl elves?"
The other dwarf replies - "tis easy, the one wearing the dress sipping the glass of wine is the male"

How many halflings does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
2... but getting them in there is tricky

Doctor franksteen, the assistant of mentau is in his lab conductung an experiment, the floor is littered with the bodies of 12 fighters, 6 rangers and 2 monks.... he looks to the sky and proclaims "I have created a MONSTER!"

How do druids make love?
Dogy style!

Rouges Do it from behind... Tanks take it in the face.

What kind of books do barbarians prefer?
ones with soft pages.

Did you hear the one about the exploit jump that required a jump of 41?
Id tell you but you'll never get over it.

I walk on 4 legs in the morning, 2 legs at noon and 3 in the evening... what am I?
a druid.

Whats a druds favourate epic destiny?
FURRY of the wild!

Did you hear the one about the monk working his way from drednaught to fury?
he mastered the shiradi chop!

[bigolbear]

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Kill one, you're a murder.
Kill a hundred, your a conquerer.
Kill em all, you get to see their hit points and cosmetic pet.

Yay for misquothing stalin

[Loromir]

How do you get a Dwarf to Climb up on the roof?
Tell him the beer is on the house.

Two half-orcs go hunting in Kings Forest. They come upon a scantily clad villager girl just relaxing near a waterfall. She becons them over and they ask here if she is "GAME". Why sure big boys...so they shot her.

[rest]

Eveningstar Challenge rewards.


Cannith Challenge XP.


Known Issues list.

[red_cardinal]

Q: Why doesn't a skeleton jump off a burning building?
A: He has no balls.

I once saw an atheist being held by a dwarf cleric.

"Disco inferno" - trolls dancing in a wall of fire.

Summon monster V - devil may take them!

A troll logs into a forum and gets flamed.

Q: What's a deflation of currency?
A: When you loot a pile of gold and get 20 +1 arrows.

Q: What's the worst thing for a drunk dwarf trying to enter a toilet in a tavern?
A: When he gets stuck at a loading screen.

Q: Who developed the Big bang theory?
A: Conan the Librarian.

[fco-karatekid]

...

Where've YOU been!??!?!

[Propane]

I could add a few jokes of my own, but most of them are like a broken swords....

They don't really have a point...

[gphysalis]

I could add a few jokes of my own, but most of them are like a broken swords....

They don't really have a point...

Sorry about that, High Battlemaster Teblyn

It wasn't anything personal...

[Zzevel]

A drow, a tiefling, and a half-orc are standing on the roof of a burning building...."

So we are getting Tieflings in DDO? ... LOL.. I made a funny... hey meow!

[Tyrande]

Sorry about that, High Battlemaster Teblyn

It wasn't anything personal...

But for a cheap cheap price of 95TP prior to coupons, you can summon a repair shop which has an efreeti who will repair all of Battlemaster Teblyn's rusted swords.

For the same price, an enchanted repair all kit will appear and repair all bugged items.

What will Elminster say when he sees a Juggernaut build?

El: "What in the Blaze are you?"
Jug: "16 Artificer/2 Paladin/2 Monks/5 Epic Completionist"
El: "... An overwhelming cleave critical capable self repairing Warforged Artificer but partially monk and paladin and also Many Shot capable? What an obscene abomination!?"

El: "Let me toast some spells on this toaster to roast" "Hmmm... but does it work with Bacon or Harm, eh, I meant Ham!"

We are looking into new possibilities for Harming yourself, and possibly other self Inflicted Wounds.

[MnaSidhe]

Haven't read all the thread yet... apologies for any repeats!

quote

I knew he was still alive!

Jokes:

Q:How many dwarves does it take to change a... uh... the candle in the lantern?
A:None! They can't reach!

Q:How do you confuse a barbarian?
A: Seven!
(math gets them every time)

Q:How do you confuse a half orc?
A: Put three axes in the corner and tell him to take his pick!

A pale master, a warforged and a bard were walking along the beach. They found a magic lamp and rubbed it... and a genie came out! He was so pleased to be free that he offered them each one wish...
The pale master wished for a way to remove stat damage whilst in undead form. The genie rubbed his hands together and simsalabim... now lesser restoration potions work on undead!!!

The warforged wished for his racial immunities back! The genie rubbed his hands together... and simsalabim... once again the constructs could not catch the flu!

The bard looked around... and thought hard. "hmm" he said to himself. "pale masters have been fixed, so they can solo quests. That means more piking opportunities!... Warforged have been fixed so they can better solo quests... that means even more piking opportunities!" The bard turned to the Genie and said: "I think I will have a coffee!".

[Tyrande]

So we are getting Tieflings in DDO? ... LOL.. I made a funny... hey meow!

Oh, there are Tieflings already in DDO, just look around...
(Not in the Character creation screens, however.)

Just no gnomes with a liar and a Francis.

[MnaSidhe]

since im the funniest in game i might as well kill your forum right away with some wee humor...

when is it time to smack a halfling.......
when he tells you your hair smells nice!!! when you figure that one out send me a tell on how hard you rolled around

On Orien we had to change our guild name....

[bhgiant]

Glad to see you back Maj .

[Hokiewa]

Doctor franksteen, the assistant of mentau is in his lab conductung an experiment, the floor is littered with the bodies of 12 fighters, 6 rangers and 2 monks.... he looks to the sky and proclaims "I have created a MONSTER!"

Clever!