Cleric Blame just got Funny

[sainy_matthew]

We've all seen it... heck right here on the board it even breaks down to heated discussions over battle-clerics versus healbots... The cleric is often blamed for anything thats gone wrong. Sometimes its because the cleric is not good at healing, sometimes its because the rest of the group is running around stupidly & sometimes its because somebody else is underspecced & they blame the cleric.

Tonight i saw the funniest thing ever. We are running "Clear the Air" but due to low level of clerics willing to PUG anymore, we did it san-healers (not even a bard or a paladin). We all saw this before hand & stocked up on healing potions (though it was pretty much unspoken).

Well about half way through the run (in a place you don't want to get seperated) i can hear one of the players (a player who broke away from the group) swearing down his mic "Will somebody @#$%ing heal me." & "I'm down to one HP... ! @#$%ing cleric not doing his job!" & lastly "DROP THE !@#$$%ING CLERIC, HE'S NOT HEALING" to which i could only laugh & remind the player in question "Dude, we don't HAVE a cleric. Your going to have to heal yourself." Couple of seconds later his character dies & he pulls out & drops group.

The moral of this story is this: If you play a cleric, it is your fault when things beyond your power happen... Even when you are not at fault & couldn't do anything about it, it will still end up being your problem. Just be warned.

-M

[xanvar]

Having just started playing a cleric again I have to admit it is always my fault. Sometimes I will watch a character die and carry his/her stone with me because it is more effecient to heal the rest of the group instead of dumping all of my sp on one character that isn't even doing a good job. Do I feel bad about this? Nope, it keeps the rest of the minions in line when you let a zerger die.

[epochofcrepuscule]

blah blah Do I feel bad about this? Nope, it keeps the rest of the minions in line when you let a zerger die.

If he was a zerger he wouldnt die and would be self sufficient. Stupidity and zerging are two different things.

Moving on... back to the spirit of the thread...


I was running my a few tears of dhakaan.. there was 5 people in group. A paladin, my funky multiclass build, a wizard and sorc, anda fighter. The fighter is behind the main party and when slivered asks, what do I have to do to get a heal? Naturally he is told to drink a pot. So he asks, "what about the cleric?" So I ask, "If you see one in party, tell him to stop piking so the rest of us can save on pots and wands." This of course angers him and says a few choice words as he recalls then drops. It was a great laugh at his expense though!

(no, my multiclass had no cleric/fvs in it)

[sainy_matthew]

If he was a zerger he wouldnt die and would be self sufficient. Stupidity and zerging are two different things.

Moving on... back to the spirit of the thread...


I was running my a few tears of dhakaan.. there was 5 people in group. A paladin, my funky multiclass build, a wizard and sorc, anda fighter. The fighter is behind the main party and when slivered asks, what do I have to do to get a heal? Naturally he is told to drink a pot. So he asks, "what about the cleric?" So I ask, "If you see one in party, tell him to stop piking so the rest of us can save on pots and wands." This of course angers him and says a few choice words as he recalls then drops. It was a great laugh at his expense though!

(no, my multiclass had no cleric/fvs in it)

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. *wipes tear of mirth out of corner of eye*

Yep... Even when the party has no cleric, its the clerics fault. I wonder how many other people this happens too. As i play a few different characters including a cleric, i am now very careful with my great axe fighter. I always carry pots & keep an eye on my own health. It really isn't the cleric job to hand hold you, but i think there's a substantial section of the DDO community who think of clerics not a player character but instead as there own personal healing pez dispenser. Its just funny when it happens and theres no cleric in the group.

Anyone else want to share there story with us?

-M

[vVAnjilaVv]

+1 .....hilarious...thanks for the morning humor

[Dendrix]

Let them die. leave the stones where they drop. problem solved.

[jwa1975]

What difficulty setting were you on? The reason I ask is because that quest is VERY soloable all the way up to Elite.

[vVAnjilaVv]

What difficulty setting were you on? The reason I ask is because that quest is VERY soloable all the way up to Elite.

Maybe to someone who knows it, for a newer player I would have to rate that as one of the harder lower level quests, especially on elite....those shamans are just nasty....and a lot of people are hard pressed to have a Proof Against Poison item or stacks of Poison pots at lower levels when they are new as well.

Unless of course your warforged...then the quest is pretty much a joke lol

[sainy_matthew]

What difficulty setting were you on? The reason I ask is because that quest is VERY soloable all the way up to Elite.

Normal... which makes it quite funny. I was the highest level character at level 5 (now level 6).

-M

[phillymiket]

I always understood your points, Sainy, and agreed in theory but now I'm leveling a healer for the first time and understand in reality. (I've leveled others but only really soloed because I was scared of the responsibility.)

You learn half way through the first fight who you need to keep your guy aimed at because he/she will need a heal every two seconds.

I had never gotten annoyed much before or LOLed anyone but it is really something to tell someone "hold for buffs" only to have them run off. Then later you tell them "wait for the group" and "gather" only to have it ignored then hear "HEALZ!!" from someone a million miles in front of you.

Some people come into a quest just wanting to show everyone how super cool they are by fighting alone in the lead and "not needing" silly stuff like resists and protections. Other people want to contribute just as much as the barb even though they are squishy little no-fort-havers.

I'm still at the point where i'm drinking the SP pots I've been saving meticulously for a while with my melees and arcanes who never need them. When I run out of those I bet I'll be a stone carrier as well.

It's just too hard to heal people with motives other then party completion (like ego or proving worth).

Healing stupid is no fun. Wow, can't believe I said that but there it is.

[katana_one]

It's always the cleric's fault. Always.

This morning the milk for my corn flakes was sour, and I was all like "What the frack?!? Someone boot that useless cleric!!!"

[Setin_Myways]

I have just started playing a cleric and i have to say I think everyone should try to play a cleric sometime to get the experience. I also think everyone should take a job as a waiter/waitress for one season, just for the humility and perspective it brings... Being a cleric is very much like being a waiter, whatever goes wrong with your 'dining' experience is their fault. It is very eye opening to see exactly how difficult it is to heal a party, and if you are the only healer... you do have to laugh, people yelling about the **** cleric, and you have tried to heal them 5 times only to get the 'Speedy Gonzales is out of range' or the damned 'so and so is blocked' message. Do you still burn the sp on these failed attempts?

I like the healing aura too. Now you can tell people ' i will heal you during combat, but if you want to be topped off in between, you best come stand in my aura'...

I really like the idea of letting them die and carry the stone. I ran the necro 1 quest chain last night with mostly the same folks. We had a 2hf that was just a sp sink. I could hardly make it from shrine ot shrine without having to switch to a wand... well, he had to drop and suddenly, I was able to save a shrine or 2, yet we were down a player in the group... this speaks volumes about tactics and play styles, so playing a cleric will make me a better player for my other classes...

I have to say my personal pet peeve is the damned wf that does not carry any healing and seems to have neglected the healer's friend feat chain... I tell all wf, you best be self healing because I see you as a sp dump.

So just remember, like a good waiter, if you have a good healer, leave them a nice tip at the end of the quest. chances are, they will spend it on a wand or some other item to help them help you.

[Kriogen]

Bad players allways blame others. Thats because blaming is the only thing they can do.

[sainy_matthew]

It's always the cleric's fault. Always.

This morning the milk for my corn flakes was sour, and I was all like "What the frack?!? Someone boot that useless cleric!!!"

I know, right... I couldn't find my shoes this morning and i was all like "Healz pleaz!"

-M

[BattleCircle]

Just wait until you are playing a rogue in Madstone, whipping wands, and tossing scrolls to make up for the inadequate cleric in the group.

At the end of the quest the party gratefully tips

The Cleric

[sirgog]

Bad players allways blame others. Thats because blaming is the only thing they can do.

True, but the 'other' that gets the blame is pretty much always the cleric.

Wipe in a quest groups seldom wipe in - say Stormcleave Elite - and the person blamed isn't the Sorc that threw Fireballs at the fire giants that were in the Wizard's webs, it isn't the Barbarian that hit the fascinated/hypnotised targets, and it isn't the Rogue with 55 hitpoints.

It's always the healer that gets blamed for any wipe in weak groups.

[Tumarek]

Its even worse if ya play a battlecleric or fvs... thats a real turn on for nerd rages

I seriously got yelled at because in prey of the hunter 2 arcanes and 2 barbs werent able to kill the giants before my SP ran out :|

[Grecan]

Yep... Even when the party has no cleric, its the clerics fault.

Of course, cause s/he should be there.

It's always the cleric's fault. Always.

This morning the milk for my corn flakes was sour, and I was all like "What the frack?!? Someone boot that useless cleric!!!"

Of course, it's obvious to me that the cleric should be there to cast Neutralize Poison on you. Or that the milk wasn't sour, but you were cursed! It was the cleric's job to cast Remove Curse or Break Enchantment...

I know, right... I couldn't find my shoes this morning and i was all like "Healz pleaz!"

No, no, the cleric should obviously cast Remove Blindness on you, or See Invisibility... What? They can't cast See Invisibility? Another excuse for lousy clerics! Haven't they heard of clickies?

[justagame]

Just wait until you are playing a rogue in Madstone, whipping wands, and tossing scrolls to make up for the inadequate cleric in the group.

At the end of the quest the party gratefully tips

The Cleric

I can't speak to your experience, obviously, but I've been in some painful pugs in Madstone as a cleric -- in fact, it's a very common "cleric complaint experience", because it's one of the first places that the inadequacy of low hp toons without heavy fort becomes obvious and painful to the party. A party without HF can run the best cleric's mana dry between shrines, and yet still manage to blame the poor cleric for their plight.

I had one the other day with the latest cleric I've been levelling (I have several). First, when I joined the group (lfm for 'normal'), the pug leader responded "great, a cleric, now we can do it on elite!" I refused to it above hard, since I didn't know the party. Turns out normal would have been a chore for them. Guys with no fort charging ahead without buffs, without hp, without staying together for mass cures, etc. When I told them I was almost OOM, and would use wands/scrolls, but that it would naturally be slow, no one took heed. Still had guys charging all over the place with reckless abandon. I was OOM within minutes after shrining, the damage they were taking was unreal. Of course, when I was down to scrolls, that only increased the "HEALS!" tells.

Finally, after expending 20 heal scrolls, one and a half cure serious wands, 4 raise dead scrolls, one mana potion, and with the group obviously getting nowhere, I said "sorry guys, I this isn't going to work. We're taking way too much damage to succeed here, and I'm out of resources."

Not even a thanks for trying, all I got were gripes for giving up.

[sainy_matthew]

ok guys, this thread is not so much a ***** fest, as it is intended to be for funny stories about "cleric blame". If you have an amusing story about cleric blame, tell us here.

-M