When designing my own cRPG, the first thing I decided upon was making Agility (equivalent to D&D's DEX) the to-hit stat, STR is damage. It has always been the more logical way of doing things to me, with even my limited experience in martial arts. I felt this way back when I was 7 and decided I wanted to make a crpg, and never have changed that thought.
Now I have experience with the English Quarterstaff and German Longsword, and what I felt back then has been proven true by that experience.
Swinging a Longsword (using this as example, but it's a common theme) is about leverage, and using the body to efficiently generate force along the cutting edge. Swing a longsword like a crowbar, and you're going to get killed. Think that a qstaff is a big hammer without a head, and treat it as such, and you won't get much done except die embarrassed.
The person who puts a lot of force into using a broadsword is a person who doesn't know how to use a broadsword. It's not a crowbar. That point sinks quite readily into flesh; that edge cuts skin easily. This isn't a movie. If you need lots of force to a blow to make a broadsword work, then learn to use the Broadsword right. It's about leverage; not power. I generate more force with a Quarterstaff by using it properly and using leverage than I ever would swinging it like a sledgehammer. And as more than one person found out, it moves very, very fast.
Pick up any
Christian Tobler book, like "Fighting with the German Longsword". I also recommend checking out the ARMA's website
http://www.thearma.org/, as it has a good many articles on western martial arts in general. In reality, the main difference is Eastern and Western arts is wide-spread publication and availability, and more than a bit of marketing. The western arts are lesser known, and like your post illustrates vastly misunderstood and oversimplified into brute barbaric nonsense. In studying both, I'm finding more similarities than differences, and what differences there are are due to cultural and technical limitations.