Help with Free Thinking

[flameninja]

God wrote the DM manual, and the players aren't allowed to use their own house rules!

I woke my grandmother up laughing at this.

She still lives with her mom and she cant go to any other church without getting into deep trouble. (or worse)

[NeutronStar]

Going with what you call "win," The battle hasn't defeated my patience yet.

It probably will. Believe me I know.

Is there anyway I can show her how I think freely, how to "Teach" her over a long period of time?

You can't "teach" her. Please get that through your head. Seriously. That's my whole point. You WILL be completely frustrated in this.

When I say years, I don't mean two or three years. I mean 10 to 15 years. I say 10 to 15 because I'm guessing she's 18-20? She'll need to basically "unlearn" everything her parents drilled into her during her formative years. This will not be easy for her and only she can do it.

If you insist on following this doomed path, the ONLY thing you can do to "teach" her is to ONLY set an example of a free-thinking person. That's it. End of story. If she's even capabale of thinking on her own, EVENTUALLY, she MIGHT figure it out. I highly doubt it though.

I'm more concerned about you though. You're not a lost cause. Don't let yourself be dragged down like you will if you continue to follow this path.

In any case, I wish you the best.

[flameninja]

It probably will. Believe me I know.




You can't "teach" her. Please get that through your head. Seriously. That's my whole point. You WILL be completely frustrated in this.

When I say years, I don't mean two or three years. I mean 10 to 15 years. I say 10 to 15 because I'm guessing she's 18-20? She'll need to basically "unlearn" everything her parents drilled into her during her formative time. This will not be easy for her and only she can do it.

If you insist on following this doomed path, the ONLY thing you can do to "teach" her is to ONLY set and example of a free-thinking person. That's it. End of story. If she's even capabale of thinking on her own, EVENTUALLY, she MIGHT figure it out. I highly doubt it though.

I'm more concerned about you though. You're not a lost cause. Don't let yourself be dragged down like you will if you continue to follow this path.

In any case, I wish you the best.

Thank you.

I have had one idea. Could it be possible to find a way for her to let out all of her frustrations and anger with what has happened with her life so that it wouldn't be that much harder for her to find ways of dealing with it?

[Buggss]

This is going to be a weird one but it's puzzling me. Lots of people are repeating a lot of what I've already said as if it hadn't been said, can anyone apart from the OP actually see this or have so many /ignored me noone can see my posts?

[katana_one]

… Lots of people are repeating a lot of what I've already said as if it hadn't been said, …

Welcome to the forums.

[flameninja]

Welcome to the forums.

I lol'd

[NeutronStar]

Thank you.

I have had one idea. Could it be possible to find a way for her to let out all of her frustrations and anger with what has happened with her life so that it wouldn't be that much harder for her to find ways of dealing with it?

Many of the prostitutes and drug users in Los Angeles, New York, or other large cities have effectively done that. They open themselves up to self-destructive behavior because that seems to be the only way to let their deeply-rooted frustrations and fears out in a short time.

Clearly, this is something you also do not want.

De-programming would be another way but that would be going against her will. That's probably also incredibly harmful.

No, she's just going have to figure this out on her own. Really.

[Buggss]

Welcome to the forums.

Well that only leaves the possibility that people read the OP and skip right to the end and echo echo echo what's been said.

Thanks for the welcome, it's nice after 5 years of DDO posting

[katz]

This is going to be a weird one but it's puzzling me. Lots of people are repeating a lot of what I've already said as if it hadn't been said, can anyone apart from the OP actually see this or have so many /ignored me noone can see my posts?

oh, i see what you're saying... but it's pretty commonplace for things to get repeated, and rephrased, dozens of times. meh.

[flameninja]

Well that only leaves the possibility that people read the OP and skip right to the end and echo echo echo what's been said.

Thanks for the welcome, it's nice after 5 years of DDO posting

I suspected that after the 5th post.

[jwdaniels]

This is going to sound very harsh, but I'm going to say it anyway.

You are not going to change her beliefs. You can try, but it's not going to happen. The simple act of trying is going to cause you to resent her and her religion because she will never be the free thinker that you want her to be. You will also end up resenting her family for doing this to her. Her family is also going to hate you for trying to change her and "turn her to the dark side" so to speak, and she is going to be stuck in the very awkward position of having to choose between you and her family.

I think you need to decide if you can accept her beliefs as they are. If so, great. If not, it might be time to find a new girlfriend.

EDIT: And if you're 17 and your girlfriend thinks that kissing is wrong, I would suggest that accepting her beliefs is going to be extremely frustrating in more ways than one.

[NeutronStar]

This is going to be a weird one but it's puzzling me. Lots of people are repeating a lot of what I've already said as if it hadn't been said, can anyone apart from the OP actually see this or have so many /ignored me noone can see my posts?

Your advice and my advice are very different.

[flameninja]

in more ways than one.

I know...trust me

[Buggss]

Your advice and my advice are very different.

And just as valid either way, however several do agree and it was those people I was asking.

EDIT: Actually Neutron not all our advice conflicts. You are reading them aren't you?

[katz]

also, another consideration...you didn't say why she cries, just that she cries alot... and that it might *not* be that she fears for her own soul, but for yours. she has feelings for you... and you are a self-described non-believer. to her teaching... if something happens to you, you are going to burn. if the situation were reversed, and you believed as she does, that "knowledge" would tear you up inside, wouldn't it?

[NeutronStar]

also, another consideration...you didn't say why she cries, just that she cries alot... and that it might *not* be that she fears for her own soul, but for yours. she has feelings for you... and you are a self-described non-believer. to her teaching... if something happens to you, you are going to burn. if the situation were reversed, and you believed as she does, that "knowledge" would tear you up inside, wouldn't it?

Believe me sister when I tell you, the only person's soul she's REALLY fearing for in this situation is her own. Been there, done that.

[NeutronStar]

And just as valid either way, however several do agree and it was those people I was asking.

EDIT: Actually Neutron not all our advice conflicts. You are reading them aren't you?

We have brought up similar points. However, my advice as to what he should actually do is very different from yours.

[katana_one]

I know...trust me

Ah. So now we come to the root of it. This isn't about helping her or coming to terms with her belief system. It's about taking the relationship to a more "intimate" level.

Ok, maybe it isn't. I admit I don't know everything about the situation, and I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt here. But make sure you ask yourself if you're doing this for her benefit or for your own. And be honest with yourself, because if you're not honest with yourself in this, you're not helping either one of you.

Edited to be a little less crass. Sorry.

[flameninja]

also, another consideration...you didn't say why she cries, just that she cries alot... and that it might *not* be that she fears for her own soul, but for yours. she has feelings for you... and you are a self-described non-believer. to her teaching... if something happens to you, you are going to burn. if the situation were reversed, and you believed as she does, that "knowledge" would tear you up inside, wouldn't it?

I see your point

Below this line is not on topic with the quote
__________________________________________________

I found something. I'm not posting this because it is religious, I'm posting it because of the on-topic value it has. (I have been given 2 points because of this topic.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bnxJF...eature=related

edit- this to

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URSpn...feature=fvwrel

[katz]

Believe me brother when I tell you, the only person's soul she's REALLY fearing for in this situation is her own. Been there, done that.

i'm no "brother"

i'm a Christian housewife who was raised with a VERY strict Christian upbringing who married a smoking, drinking, tattooed, cussing GAMER (omg! D&D! EEEEEEEVIL!) he has slowly, over the last 12 years changed my mind and opened my eyes, and i his. i do not fear for my soul, or his. so what i'm saying is not coming from a void, it's coming from my life experience