RL Drama, my house is my castle!

[wax_on_wax_off]

I'm really not sure why I feel so strongly about this topic. Perhaps from some experiences that I had in share houses growing up, maybe from watching the Australian film "The Castle". Regardless of the cause I do feel very strongly about it and it's about the only time that I'll stand my ground in the face of adversity (as I'm generally quite passive).

Do you feel that your house is your castle? Does this change between boys and girls? Can girls properly understand just how territorial a guy can get about his home?

I've had this ongoing dispute with my partner about her parents. They don't respect me, talk trash behind my back to my partner and generally do their very best to make me feel like I'm worthless.

At one stage her parents indicated that I was no longer welcome in their house and I reciprocated the feeling. However, this is complicated as my house is also my partners house and she is very close to her parents so of course wants to have them over. I was happy to negotiate but my partner was happy to ignore the topic thinking that it would go away if she didn't think about it until events came to a head one day and it resulted in me getting into a shoving match with her dad demanding to be let into my house. After a bit of yelling and arguing he eventually left.

We tried to talk it out but the outcome wasn't very positive and we were certainly very close to breaking up over it. Between the fact that we are a very good couple and we had a child on the way we worked through it. I'm not sure if that was because she saw my side or if she just didn't want to be a single parent.

Towards the end of the pregnancy her parents came over once or twice and sat on our couch which I wasn't very happy about but with my partner being full term I was ok to make an exception as they just wanted to make sure she was ok.

After our daughter was born and things settled down a bit I indicated that usual practices were resumed - no parents in the house - and I thought that it was understood. However, just a few days later the parents came around and I ended up in another shoving match with her dad and I ended up having to put him in a headlock until he indicated that he wouldn't try to enter the house again. Needless to say this resulted in another close to break up situation. The outcome was that I indicated that her parents were no longer welcome in the complex in which we lived (as if they can't behave themselves outside the house then they need to be kept further away).

This was fine for some time until today when my partner told her mum to drop her at our door. I flipped out, I have to say. There was no question about lack of communication either, just this morning she asked if her mum could pick her up and I said no; I also commented that it felt a little inconsiderate as just on the weekend I'd shared with her how upset the whole thing still made me when I was reminded of the situation by something as innocent as going to the beach in the nearby town where her parents often are.

What do you think? Do I have a right to not let her parents in the house we share together in normal circumstances? (barring situations like full term pregnancy)

I tried to be very clear about what would happen in certain situations - if your dad tries to come into the house we'll end up in a fight - it happened - twice, and yet she asks how could I do it? If either of your parents now comes into the complex I'll either end up in a fight with your dad or I'll cause willful damage to your mums car - it happened and again she asks how I could do it?

/rant off

I realise DDO forum is hardly the place for this but it's about all I've got, any constructive feedback is welcome.