Currently playing a human 18 pal / 2 monk.
Using Conc opp and eventually torc, he can self heal with maxed quickened CSW. Healing amp is hence good.
Combat expertise doubling sp costs generally means I can't self heal while tanking.
He needs both a dps layout and an AC/incite layout.

What I have:
Head: Minos / +5 Bark, +15 intim cove hat
Goggles: Tharnes
Body: DT (Healing amp and radience) / DT (Resistance and incite) / Icy raiments
Bracers: +8 Bracers / looking for Leviks, Glacier / (Chaosgarde, could farm Thaarak bracers).
Boots: Striders / +6 dex. 20th reaver soon.
Gloves: 45 hp concordant opposition and wisdom (Looking for seven fingered)
Belt: DoS belt / KoTC belt
Cloak: +6 Cha / +5 Resistance (Hoping for epic mabar cloak if it comes around again)
Trinket: Pale lavender / Good Head / Greater Stalwart / Nimble trinket
Neck: Nothing, really. Torc, eventually. Cartouche for now.
Ring 1: +6 Strength (Looking for KoTC ring & DoS ring)
Ring 2: +4 Resistance / Heavy fort / Proof v poison / +6 dex (Looking for Chattering ring & Intim ring)

Weapons: Lit2, Insight Min2 / Event t3 cutlasses

Now, I'm looking to make a GS accessory providing 300 sp, +6 cha skills and air guard. The sp boost is lovely for self healing, and the cha skills are a nice boon to intimidate and UMD, and the haste is useful since I solo quite a bit. However - where to put it?
I'd drop cloak and use Splendor, but I'll just run into the same problem when I find the Mabar cloak.
I'd rather not lose tharnes - it's delicious on trash, and when not tanking
Boots prevent me from using +6 dex for ac.
Whether I'd be willing to use madstone on a toon with self healing capacity and the requirement to maintain favor and zeal, I'm not sure yet. I'd also need to continually leave stance to activate it.
Bracers would lose me 6 intim in ac mode.

Meanwhile, I'm struggling to fit in all my AC gear alongside fort/toughness.
Optimally this would include
DoS Belt + Ring (+2 excep con), Icy Raiments, Chattering, +8 Bracers, +6 Dex, Minos (and epic mabar if obtained). Only - this leaves no room for +15 intim. If I swap Minos out for event hat and use Nightforge Gorget, I retain torc and gain both +15 intim and independancy from rangers - but lose gear toughness. At 660 stanced hp, hitpoints are one of my weaker tank aspects, and I'd rather avoid diminishing it further. The only other non-epic non-docent gear containing toughness is thaarak bracelet iirc. A set up of this sort also includes no resistance bonus if I get the mabar cloak. Any suggestions?

Notably I have not started anything related to epic yet. Likely because self healing paladin ac tank is comprised of all the wrong words. At the moment with my khopeshes I feel my damage is reasonably potent, but my to-hit is really rather poor considering some of the epic boss ac's. Something of a shame since a couple of epic articles look like they could resolve some issues, such as the Hyena claw necklace, but epic desert sounds painful. Any tips?