You have a severe misconception of what elitist is. Its not elitist to expect someone to carry the BASICS. Its elitist to expect someone to carry TOP TIER gear and have the perfect build and know all there is to know about a quest/class/whatever. And anyone who CANT live up to those expectations is a loser that should quit DDO. THATS elitist. More specifically, the "elitist jerk".
No matter how you try and wiggle out of it, whatever other stellar thing you are doing with your arcane, you can do all that and STILL provide the BASIC spells, rage and haste.
Fortunately, the game allows for differences in playstyles -- you can choose not to group with the folks that dont jibe with you. That goes both ways, and is JUST as fair each way.