One of the funniest things I've ever read...

[Asmodeus451]

THIS IS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I'VE EVER READ PERTAINING TO TABLETOP RPGS

[Diyon]

I read a lot of that thread (or one of its previous incarnations) years ago, and will attest that, yes, much of it is hilarious.

I particularly like the one about the psion and the barbarian's brain.

[Caine33]

The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip.

The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time.

Gnomes do not have the racial ability 'impromptu kickstand'

My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live"
Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps"

Not allowed to buy a holy symbol for every god just in case one of them is right

Stinking cloud is a privilege, not a right

A starting character has no need for 100gp worth of hemp rope

If the party always starts the adventure in a tavern, I cannot opt to start in a brothel

I cannot insinuate elf chicks are all easy, even though you never hear about a half gnome do you?

[Deanarth]

38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepid mansion from the outside.

Probably the one I have the most problems with. EVERY ADVENTURE either takes place in a (mostly) stone building, underground, underwater, space (yep), or involved people they can't kill (or that won't easily be rezzed).

Magic Carpet + Bag of Holding full of Alchemist's Fire + Town = /dm-cries-himself-to-sleep-again.

[Blank_Zero]

This was posted in another thread on here a little while ago.... I added to the list:

I'm am not allowed to have any combination of telekinesis, Tenser's Floating Disc, and Sewing Needles on any character ever ever ever.

Ever.

Seriously. No.

[jcTharin]

This was posted in another thread on here a little while ago.... I added to the list:

I'm am not allowed to have any combination of telekinesis, Tenser's Floating Disc, and Sewing Needles on any character ever ever ever.

Ever.

Seriously. No.

I know.

[Bwahahaha]

This is a rip of the infamous Skippy's List.

1. Not allowed to watch Southpark when I’m supposed to be working.
2. My proper military title is “Specialist Schwarz” not “Princess Anastasia”.
3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone’s disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.
5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.
6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.
7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

http://skippyslist.com/list/

[Tobril]

This is from "Things Mr. Welch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG"

http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html

[brian14]

I do not find this list particularly funny -- because pretty much anything on it my PnP group either did, or would have done if we thought of it.

Such as:

38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepid mansion from the outside.

Why the hell not?

[Ugumagre]

oh oh oh... I dont know why there are some images coming to my mind:
- flying undead caimans
- 20th level lawful good Jehova Witness Orcs.
- killing 6500 civilians in order to steal some computer chips...

[Tobril]

38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepid mansion from the outside.

Probably the one I have the most problems with. EVERY ADVENTURE either takes place in a (mostly) stone building, underground, underwater, space (yep), or involved people they can't kill (or that won't easily be rezzed).

Magic Carpet + Bag of Holding full of Alchemist's Fire + Town = /dm-cries-himself-to-sleep-again.

This is easy to deal with. The local authorities are dispatched to deal with
a sudden wave of arson that is endangering a historic landmark.
(or nearby cities, endangered species, allied kingdoms, etc)