Completionist Ego

[Healsavant]

Someone just said yesterday that every party they are in with him he has to bring up something about his time in prison....just because he made completionist doesn't in any way mean he is uber.....I think I ran 1 time with him long long ago, but have heard enough warnings to know its wise to stay way unless I'm looking for trouble. Either way my op....solo....should just solo.....

[Thrudh]

The 'other' person is a great human being, and defiantly worth your time to befriend, and I just can't fathom why she would want to associate with that other, but meh, everyone has flaws

She's not that great if she stands idly by while he is a total jerk to people.

It does reflect on her. And not just her reputation. She is genuinely not a great person if she says nothing when he acts that way.

[cdr]

She's not that great if she stands idly by while he is a total jerk to people.

It does reflect on her. And not just her reputation. She is genuinely not a great person if she says nothing when he acts that way.

I could hear her laughing in the background while he raged at/belittled some casual puggers. Not sure what's going on there, but it sure didn't improve my opinion.

[AMDarkwolf]

agree with that, it does lower what / who she is, but alone she is a great person.

You all know people irl or otherwise, who are 'infected' by others with less stellar personalities. Shes just one of them.

Basically its her line of thinking is 'this is the only guy in the world who would accept me' so she does her best to appeal to him, even if hes what he is.

The fact what you two described above me happens is why she is not on my friends anymore.

The problem is, this gent we discussing seems to think 'ANYONE who knows her' knew him first(Which is funny, i only ever tolerated him because of her, and I never even MET him till I had know her a good long time)

But you can't always understand people, this is just another example of that

[English_Warrior]

It's nothing to do with attaining completionist...."he" has been one to avoid for as long as I have been on Sarlona.

Anyone remember his old bio years ago?...not sure if he still uses the same one...but if you remember it you know it just about sums up his ingame personality:

whiny with delusions of grandeur.

[AMDarkwolf]

well ya, pretty much anyone, save teh select few(and that select few group shrinks quite fast when they see him 'in action') will agree.

Just avoid him, your better off. At the very least you will lose NOTHING. At the most u just miss out one some of his antics ;P

[Ilindith]

My first thread was deleted because i was so angry with that guys behaviour that i forgot to delete his name when copy - pasting from the party chat. The dm did his job, for this i have no issues.

On the other hand i refuse to accept omerta in this forum Ilindith.
No one is getting banned for posting behaviours like this on the forum.

Fortunately, i had never run in one of his lfms before, now i know why ppl talk about him like that.

I was merely speaking from experience, having posted stuff before with names REMOVED and still got infractions for it.
I was never telling you to be silent or hide it, I was just saying you might get in trouble for it even with names removed.

[Munkenmo]

if its who i think it is, yes, hes always been like that, slightly toned down when ... someone else.. is part of the group, but for the most part, that person is just very angry at everything, and has an ego the size of the sun(Yet little if nothing, to support it :P)

Don't let it worry you, squelch him and move on. The 'other' person is a great human being, and defiantly worth your time to befriend, and I just can't fathom why she would want to associate with that other, but meh, everyone has flaws

I draw so many parallels from this post

Go on Atma tell me how you really feel

[AMDarkwolf]

I draw so many parallels from this post

Go on Atma tell me how you really feel

*hugs Munk*

[valharan01]

if its who i think it is, yes, hes always been like that, slightly toned down when ... someone else.. is part of the group, but for the most part, that person is just very angry at everything, and has an ego the size of the sun(Yet little if nothing, to support it :P)

That is not ego, that is pure self loathing and powerlessness. When you are that impotent in almost every aspect of your life someone like that tends to try and find someone weaker both mentally and physically than themselves, granted it takes a long time to find someone that low on the totem pole.

[drewrayder]

(Party): You have joined ***********'s party.

(Party): *********** dismissed you from the party.

(Tell): *********** tells you, 'just occurred to me i dont know you.'

Really? why bother lfm then?
Next time you want to run coalescence chamber on elite just invite your friends or lfm that its private.

this couldnt be more typical of ddo people. oh i see you left out a few things from that conversation. ill illuminate everyone for you.

after i removed him from group, a good friend of mine informed me who he was. i added him back. i did now know his alts. my good friend explained to him that i didnt know his alts. after my friend said so, i was happy as can be to have him. but by then he had the chip on his shoulder and typed me his alts and told me to squelch them, so i did. then he left the group.

If your going to villify someone on here, be sure to give the whole story. that situation could have gone alot better if I changed my lfm slightly and im sorry I didnt. If you didnt assume I should know your alts the situation would have been fine. but thats how **** goes sometimes.

and as to atma fueling the fire there...well thats how he is. never misses a good chance to attack someone. he dont like me because we are ALOT alike. that comes from "that certain person" who knows both of us well.

i learned most people on the forums dont play the game with me. and its always easy to be that way when you hide behind the computer. you guys can think what you want and villify me or whatever. i ws pretty bad in the past a good year to 2 years back. i grew up. maybe others on here can too? all I have to say.

[kittikatgurl]

IBTL

I'm certain my attempt to defuse the situation will make matters worse, but I will try.

As for the original post and events like it, which I know and remember, keeping the true picture in mind is always a good idea. After multiple wipes of a quest, reforms of groups, people zerging, dying, not listening, yes my husband does tend to get a bit bitter, a bit short and a little standoffish. Is the the correct attitude? Perhaps not, but who hasn't felt similar. Add to that a spotty internet connection and nights that sometimes nothing in the world can go right and perhaps you can understand a little better.

Those that do run with us will know, those days aren't all the time.

I will make a note about the rather personal attack against me. If you ever, ever, hear me laughing because he is 'belittling' or 'teasing' someone, it is because that someone is a personal friend to both of us and it is an inside joke. Both them and us are well aware he doesn't mean a word he is saying and that is part of the humor for all concerned.

I would finally say, know before you judge. I know the full story of the event is different from it is portrayed here, no doubt because the OP was angry. As always, there are two sides to every story.

However, this thread is a very personal attack against both me and my husband, whether names are given or not.

[valharan01]

IBTL

I'm certain my attempt to defuse the situation will make matters worse, but I will try.

As for the original post and events like it, which I know and remember, keeping the true picture in mind is always a good idea. After multiple wipes of a quest, reforms of groups, people zerging, dying, not listening, yes my husband does tend to get a bit bitter, a bit short and a little standoffish. Is the the correct attitude? Perhaps not, but who hasn't felt similar. Add to that a spotty internet connection and nights that sometimes nothing in the world can go right and perhaps you can understand a little better.

Those that do run with us will know, those days aren't all the time.

I will make a note about the rather personal attack against me. If you ever, ever, hear me laughing because he is 'belittling' or 'teasing' someone, it is because that someone is a personal friend to both of us and it is an inside joke. Both them and us are well aware he doesn't mean a word he is saying and that is part of the humor for all concerned.

I would finally say, know before you judge. I know the full story of the event is different from it is portrayed here, no doubt because the OP was angry. As always, there are two sides to every story.

However, this thread is a very personal attack against both me and my husband, whether names are given or not.

Trust me when I say that no one really thinks enough about him to honestly care all that much. One person is upset, were all still mystified by that actually. This is more for the lulz it generates and that is about it. His hypocritical antics are well known to all.

As for personal attack's, it is not actually. This is pure truth. There are people on the server who I wont name who have paper thin skin and yet seem to want others to take abuse that they themselves so vociferously decry from others.

It is a game and nothing more, we are here for entertainment and I pity anyone who measures their sense of self worth with inconsequential accomplishments paraded in front of a group of complete strangers.

[Taimasan]

When people on the forums start to get to me I just remember this.

Most of the time the **** they type they would be terrified to really say it in your face 3 feet away.


Let cowards enjoy the typing rush of glory as they cause incite. Its all they have.

[Thaxlsillyia]

(Party): You have joined ***********'s party.

(Party): *********** dismissed you from the party.

(Tell): *********** tells you, 'just occurred to me i dont know you.'

Really? why bother lfm then?
Next time you want to run coalescence chamber on elite just invite your friends or lfm that its private.

A lot of people did something like this to me a while ago, the only difference being they recognized me. Apparently forgetting to do the traps in vod as the solo trapper gets you a poor reputation (even though I had a perfectly good reason, I forgot to get to them after painting orthons)
Have a cookie and move on.

[Darkrok]

I really want nothing to do with the drama in this thread but I'll agree that if you're going to list an LFM and not put in that it's private then please take whoever hits the LFM. There are new people playing the game and there will be many more as DDO releases an expansion. This kind of insular behavior will drive away new players - something that none of us should want if we want DDO to be around for awhile.

I'm not saying you shouldn't run with the people you know. But that's what channels and guild chat are for. There's no reason to clutter up the LFM with a bunch of groups that the new people aren't allowed to join. We were all those new people at some point and should show a bit of understanding.

[k1ngp1n]

this couldnt be more typical of ddo people. oh i see you left out a few things from that conversation. ill illuminate everyone for you.

after i removed him from group, a good friend of mine informed me who he was. i added him back. i did now know his alts. my good friend explained to him that i didnt know his alts. after my friend said so, i was happy as can be to have him. but by then he had the chip on his shoulder and typed me his alts and told me to squelch them, so i did. then he left the group.

There had to be a friend's recommendation before acceptance for vale elites?

Huh?

Dude, I would bail on that group, too.

[cdr]

That is not ego, that is pure self loathing and powerlessness. When you are that impotent in almost every aspect of your life someone like that tends to try and find someone to try and feel like they are better than.

This is very true, IME. I've interacted with a lot of different nerd/gaming communities, and you unfortunately see it a lot even though you'd think maybe people in these fringe groups should know better. "Meanness is smallness of character."

[AMDarkwolf]

This is very true, IME. I've interacted with a lot of different nerd/gaming communities, and you unfortunately see it a lot even though you'd think maybe people in these fringe groups should know better. "Meanness is smallness of character."

U know.. Im not sure what to think about that, except to say (Being a little transparent here) that I have a LOT of self loathing, yet I DO NOT treat people like that. Much of the time during my life, I hate who i am, and wish i could change all that I was, and during those times, the lowest points of my life, I don't think I've ever been as 'hostile' to random 'unknowns' as someone we know always has been.

So while it may play a part, its not the 'only' reason. You have to be even less of a character, with much deeper flaws in your personality, to try to make OTHERS feel worse than you just so your 'better' (Rather than make yourself feel better, making others feel worse = you are feeling better then them?)


Sorta like .... im the shortest person in a group of people, so chop off everyone's legs, Now im the tallest. (Bad analogy i know but im not the brightest tool in the shed )

[Cordovan]

This thread and topic of discussion is over.