Making finesse competitive in damage would make dex wis monks and monk splash AC builds overpowered. I would immediately LR my paladin into a dex based monk splash. The fact that a finesse pure ranger or rogue is underpowered compared to a STR one is not because finesse is bad, it's because the person went for finesse on a build that doesn't really benefit from dex. If neither the extra AC nor reflex is needed on your build, then it is simply a mistake to go finesse. For such builds, finesse is just the easy way out of the character creation stat distribution interface, because it leaves a nice amount of points for other stats.
Str - damage
Dex - AC, reflex, TWF feats
Seems fine to me. If you do not need the AC and reflex, then don't go dex based. If it's a TWF build, suck it up and put the needed points into both strength and dex, or simply accept that you will do lower damage. I agree that AC should work better in epics, but I don't agree that finesse should be so powerful that it becomes viable even for builds who don't benefit from the AC. The AC benefit is there, it can't be ignored, if your build doesn't utilize it then it was simply a mistake to go finesse.