thank you guys for all the replies!
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i'm not gonna quote because it'd make this post the size of a small moon.
so yeah, divine power clickies - totally forgot about attack speed from BAB! hitting things isn't causing me any issues, fortunately
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but, it ain't gonna hurt to have higher to-hit either, and i can afford to shell out on a few of those.
DF is indeed fast to cast, it'd depend on the fight and my available SP as to whether i quicken it or not. at the end of the day, if i'm beating on a boss i have to justify time i spend doing other things like bursting and casting DF - which, i guess, is an argument for taking empower, since i'll have to burst less. with cures and the like, i do tend to set them up with their metas fixed and have multiple buttons to hit depending on the situation.
lol, horc may well have been the better option, especially with the THF enhancements - tbh this was a toon i rolled up because a friend asked me to make something to level with his, and i thought i'd delete it after a few levels, so i literally just threw it together in a few seconds. turns out it's actually huge fun and plenty effective, so i've started taking it a little more seriously
i always tell people as soon as i get in group: "i'm melee, not a healer - is that ok?" maybe it's because i'm straight up about it, and maybe it's because i do (usually more than) my share of the heavy lifting, but nobody's had any serious problem with me so far over it
i will have base str23 at 20 even without the +2 tome i ate, no problems there
i thought sap might be a bit of a waste on a toon i group with (hell, i play this game to group, if i wanted to solo regularly i'd play a single-player game). stunning blow i would expect to be using with a good stunning maul or greatclub, hence why i'm thinking it's 2 feats (including quick draw) or not at all, so i'm not slowing down switching to and from my stunner. losing 2 seconds dps to gain +50% damage doesn't sound like a brilliant plan to me, seeing as how most trash dies in about that time anyway. from a quick forum search, it looks like a DC in the high 30s may not be enough to proc regulary, although i'd primarily use it vs. casters - do they tend to have lower fort saves?
CE i can't take, i dumped int - 28pt build etc etc
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and it'll be a loooong time before i can gear that well, too. tanks either seem to be not required in a lot of content (going more by what i read than my limited experience), or required - and need to be spot on, which ain't happening this life. tbh if i go over 20 with this life i was more thinking LD or FotW (maybe with twists from the other) than US, although being able to twist endless turning would be very good, so if i understand correctly i actually need to start off in US until i can twist endless and then grind my way around?
finally, an edit: force manip for blade barrier/cometfall is available to 2nd level wizzies. still plenty of other reasons for it but i thought it worth mentioning.