Welcome to DDO.
And now I must apologize - what you are planning is a recipe for failure and pain and from your posts there are a few preconceptions that you are bringing to the game that will only add to the aforementioned pain and failure.
This is not a flame - I am trying to help. This is an attempt to save you from getting frustrated and rage quitting the game. Please note that at low levels anything is viable and can tear through content. The issues will start to appear when you hit the mid level and higher content.
The first thing I want to do is tell you that you made the correct choice in coming to the forums with your questions. Many new players don't and then get frustrated.
Unfortunately it looks like you are ignoring most of the advice. As stated, the build you are planning (14 Ftr/6 Wiz) will only result in a weak fighter who can cast weak spells - that is inescapable because of the DDO combat mechanics. For what you are trying to accomplish the Bard class is the way to go. It does excellent melee damage (esp as a warchanter) and can buff/crowd control with the best. An added advantage is that bard song are NOT magical so will not be dispelled by beholders and other dispelling enemies.
I had to address this directly. The only reason ever to buff yourself and no one else is when you solo. You seem pretty empatic about not wanting to buff others. D&D was designed as a team game and DDO still holds true to that, although it is possible to solo most content. Buffing helps out the entire party. AOE buffs like haste are the single greatest spell you can cast as it increases the effectiveness of everybody significantly. Plus if you go bard it would take some serious gymnastics to play your songs where only you can hear them.
Please do not multicalss your first toon - go pure. Multiclassing is for experienced players who know the strengths and weaknesses of each class and how to compensate for them. Even if you pull a perfect build off the forums you would still need items and weapons that are only available as rare drops (torc/madstone boots/head of GF, ect) or at the end of long grinds (Greensteele, cannith crafting).
Hope you read the Wall of Text and it helps. And have fun.
EDIT:
I hope this doens't mean that you will be gong 10 Ftr/10 Wiz? Because that will be one of the worst possible combinations in the game. Please resconsider.