Insults, aggression and arrogance

[Munze_Konza]

When I am playing poorly I would rather have someone tell me than to play with me and mentally note not to ever play with me again.

For example, the other day a group wanted a healer for deleera's. I haven'y played my cleric since before the EU transfer and I never played one past level 7 anyway so when it comes to clericing I am pretty poor. I told the group that though up front so when one of the team said 'Umm...can you heal so-and-so?' I apologized, mentioned how I was trying to catch up (the group was running pretty fast for me) and will try to be more alert.
I just wasn't used to healing people so quickly. But, I will get better at it.

So, yes I expect it if I know I am not a great player, but I always tell people ahead of time. Especially with LFMs that say 'Know the Quest'. I send a tell first explaining how I may not be the most knowledgable of it, if they accept me, then I expect 'some' critiscm but not a flame.

[Setin_Myways]

Back to your reply... "the BS move someone pulled on" you:
What do you want to happen? You want them berated, excommunicated, banned from the game, dragged out back and shot? Where is the line drawn? Do we take your word that it was a **** move they pulled, or consider it may have been a mistake? If you don't know their intentions, how can you really even say that you aren't now being the person on the other side of things talking down about someone because of how they play?

I get what you all are saying and I think that sentence I quoted just caught me the wrong way. Sure there is very little that you can do and it is just a game. I do not think anything happens in game that gets me upset, except when someone is impacting one of my kids with language or content, which i monitor and I will be polite about it to a point.

But, as i said, i had a friend irl that used to always say ' I did not upset you, you chose to be upset' like when i was angry because i used vacation time to help them move and came across country to do so...and after I had been there 3 days they still were not packed, yet it was agreed that they would be packed when i arrived...this was the bs move I was referencing... I guess you can determine if I had a right to be angry or i 'chose' to be angry. So i hate to hear people say 'it is your choice', and i do get it, that i could choose not to be angry to0... but the bottom line is, it does not excuse the behavior.

But yeah, just a game.

[Kakow]

To paraphrase one of my favorite all time sayings to fit the game:

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of jerks is for cool-headed folks to do nothing."

I do all those nice person things and try to help out folks who ask for help, who plainly need the help (via whispers so they're not embarrassed to agree to the help), and I try hard to ignore the absolute newb mistakes, because we all make them at some point in a game that's new to us.

What I cannot and will not tolerate though is when someone in a party is making themselves totally hateful and doing spiteful things to the group as a whole or individuals in it. Ninja looters for example I hate the most. Yes, I squelch them after the quest so I never have the misfortune of wasting time with them, but they've earned every vile remark I can hurl their way. Is it anonymous? Yeah, sure. Is it something I'd say to someone standing face to face? Maybe...I don't have a deathwish, so I won't be saying that **** to someone pointing a gun at me in real life. But at the same time, when I say or do something stupid or insulting in real life I FULLY expect there to be repercussions.

When did it become OK to not be Mr. Instant Karma in a game? I missed that memo. Until I see it, when someone does a jerk move in my parties, they're gonna get the jerk treatment, and I won't lose a wink of sleep over making them feel bad.

[Gleep_Wurp]

here is a fine example of an experiance i had while tr'ing.its a real good one too. i tr'ed a toon into a horc barb, my partner in crime did the same thing.so now we have two toons that require heals/attention from a cleric or fvs. now my friends guild leader decides he wants to group with us(another tr'ed toon into horc barb called player x) im sure you can guess the problem that develops. now player x has several tr's and knows what is expected of him hes not a new player.so we are all lvl 8 at the time and player x wants to farm shadow crypt for xp (really stupid to run at 8 when base is lvl9)
anyway player x thinks he has to run in frenzy all the time which causes total mana drain on healer (also lvl8).whats the problem with that? player x makes the comment hes out of heal pots,remove curse ect.he doesnt carry resist pots because (i cant say without getting infractions) he cant. turns out player x has been out of said pots for 4 other missions before we even hit necro but cant be bothered to stop and resuppy. so as a result i had to drop because i cant run with someone that inconsiderate of other party members (yup i might be a jerk on forums but in party totally different story). having players die and loosing 10% because 1 player is less than helpfull was a real drag. as a result i wont run with player x or his guild because after all "birds of a feather flock together". is that being passive aggressive?,well the best part of the story? player x yelled at the healer for heals when he ran off and left healer in a other area and as a result died and cost us 10% for being a dumb arse. moral of the story? player x is not a newb or a noob just a plain ol' idiot.

[kratimas]

What are you saying exactly? What I take from this is that you are saying its the victim thats at fault if they get upset? Just trying to clarify if Im correct in my assumption.

Yes, I agree with this assumption. Like you said this is just a game and you need to have fun with it. If someone calls you a "W#@$%@#$%@#^$%^$%^#$&#$%^&$%*&$%" who cares. If you let this get to you then yes it is your fault for getting uspset.

If this ever happened to me, I would just smile to myself as I imagine the player doing it, as a 12 year old setting in his mom's basement with a 2 liter of Mountain Dew and a bag of Cheetoes. Laugh and move on.

Just write there name down and ignore them or whatever. There will always be people like this in MMO's and even in real life.

Just my 2 cents

[Luis_Velderve]

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO? Should they expect it? Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant? Why? Is it possibly because it is your time and maybe money thats being invested?

Is it so wrong to accept that this is just a game we all have the option to play or not, to pay for or not, and should never become personal enough to attack others? Is it wrong to believe that people have the right to play a game without harassment? If someone is playing badly or stupidly in your perception shouldn't you just learn from the experience with that person instead of flaming them or belittling them?

Most I stumble with are former WOW players and below 21 power players; not all but most. I squelch/ignore, is very funny because they start with hate mail and I feel like a politician!

[cpito]

Honestly, I've been called rude. The only time I get that way is when someone who has so obviously gimped themselves starts bragging about how amazing their build is in a guild elite shroud when they are the pug.....

There's a difference between being offensively aggressive and defensively so. We've had pugs on mostly guild raids that try to take over. We really don't want to be rude to them or come off being arrogant (we know we're all gimped somehow) but no matter how anyone approaches it, that's how some people are going to take it. All too often being polite falls on deaf ears.

More to the point you are specifically choosing to be the victim. and I dont mean you specifically, I am talking about people that allow themselves to get all bent out of shape by the childish mentality, antics, and griefing of teenagers and adults that have zero people skills in a VIDEO GAME! I cant think of a more apt sticks and stones lecture than that!

To a point, yes, because there is this fancy shmancy feature called /squelch and thay are mostly strangers but at the same time there is a reason that assault is defined as a violent physical or verbal attack. Human beings are notorious for taking things too far and if words didn't "hurt" then there would be no need for an adage about sticks and stones.

[Vint]

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO? Should they expect it? Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant? Why? Is it possibly because it is your time and maybe money thats being invested?

Is it so wrong to accept that this is just a game we all have the option to play or not, to pay for or not, and should never become personal enough to attack others? Is it wrong to believe that people have the right to play a game without harassment? If someone is playing badly or stupidly in your perception shouldn't you just learn from the experience with that person instead of flaming them or belittling them?

Should I expect someone that hits an lfm that says "know it" or "byoh" to know what they are doing? I may be in the minority but when somone hits an lfm and decides to harass me by not meeting the requirements I do get upset.

It is wrong to curse someone out regardless of what they do!!! My only complaint is that everyone overlooks the harassment of "the poor pugger that dosen't know any better" inflicts by wasting time etc. If you want to hold people to the same standards of good ethical fun, it's time we made everyone accountable for their own actions.

[slothinator]

Your toon is a gimp, I hate you, and I'm better than you.

Oh wait, you're talking about other people's behavior, not looking for it. My bad, carry on.

Wow, neg repped (my first one, yay!!!) for being smart @ss on the forums. Someone needs help removing a very big stick I see.

[Elaril]

Should I expect someone that hits an lfm that says "know it" or "byoh" to know what they are doing? I may be in the minority but when somone hits an lfm and decides to harass me by not meeting the requirements I do get upset.

It is wrong to curse someone out regardless of what they do!!! My only complaint is that everyone overlooks the harassment of "the poor pugger that dosen't know any better" inflicts by wasting time etc. If you want to hold people to the same standards of good ethical fun, it's time we made everyone accountable for their own actions.

This about sums it up and there is really no argument to the contrary. Read the LFM's before you join, including the user added comments and make sure you qualify before clicking to join. It is griefing, in a sense, to join without meeting the standards set forth by the leader, whatever they are.

A fictional example of this that won't touch on people's sympathies: Player A joins a Shroud LFM. Player A has no intention of actually running the raid, as he his on timer and instead views this group as his opportunity to trade for ingredients that he needs. Upon joining, Player A asks if anyone has any <insert shroud ingredient here> for trade/sale and tells the group that he is on his way from the twelve and asks that they not enter the quest before he gets there. Player A drops/runs to meridia, in the meantime the group enters the quest and waits for said player to re-join. Player A then rejoins and notices that everyone else is in the quest. Player A then requests that Player B, who was going to trade with him, exit the shroud to trade with him, as he is "on timer for another hour."

At this point, Player A should be kicked from the group for griefing as it has been revealed that he joined a group that he does not qualify for and, in all honesty, should be reported for harassment.

[Zachski]

I really think blame the victim mentality is a harmful aspect of our society that really needs to be addressed.

That said, the only time I post about players in game (anonymously, of course) is because it's entertaining or I'm venting about something, I don't expect anyone to do a single thing about it.

And to be fair, a lot of venting posts on various forums are treated like "Well what do you want US to do about it!?" to which I imagine the person thinks "Um... nothing? I was just venting?"

Then again, I come from a forum where if you haven't posted a venting post, you're probably a lurker, so your mileage may vary.

Generally, though, I'm not about to whine to the forums because Johnny B. decided that I am a stupid face because my bard doesn't have 18 starting CHA and max perform. Nah, I argue with them :3 lets me vent some anger and then at the end I can just /squelch them, provided I'm not addicted to the argument at the moment >>;

That being said, I haven't actually played with anyone who insulted me, just General Chat general crud. But being haughty towards other players (and especially me) is a good way to earn my ire, especially when you're incorrect

[phalaeo]

long story short, people are jerks. online gaming just lets you meet the jerks all over the world instead of local ones.

Yup

[Waylayer]

Personally, I think it is a great name for a guild ...

The only arrogant people I have encountered, have all been hirelings.

[rabbit512]

Personally, I think it is a great name for a guild ...

The only arrogant people I have encountered, have all been hirelings.

LOL! i love questing lower levels with buddies of mine, and we invariably bring hires (because.... pugging at lower levels doesn't really have much benefits in my opinion). we like to debate whose cleric is more rude.

[joneb1999]

...The only arrogant people I have encountered, have all been hirelings.

LOL! i love questing lower levels with buddies of mine, and we invariably bring hires (because.... pugging at lower levels doesn't really have much benefits in my opinion). we like to debate whose cleric is more rude.

Lol oh yeh. Hirelings often get huffy and just decide not to do anything and clerics are the worst when they just decide not to heal you. All this because they dont get their half hour lunch break. Bloody hireling unions.

[somenewnoob]

Lol oh yeh. Hirelings often get huffy and just decide not to do anything and clerics are the worst when they just decide not to heal you. All this because they dont get their half hour lunch break. Bloody hireling unions.

Oh how many times have I been screaming "BREVIN!! BREVIN!!! HEAL!!" and that short little arse hole just stands there with his arms crossed while I get beat down. I always remind him that after I'm dead they are coming after HIM next!

But he still just stands there with that little huffy stance of his.

[mournbladereigns]

"MMO's would be great if it weren't for all the people."

"DOn't hate the game, hate the player."

oh yeah, have fun or some shiz.

[Malison]

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO? Should they expect it? Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant? Why? Is it possibly because it is your time and maybe money thats being invested?

Is it so wrong to accept that this is just a game we all have the option to play or not, to pay for or not, and should never become personal enough to attack others? Is it wrong to believe that people have the right to play a game without harassment? If someone is playing badly or stupidly in your perception shouldn't you just learn from the experience with that person instead of flaming them or belittling them?

Do we have a right? No. That's a ridiculously misused word in most contexts.

What we have is the privilege to act however we want. Some actions can be regulated re: harrassment. But you do what you want and you live with the consequences. That's life.

Would it be nice if people were all good to each other? Absolutely. Do I expect it, especially in a video game? Not at all.

[Gremmlynn]

Um, not everybody gets along with everybody else. /Squelch and move on if you run into someone who's personality you find abrasive. Because some people simply speak their mind and don't sugar coat it as they could care less if another may think they are rude or mean. Everyone has the right to avoid anyone they want, what more do we need?

[leadhead]

The only time I remember somebody torquing me off in a video game was years ago I was playing WOW. Some kids on our server found out how to get on the roof of this farmhouse building (it has been so long, I cant even remember what region it was in.). It was an exploit, you weren't supposed to be up there but these kids figured it out and it also had the added benefit that they could snipe people walking on the nearby road while being invincible to returning fire.

I think the first time I strolled down that road, I got two shotted LOL! dead!...didnt even see who did it. So I revive and run down this road again, a little more cautious, I got the succubus out cause I thought I got back stabbed by an invisible rogue...I am going to get him this time! bang bang bang bang bang dead! LOL! Those little twerps, I saw them the second time and exchanged some words...but then when I thought about it, it was pretty **** funny (dude they thought it was hilarious!) Then I stayed out of range to laugh at other passerby's get two shotted and then get ****ed! They had whole huge groups of people trying to storm this building to kill them and they all died LOL!

I think the nerd rage got so bad though that those two kids got banned from the game.