You say you want to avoid a weak character. You are presumably following a Tihocan build, but want a drow tank? And once you are spoon fed all the information to make one "it makes your eyes bleed"? Then you want a build that exists to do X,Y and Z and when you are given that exact information you protest that you don't want to do X, Y, and Z.
While it doesn't quite take the level of Junt's post for every class, it can get pretty close. If you want to build a multiclassed toon, you pretty much need to know every class power, feat, and enhancement for each class you are dealing with (mostly for the splits). You also have to be familiar with readily available gear. All of this just to match the effectiveness of a Tihocan build.
The best way to learn is to play the game. The best way to play the game is with a Tihocan (some are improved by Unbongwah, see if you can understand why) build. Once you understand the game, understanding why the builds are that way comes naturally. Then go out and make any build you want.
Weaksauce: "reknown decay" are the magic words to summon a flamefest.
PS. Don't build a cleric. Just don't. They do almost everything you've asked about in your posts, but everybody blames the cleric. It's the cleric's fault. Even if he hasn't made it to the quest entrance yet.
PPS. Typically roleplaying requires builds that stray from pure min/max builds. Expect to get grief from it from various PUGs depending on how far you stray (this can be difficult to due to the overlap of whining from powergamers who have intentionally forgotten what it was like to level the first time). There are also roleplaying guilds who welcome such things, and might be what you want.