Insults, aggression and arrogance

[joneb1999]

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO? Should they expect it? Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant? Why? Is it possibly because it is your time and maybe money thats being invested?

Is it so wrong to accept that this is just a game we all have the option to play or not, to pay for or not, and should never become personal enough to attack others? Is it wrong to believe that people have the right to play a game without harassment? If someone is playing badly or stupidly in your perception shouldn't you just learn from the experience with that person instead of flaming them or belittling them?

[Elaril]

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO? Should they expect it? Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant? Why? Is it possibly because it is your time and maybe money thats being invested?

Is it so wrong to accept that this is just a game we all have the option to play or not, to pay for or not, and should never become personal enough to attack others? Is it wrong to believe that people have the right to play a game without harassment? If someone is playing badly or stupidly in your perception shouldn't you just learn from the experience with that person instead of flaming them or belittling them?

Insults should never seriously be used, regardless of context. Busting a pal's stones is ok, but overtly insulting someone in a video game is ridiculous.

Aggression is a personality trait and, provided the behavior is not insulting is acceptable. This is just part and parcel with playing with others online.

Arrogance is a personality trait as well, however, it is generally harmless and I, for one, am quite partial to people who display it both founded and unfounded. Founded, because it is always fun to me to play with people who can back up what they say what they can do. And unfounded, because it is hilarous to watch.

[HallowedOne]

Many people think that the items they're wielding makes them powerful enough to act like a tyrant would do in real life - a sweet illusion of power that an online game can create.

But, unlike real life, words of your actions, especially the bad ones, will spread out like fire on dried leaves. They might soon started to get cornered and helpless in search for groups to play with.

But do we really have to cope with that? I think no, and the best thing is to /squelch and, unfortunately, remember them, so when we are on a position to make our own parties, or on another's, we can make sure we will have fun.

Afterall, this is only a game. It is supposed to be fun, isn't it?

[leadhead]

I personally am fairly easy going and am to lazy to criticize someone or give them a hard time about their doing something I find irritating.


On the flip side, if someone actually does something to you in game that actually gets under your skin that much...that is YOUR problem.

[Postumus]

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO? Should they expect it?

Are we just talking about Khyber? Or all servers?

[joneb1999]

Are we just talking about Khyber? Or all servers?

LoL. Actually this came to my mind especially after reading this thread http://forums.ddo.com/showthread.php?t=318657

[slothinator]

Your toon is a gimp, I hate you, and I'm better than you.

Oh wait, you're talking about other people's behavior, not looking for it. My bad, carry on.

[joneb1999]

I personally am fairly easy going and am to lazy to criticize someone or give them a hard time about their doing something I find irritating.


On the flip side, if someone actually does something to you in game that actually gets under your skin that much...that is YOUR problem.

What are you saying exactly? What I take from this is that you are saying its the victim thats at fault if they get upset? Just trying to clarify if Im correct in my assumption.

[protokon]

Insults should never seriously be used, regardless of context. Busting a pal's stones is ok, but overtly insulting someone in a video game is ridiculous.

Aggression is a personality trait and, provided the behavior is not insulting is acceptable. This is just part and parcel with playing with others online.

Arrogance is a personality trait as well, however, it is generally harmless and I, for one, am quite partial to people who display it both founded and unfounded. Founded, because it is always fun to me to play with people who can back up what they say what they can do. And unfounded, because it is hilarous to watch.

this.

long story short, people are jerks. online gaming just lets you meet the jerks all over the world instead of local ones.

I actually find it sad that people flinch and jump all over throwing an apology when they die in a quest, simply because my toon is a TR.

at least there is enough good people out there to offset running into the bad ones (talking about attitudes).

conversely, I also find people who get offended and defensive when trying to help them with build advice or playing advice in general, i.e. attack the caster first in a group of mobs, grab a heavy fort item, take toughness ect... Whether it is my fault for offering advice when it was not asked for, or their fault for being overly sensitive about constructive criticism, I do not know.

[sabremerc]

Should they expect it?

Unfortunately yes. If you haven't noticed across pretty much all online games common sense and common courtesy aren't so common. Possibly because we have a lot of immature people playing these games (both in age, and simply mindset).

Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant? Why? Is it possibly because it is your time and maybe money thats being invested?

Yep. Don't get me wrong, I don't agree with it - but the mindset of I pay(ed) for a game, I should be able to do what I want with it is pretty common.

Is it so wrong to accept that this is just a game we all have the option to play or not, to pay for or not, and should never become personal enough to attack others?

Unfortunately another problem with playing any game online - "your epeen isn't as big as mine, you NOOB." It's irritating, and definitely crosses the line sometimes - but people still just don't get it.

Is it wrong to believe that people have the right to play a game without harassment? If someone is playing badly or stupidly in your perception shouldn't you just learn from the experience with that person instead of flaming them or belittling them?

See the above. What should happen is people help those that are making mistakes out, and teach them better methods. Unfortunately there are the Ub3r 1337ists out there that are hard as bricks. The brick wall kind of resists change - it's gonna take something knocking it down before it can change. My personal opinion is that if they want to prove to themselves that they're the most important person they know by belittling someone in a game, honestly just sit back, roll your eyes and laugh. All they're proving to the rest of us is how pathetic they really are. Should we even care about the poorly written comments of a little kid? Sometimes it might be irritating, but try not to let yourself get worked up over it. The moment that little kid starts affecting your thoughts it's time for a reality check. Does it really matter?

The other problem is people's definitions of harassment sometimes vary. Verbal (or written) harassment - report them. As far as gameplay goes I played some full PvP MMOs where the crafter/industry types would say you were harassing them every time they came through specific unsecured areas. It wasn't - the game was built for that, however they didn't like being attacked every time they made the same mistake of leaving a secure area with lots of nice loot. On the other hand, if you have someone kiting huge groups of mobs over intentionally to kill you specifically...

Then again, maybe they just don't know any better. Maybe it's that 8 year old that still hasn't figured out it's better to ask what they need to do rather than just guess.

If it's verbal, raise a red flag. You can report people for harassment if needed. But ask yourself is it really harassment? I don't think a single "noob", or "learn how to play" thrown out there would really justify it.

Should people accept these bad attitudes as part of their experience in an online game like DDO?

In reality it will take a concerted effort to get rid of it. /squelch is a great start. Unfortunately, that will only help you, and once you use it they're just going to find some other poor sap to irritate. If somehow people like this started being excluded from the community... well, it's basically adapt or let their virtual life die. The question is what do you do about it? If people want this to change, they need to come up with solutions not questions.

[joneb1999]

Insults should never seriously be used, regardless of context. Busting a pal's stones is ok, but overtly insulting someone in a video game is ridiculous.

Aggression is a personality trait and, provided the behavior is not insulting is acceptable. This is just part and parcel with playing with others online.

Arrogance is a personality trait as well, however, it is generally harmless and I, for one, am quite partial to people who display it both founded and unfounded. Founded, because it is always fun to me to play with people who can back up what they say what they can do. And unfounded, because it is hilarous to watch.

I cant think of any way aggression can be conveyed without one or more of the following- threats, intimidating body language, insults, shouting or raising voice.

As for arrogance in my current opinion I suppose its innocent enough as long as it doesnt come with out and out belittling of others or commanding others as if you are there better though you may be a better player in regards to the game. Obviously if you are a military drill sergeant with a group of new recruits its appropriate then. Horses for courses.

[Zenako]

There are some people who do need to sent to the virtual chalkboard and forced to write 10,000 times...

It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
It's just a game.
etc

Life goes on, the game goes on and everyone at times needs a chill pill....

It is alright to take the game seriously. Many do. But even with that, It's just a game.

Many players spend many many hours working (ahem playing) to create powerful characters or items in the game and are proud of them. That is fine. But. It's just a game.

Cross over of real world emotions and feelings into a game world without real world checks and balances, is frought with peril. Just keep in mind. It's just a game.

[Krell]

For the most part, on-line gaming is communication without consequence. What would you say to your boss if there was no consequence? To that customer? To the person in front of you that is walking too slow? Except for extreme behavior that can get you banned, there is little incentive to behave properly other than your personal integrity and a sense of respect for your fellow man or woman.

[Kmnh]

... are the most fun part of playing games with my RL friends. I know many of my guildies feel the same. Grow a thicker screen.

[rabbit512]

in an ideal world: we all respect each other. we have disagreements, but we are able to convey those with dignity without stepping on the toes of those involved. we are proactive. we are helpful. we are patient. we forgive misgivings. if we get into a situation where someone or something is irritating us, we step back and realise that this is just a game and it should be given the same kind of discretion when choosing to engage (but rather diffuse) an aggressor.

in the real world*: people flip out for no reason, they don't listen when being told that the way that they are behaving is uncouth, they choose to be irritated by the first random thing they can think of. they bark. they harass. they NEVER forget a mistake - ever, because lol u r so dum and i r better. they don't care about logic, or respect, or even how they are being perceived. whatever you can do, they can do better. everyone is a 10/10 knockout supermodel with a 165 iq and two bmw's sitting in their 4 car garage. they can't separate what happens in the game from reality, and they tie their character's achievements to their self worth.

*this may seem a bit extreme, and in some cases it's meant to be an exaggeration. however, there ARE definitely people on the internet who DO act this way.

unfortunately, the internet has created such an environment where many people can exorcise their own life's pains by being an internet tough guy, or girl.

the happy medium:

- i realise that i cannot control anyone's behaviour, nor do i attempt to
- i realise that no one is perfect
- i maintain control over my own reactions; i may falter, but i do not resort to namecalling, flaming, etc
- i offer advice where i see that it could be helpful
- i respect other players, what they have earned, and their experiences
- when things go sour, i prefer solutions which are fair for the greatest amount of people
- ddo makes me happy to play it, and i am generally pleasant; if i'm in a horrible mood for some reason, i tend to stay off of the game until i've righted myself a bit
- i treat other players the way i hope to be treated

that last statement is what i expect. i don't always get it, but it's how i choose to behave, and hope that others see it sound.

my $0.02.

[Elaril]

I cant think of any way aggression can be conveyed without one or more of the following- threats, intimidating body language, insults, shouting or raising voice.

As for arrogance in my current opinion I suppose its innocent enough as long as it doesnt come with out and out belittling of others or commanding others as if you are there better though you may be a better player in regards to the game. Obviously if you are a military drill sergeant with a group of new recruits its appropriate then. Horses for courses.

One example of positive aggression is someone who takes the initiative to call out a party member who is behaving in an insulting or harassing manner to others. Many will not do this and quietly boot or sit in silence and come to the forums to complain.

[leadhead]

What are you saying exactly? What I take from this is that you are saying its the victim thats at fault if they get upset? Just trying to clarify if Im correct in my assumption.

More to the point you are specifically choosing to be the victim. and I dont mean you specifically, I am talking about people that allow themselves to get all bent out of shape by the childish mentality, antics, and griefing of teenagers and adults that have zero people skills in a VIDEO GAME! I cant think of a more apt sticks and stones lecture than that!

[Zorack00]

This is an online game, insults are bound to happen. If they don't, then you're either dreaming or lying to yourself.

This community is actually a lot better than the majority of games, probably from the smaller players base, I've had people rage at each other before the quest/match even starts. So I personally have had no problems with insults, arrogance, and whatnot within the game.

[transtemporal]

Do you believe you have the right to be insulting, aggressive or arrogant?

Of course not, but then, some people get butthurt with the mildest constructive criticism too.

[Gunga]

I haven't ever noticed any arrogance or bad attitude here. Just a bowl of cherries.