A guide to trolling players on Khyber

[sirgog]

How to make yourself hated:

Don't actually do these. Some are funny, some are downright nasty.


1) Join a group for a quest that says 'In Progress' and where the quest starts in an explorer area (example: Prison of the Planes). Make your way to the quest entry. Once you are just outside the quest, ask people for directions. While they rage at you or give directions, grab a coffee. Return and enter the quest.

2) Join a Shroud group as the 12th person. Ask for an invite to a +2/30 resist guild ship. Bonus points if you are in a guild with those amenities on your own ship.

3) Join a 'BYOH' group. Get into the quest and summon a divine hireling.

4) When you are holding a level, apply to join a Bravery group, then after you are accepted take your level (pushing yourself out of the level range) and do the quest. (You can get the same effect at some levels by summoning an Onyx Panther but that is more obvious, if you do the level up trick right people will blame the group leader more than they blame you)

5) Join a PUG group for an in progress quest, particularly one where groups usually want to be full. Step into a totally unrelated quest and go and make yourself a coffee. Epic VON6 is great for this - they can't kick you without losing VON5 progress.

6) Post a level 20-20 LFM (25-25 post MOTU) for a quest players run at max level (so your LFM appears at the very bottom of the list). In the comments field type lyrics from 'Call Me Maybe' (or another awful, catchy song) so that everyone that looks at the LFM panel gets that song stuck in their head.

7) Hold your push-to-talk button down for the entire quest or raid. Works better when someone in real life is arguing with you or when you are playing awful music.

8) Post extremely overpriced items in the Auction House (say a +1 Holy Shortsword for 1.2m PP), and then ask people in General Chat 'Is a +1 Holy Shortsword really worth 1200000 platinum?'

9) Join a group for a raid that is marked 'Elite' and then start talking about how this raid is super-hard on Elite and we'll wipe for sure. Bonus points if the raid is the Reaver's Fate.

10) Join a group for a raid that has a lock-in barrier (like the lock at the start of ToD). Just after passing that barrier, say you need to AFK. Don't come back until the quest is finished.

[Dandonk]

I was in a von5 bravery run once, when one of the late comers did a number 4. Gah. Noone noticed until the xp was awarded...

(I checked myddo after to see when he levelled. Yes, it was a true number 4, not the leader making a mistake)

[krackythehoodedone]

Really for total Chaos unleashing your E Thaarask Hound at the beginning of the HOX endfight is an absolute winner.

No one has the faintest clue what it is and it looks exactly like the Puppies

Btw i dont do this I just cant bring myself to be so horrible

I did do it once with a Loreseekers run but I told them I was going to do it beforehand and Hordo still fell for it !

[Blank_Zero]

Number 6 works much better if you include all the level ranges.

1-20/25 means EVERYONE sees it

[flynnjsw]

Really for total Chaos unleashing your E Thaarask Hound at the beginning of the HOX endfight is an absolute winner.

No one has the faintest clue what it is and it looks exactly like the Puppies

Btw i dont do this I just cant bring myself to be so horrible

I did do it once with a Loreseekers run but I told them I was going to do it beforehand and Hordo still fell for it !

I remember that one. It was hilarious.

[Havok.cry]

How about greater teleport to the twilight forge at the end of a shoud run.

DDoor on the portal to the top of chronoscope (inside the bar).

DDoor in front of shroud portals.

Casting DDoor as you run or zerg through a quest ahead of others.

And more.

[Ninety]

DDoor on the portal to the top of chronoscope (inside the bar).

I do that one every time I'm in epic chrono on my caster.

[Machination]

1. Join LFM looking for "trapper" when you have Arti or Rogue levels, but you cannot actually disarm traps of any difficulty above normal, if that. Go AFK to avoid blowing traps if needed, or just blow them (if you can actually find them that is) and say its the first time its ever happened to you.

2. Roleplay as "DDO expert", argue to death about boss DR type, weapon spec, anything of detail really. When you are proven wrong, don't admit it, don't apologize, and make sure to rage quit right as quest ends without any polite departing comments to the party. A mid quest pike after being proved wrong also does not hurt.

3. Roleplay "I am the one". Join a random LFM. Before you enter the quest, be sure to stay calm, quite and composed and only speak when spoken to, answering questions in a short, to the point, and polite manner. Once the quest is clearly underway, start talking constantly about your AC now, your To Hit, your Damage, your weapons, how you love this spell and that spell. Don't stop talking about your self, ever. Don't let others speak if possible, just keep talking about your build. Start commentating on your kills, how "your build" made it possible. When players start giving polite hints that you are showing a little too much ego, take it up a notch, start talking louder and make the comments about how smooth the run is because you are there, don't thank anyone for buffs, but be sure to talk about the great buffs you can give but don't pass them out, use them on yourself. When the quest is over, send everyone tells asking them if they want to run with you again, and you are putting your own group together because you know how to lead better than that last guy.

4. Once quest starts, be sure that your mic gain is turned way down, with random background noise. At this point, what you say is not important, because no one will be able to understand you (your voice will be too quiet, or too distorted, or too drowned out or any combination of the above). When people ask you to type in party chat, reply with voice. When people ask you to adjust your mic, just leave it and keep talking, or start using a wet towel over your mic at this point to make it even worse. Refuse to use party text chat, insisting on using voice chat that no one can hear.

How to make yourself hated:

Don't actually do these. Some are funny, some are downright nasty.


1) Join a group for a quest that says 'In Progress' and where the quest starts in an explorer area (example: Prison of the Planes). Make your way to the quest entry. Once you are just outside the quest, ask people for directions. While they rage at you or give directions, grab a coffee. Return and enter the quest.

2) Join a Shroud group as the 12th person. Ask for an invite to a +2/30 resist guild ship. Bonus points if you are in a guild with those amenities on your own ship.

3) Join a 'BYOH' group. Get into the quest and summon a divine hireling.

4) When you are holding a level, apply to join a Bravery group, then after you are accepted take your level (pushing yourself out of the level range) and do the quest. (You can get the same effect at some levels by summoning an Onyx Panther but that is more obvious, if you do the level up trick right people will blame the group leader more than they blame you)

5) Join a PUG group for an in progress quest, particularly one where groups usually want to be full. Step into a totally unrelated quest and go and make yourself a coffee. Epic VON6 is great for this - they can't kick you without losing VON5 progress.

6) Post a level 20-20 LFM (25-25 post MOTU) for a quest players run at max level (so your LFM appears at the very bottom of the list). In the comments field type lyrics from 'Call Me Maybe' (or another awful, catchy song) so that everyone that looks at the LFM panel gets that song stuck in their head.

7) Hold your push-to-talk button down for the entire quest or raid. Works better when someone in real life is arguing with you or when you are playing awful music.

8) Post extremely overpriced items in the Auction House (say a +1 Holy Shortsword for 1.2m PP), and then ask people in General Chat 'Is a +1 Holy Shortsword really worth 1200000 platinum?'

9) Join a group for a raid that is marked 'Elite' and then start talking about how this raid is super-hard on Elite and we'll wipe for sure. Bonus points if the raid is the Reaver's Fate.

10) Join a group for a raid that has a lock-in barrier (like the lock at the start of ToD). Just after passing that barrier, say you need to AFK. Don't come back until the quest is finished.

[Machination]

Greater Teleport midway through quest, preferably at a chest. Even better if its one of those chests people normally "farm".

I do that one every time I'm in epic chrono on my caster.

[Munkenmo]

3) Join a 'BYOH' group. Get into the quest and summon a divine hireling.

This has happened to me so often when I play on khyber I was seriously starting to wonder if you guys thought it stood for hireling.


1. Join Abbot, perfect placement of your own D Door.

2. Be abbot spotter after puzzles, call encased instead of inferno.

2. Join Rainbow in Dark, get torch, unequip torch and afk midway through quest, come back get key, afk again.

3. Zerg in the shroud, even if you're not screwing others out of chests, they'll hate you for it.

4. Join an Elob on a caster who claims he can solo cast, tell party you don't have quicken / heighten after you're all inside.

5. Run forward with fvs crown during tod part 3 speech, laugh at the banished.

6. Intimidate the abishai during red dragon.

7. Take off all healing amp gear as a w/f tank.

8. Ninja loot the Eardweller

9. Join a completed weapons shipment, leave bauble in chest.

10. Apply for dps spot as a paladin.

[Chai]

Join an Abbot run and tell the raid leader you know the ice room best. Grab the wands, then right click repeatedly in panic mode to flail your fists around instead of using the wand. Claim their is a game bug often and loudly. Bonus points if you loot a litany or something else half the people on the raid want after this kind of display.

Figure out how to make your mic make the most annoying crackling and electronic glitch sounds at twice the volume of everyone elses mic. Be the person that talks most often in the group / raid. Never respond to any requests to turn the mic down or talk less.

[volaxis1]

I tried to cast sleetstorm/grease/globe on shroud part 4 but they nerfed the blades and the healers just healed though it, I should have just run around a puzzle till the wall came.

Not that I usually am a troll, but this guy had it coming, he ended up drinking about 10 pots and crying so I gleamed some satisfaction.

[Hordo]

+1 Numot!

You're "get a cup of coffee" routine is eerily familiar to me, not sure why, but I'll ask the check-out girl at Wal-Mart just in case she knows something.

[volaxis1]

3. Roleplay "I am the one". Join a random LFM. Before you enter the quest, be sure to stay calm, quite and composed and only speak when spoken to, answering questions in a short, to the point, and polite manner. Once the quest is clearly underway, start talking constantly about your AC now, your To Hit, your Damage, your weapons, how you love this spell and that spell. Don't stop talking about your self, ever. Don't let others speak if possible, just keep talking about your build. Start commentating on your kills, how "your build" made it possible. When players start giving polite hints that you are showing a little too much ego, take it up a notch, start talking louder and make the comments about how smooth the run is because you are there, don't thank anyone for buffs, but be sure to talk about the great buffs you can give but don't pass them out, use them on yourself. When the quest is over, send everyone tells asking them if they want to run with you again, and you are putting your own group together because you know how to lead better than that last guy.

There is a leader of a certain older guild that is like this without trying. "If I was on my caster I could do it solo", "My other toon could do what you failed to", then once they die they blame it on lag.

[Saaluta]

Disclaimer: I have never done this, but have seen it done:

Join eVON6 with norm VON5 on level 19 healer/bard after sending leader tell that you just capped and are now leveling. Go into VON5, and wait. When VON5 completes and everyone jumps into eVON6, say "Oh, No!! It seems I still need (low xp number) for cap and can't get in, sorry all"

Saal

[Jacaroma]

How to make yourself hated:

Just say "no"

[Contrex]

Greater Teleport midway through quest, preferably at a chest. Even better if its one of those chests people normally "farm".

Reminds me of one time I cast GT to Twilight Forge on a friend during the run out to Ritual Sacrifice.

She took it.

[praetor]

this guide is superfluous. running around minding your own business is sufficient to anger most khyber players. it's part of our culture to get offended easily.

[sirgog]

1. Join LFM looking for "trapper" when you have Arti or Rogue levels, but you cannot actually disarm traps of any difficulty above normal, if that. Go AFK to avoid blowing traps if needed, or just blow them (if you can actually find them that is) and say its the first time its ever happened to you.

Some traps are good to blow at the right time.

I suggest one of the mincer traps on the left side of the split in elite at-level VON5. Remove your Disable Device item and carry some non-magical Thieves' Tools to make sure you get it.

Bonus points if you kill a few people with the trap box explosion but survive yourself.

[Chai]

3. Roleplay "I am the one". Join a random LFM. Before you enter the quest, be sure to stay calm, quite and composed and only speak when spoken to, answering questions in a short, to the point, and polite manner. Once the quest is clearly underway, start talking constantly about your AC now, your To Hit, your Damage, your weapons, how you love this spell and that spell. Don't stop talking about your self, ever. Don't let others speak if possible, just keep talking about your build. Start commentating on your kills, how "your build" made it possible. When players start giving polite hints that you are showing a little too much ego, take it up a notch, start talking louder and make the comments about how smooth the run is because you are there, don't thank anyone for buffs, but be sure to talk about the great buffs you can give but don't pass them out, use them on yourself. When the quest is over, send everyone tells asking them if they want to run with you again, and you are putting your own group together because you know how to lead better than that last guy.

There have been a few times where we made a drinking game out of how many times specific people would say specific terms. One of those sessions was someone using the term DPS over and over and over again and the rest of us getting shellacked within 15 minutes of being in the group with them.