Post your 'healer' bio here!

[JasonJi72]

Disclaimer: I wrote this bio after a string of bad runs, so please keep that in mind when you read it. I understand that it is a little harsh. I would have deleted it, but I find it comical myself.

Anyway, this is the bio on my evoker fvs:

If I tell you not to do something... do not do it.

I do not heal stupid, just ask my guildies. Sometimes they wish I would, but it is not fair to the rest of the party if I spend resources on an idiot.

I have played a lot of healers, and I have grown a thick skin. The bottom line is, I do not care if you die. I only care about completing the quest and having fun. If you become an obstacle to either one, you are on your own.

I expect a level of self sufficiency. If you are new to the game, let me know. If you are not, then I expect you to do something to keep yourself alive until I get to you, and I expect you to use tactics to mitigate party damage.


If you zerg you are on your own. If I zerg, you better keep up, and follow my direction.


When I play my divine, it is either to help a friend or help the game by playing a healer type. If I join a random pug, it is because I truly am here to help you. Please do not make it painful for me to do so.

I am an evoker, but I think all fvs' are healers.

[Hoglum]

If I miss you with a heal, I guarantee you it was your fault...

Unless I messed up.

Then it was my fault. Oops. I healed the guy who wasn't hurt.

I probably shouldn't have charged in there either.

Sorry 'bout that 10% bud.

[Pewf]

"I'm gimp.

Please invite me to your groups, I guarantee a wipe.

Please.

Thank you."

[sirgog]

I really should change mine to 'I R LOLBATTLE FVS RAR!'

[wax_on_wax_off]

I should add something to mine along the lines of "Druids are divines too". I'm not big on healing but it irks me when I join a group and then everyone stands around waiting for a healer ... it's like, guys, let's go, keep up, I drop mass regens and might even target you if you're lucky for a heal/regen.

[TrinityTurtle]

I agree with Ron White, you just can't cure stupid.

[Memnir]

This is from a healer of mine from a long, long time ago...


I can heal stupid - I just won't.

[Karavek]

I am the sword of the Host! I am the arrow of the Flame. The Divine Wisdom they give to me is my armor, their will is my action. Stand in their light and find the strength to stand, or stand alone and fall. I am but a humble warrior monk trained in the many weapons of the elven martial artist. My calling is to make war upon the unholy legions of undead, and the infernal beasts from the lower planes. Allies are welcome, but do not deceive yourself, I am the weapon forged by the Powers That Be for but one purpose. I am the last light in the darkness that would overwhelm and consume your faithless soul.

I can only offer humble advice to guide you in your life, but make know mistake your life is your own concern and will only matter to me if you choose to follow me and walk in the light of the Flame and kneel before the Host. Mock my gods or one of their followers and find yourself bereft of their aid or mine!.

[Braegan]

Among other tid-bits, mine includes likes/dislikes:

False:


Likes: Quicken Spell, Zergers
Dislikes: Beholders, Whiners

For a time I had the following also:

"Insert healer rant, here."

[MeliCat]

I have a good long winded one on one of mine. Must remember to post it. More a paraody. Basically implying that I'm a bad healer so if you're relying on me you're in trouble already. I should pug more to get more practice healing. I play with far too many self sufficient people these days.

Edit: Finally logged into it:
"
my preference is zerg mode.

there used to be a comment in here about doing your own curses, poison neut, exhaustion, disease from pots and topping yourself with pots between fights. also a comment about my following the person with the star so that if you were on the other side of the dungeon well tough if you wanted hjealz. but now i figure you'll learn this eventually by yourself if you don't already know this.

also... i am not a very good cleric so you're in trouble anyway if you're dependent on me.

hirelings don't cost that much plat anyways.

other things that exasperate me - running off when you need just basic buffs, opening a lever when it's amazingly obvious i'm already opening it, people who refer to me as 'the cleric' rather than using my name, people who only say 'heal' or 'raise' to me. i don't care if you're a really bad player... if you're nice and fun to play with i will LOVE partying you.
"

[Fefnir_2011]

Mine use to say:

"I'm not a healer, I'm a divine siege engine."

Now it says "Don't blur me." but it gets ignored just as often.

[axel15810]

"I'm a melee focused STR based cleric. No, that doesn't mean I can't/won't heal at the same time. Don't confuse battle cleric with "bad"ddle cleric."

Just doing what I can to help fix misconceptions of melee focused clerics.

[laniza]

Well, this is the bio that ALL of my characters have including my FVS

"I am a woman with no sense of direction so if you do not see me around it means I am lost and most likelly need to be rescued from the mobs I stumbled into while I was looking for the rest of the party.
And if it happened that you are lost too please do not follow me because I have no clue where I am going!"

[Wipey]

Every time you blur me, a kitten dies.

It never worked, mean people used to displace me constantly.

[ZennyoTheWise]

"Do the math...potions are much cheaper than repair bills."

[Zorth]

I brake for Mana "Sponges"!

If I drink a Mana pot then so be it.

Donations accepted.

[ddoplayer064]

"Just remember, it's fewer spell points to rez you than to heal you..."

[serthcore]

Use haste pots and i will use heal scrolls

Be more useful than my instakills/nukes if you want heals

[DarkForte]

Both by healers' bios are:

"I'm a speed king,
you gotta hear me zerging!
I'm a speed king,
see me die!"

[BrianTheHun]

Both by healers' bios are:

"I'm a speed king,
you gotta hear me zerging!
I'm a speed king,
see me die!"

+1 for the Deep Purple reference.

My cleric (now a FvS) Born Again Pagan's bio:
Remember the Good Old Days when religion meant imbibing 'holy' drinks and/or other substances, sacrificing elven virgins (when and if you could find one) and dancing around a big fire? I remember, and boy, was that fun. Come back to the Old Ways. Convert, or heal yourself.