I didn't read much of the thread beyond the first few posts.
I'm going to add my two (euro)cents to the thread...
Some people tend to measure e-peens by how your 'build' work. ( as they can't decently measure it against each other through the almost non-existant unbalanced PvP )
If you did not minmax and plan your character from LVL 1 to LVL 20 you will be a gimp to these people because you will do poor choices along the way.
For example I have a nice Halfling Cleric with the full set of Dragonmark of Healing... and no quicken, no toughness, Con 12. She is by their definition a gimp [ low HP, no quicken ] but she still has lots of hjeeelage powah when she is out of mana, and if the melee do their job, of keeping mobs off her, well she is great at destructing things as well as healing. In my case it was deliberate. ( but I have other gimps [ still by the definition of the minmaxers, like the one in my sig, that can survive quite well in Epics... )
The point of all the above is people will look at you from the minmaxing point of view, and anything that is not minmaxed will be bypassed in PUGs.
Personally, I come from PnP, and my main PnP Game is Rolemaster... where Minmaxing is a nightmare when it comes to character development. So I just create and level my characters the way I feel them. Sure a good number of them are gimps from the PUG minmaxer point of view, but as I play mostly in guild or in groups with friends from other guilds it doesn't matter, as long as I can handle myself, do what I'm expected to do when I'm expected to do it.
All in all, what really matters is if your having fun with your character. If you do find people willing to group with you, and eventually, if you're not already in a guild, find a guild with the same play style.