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Originally Posted by
elg582
This is a pretty wide open topic. I guess the easiest way is to break it down by class:
Fighter: Your standard tank. Stalwart Defender line requires toughness and one of combat expertise, shield mastery, dodge, diehard, or least dragonmark of sentinel. Other important feats include the weapon focus and weapon specialization lines, toughness, improved sunder, toughness, exotic weapon proficiency (khopesh or bastard sword, usually), more toughness, TWF or THF feats for DPS mode, yet more toughness...
Paladin: Similar to fighter, but with less DPS. Feats are much scarcer, and you'll need to spend one on combat expertise, tower shield proficiency, shield mastery, or diehard for the Defender of Siberys line. Starting ability scores can be difficult to balance since they need at least some investment in 4 different abilities, 5 if you want combat expertise and any kind of skills.
Barbarian: Strength. Constitution. Big weapon. Hit stuff. Keeping aggro usually isn't a problem; surviving aggro sometimes is, and clerics hate it when barbarians tank.
Monk: Tanking monks are sort of a different breed; it's hard to get a pure monk over about 600 hp, which leaves you vulnerable to extremely high damage no-save spells and extremely bad lag. That being said, a strength-based dark earth monk in full cry is perfectly capable of holding aggro from anything except an indiscreet caster.
Gear you'll figure out as you go; mithral full plate is a good place to start, and look through the wiki at the different named armors you can find, many of which are bound to account, so you could trade them over.