Why must children frustrate me so?

[Varashad]

/Rant on

This morning I logged onto my gimpy little level 8 wizard with 140 hp and 760ish sp. I planned on having a quick, easy solo of the Pit, until I remembered the ooze down at the bottom was immune to my spells. I promptly make an lfm, post it as "IP, BYOH, know the quest" and went to work. After two minutes, I have three players in my party. I provide ship buffs which they graciously take, and then enter. Not thirty seconds after they enter, I hear a ding. Then another. Annnnd a third.

I am immediately bombarded in party chat. I realize they all fell into the lava, and I facepalm in frustration. They start begging for me to come and raise them so they can get loot. I promptly inform them that they were supposed to know the quest, and therefore not fall off into oblivion thirty seconds in. They beg, offering me millions of plat, turbine points, and other magnificent prizes for me to save them. I decline and go on to finish the quest. One of them decides to be a hero and cake. He didn't last long due to the lava and oozes. More pleading.

Then, another person joins, a level 8 cleric. He enters right away, and quickly revives my hope in randoms by joining me promptly, supplementing my CSW pots with his own healing, and offering spell + melee DPS. Towards the end of the quest, he reveals to me that the players in question are his little brother, and two of his friends, and asks if I could wait while he goes to save them. We debate a bit, with me arguing that them losing loot is a good lesson for joining an LFM they're not qualified for. I agree to raise them at the end of the quest. He accepts this, and we finish with ease.

I head downstairs, grab the dead, and dimension door back to the entrance, feather fall down to the shrine, and they all raise. Not two seconds later, one of them jumped off the ledge and fell back down to the bottom... and died. His buddies at least let the cleric heal them before they did this as well. The cleric and I floated down, and he scrolled one of them to life, then healed them. The three kids promptly broke their weapons on the oozes, and begged for heals, haste, rage, displacement, and other buffs in party chat. I ignored their pleas and let their kind relative baby sit.

For the ooze, I did hage and displace them while the pummeled the boss with their fists. The cleric used some light spell, his radiant bursts, and wands to heal the kids, who after nearly a minute killed it. I looted a Muck's Doom, my first one ever, and recalled, only to be assaulted by tells begging me to give one of them the Muck's Doom, after all I didn't need it. I dropped party, friended the cleric, and then logged off.

My rant is about kids. Children. If you're too young to read a parties LFM, you're too young to play this game. If you're too young to understand the other people play this game for fun, not to be your buff and heal bot, you're too young to play. If you're BAD at this game, and unwilling to listen to advice, you don't need to play.

/rant off