Cleanish D&D Jokes

[LeslieWest_GuitarGod]

KOBALDS.... PIRATES... LOOT.... MORE KOBALDS... WATER........FARMING ..... NEED REQUISITIONS.....lack of sleeep...... MORE BARRELS... BETTER NOT EAT RAT TONIGHT..... must be going craaaazy... need water... must tell jokes......!


So Yaaryar walks into the legendary Rook's Gambit, his old favorite - although he hasn't been there in a while. Immediately Vada Laga, the bartender on duty, notices him and says "Haven't seen ya in a while, where ya been? You look terrible!"

"Huh?" said Yaaryar, "What do you mean?"

"Oy, you've got a wooden leg! What happened?" said Laga.

"Well," said Yaaryar, "Our ship was in a fierce sea battle, and me leg got hit by a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

"What about that hook? What happened to your hand?" again asked the bartender.

So Yaaryar explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into it with a warforged artificer with a goofy spinning ring around his wrist. Me hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook... but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said Yaaryar, "One fine day at sea a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them sh!t in me **** eye!"

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird sh!t."

"It was me first day with the hook."