Dire Mouse Combat Log

[nat_1]

First, my apologies to the pug I flaked on. We hadn't started Irestone yet and I told them that had to enter combat with a mouse in the room and that they would probably have to boot me. I'm pretty sure from the glances at the chat before I timed out that they wiped on elite, so sorry about that one. I wanted to post this so maybe they would know I had a good reason.

I parsed the combat log from the battle last night. Much of the omitted material is me failing Spot and Search checks and attack rolls. This took over 90 minutes which makes it officially worse than Kobold Assault for XP/min. The enemy had Uncanny Dodge which let him take no damage on successful Reflex saves, of which there were many.

A Dire Mouse appears.
You fail a spot check.
…
Spot check by Wife (success!)
Wife alerts the party.
Dire Mouse uses Hide in Plain Sight
Wife retreats to the bedroom.
You equip Toy Butterfly Net.
You fail a spot check.
…
Spot check (success).
(Combat) Dire Mouse rolls to evade Butterfly Net. Success!
…
Wife equips Boots of Stomping
Wife returns to combat
Wife uses Mom Strength ability (Bulls Strength).
Wife equips Dining Room Table.
The dungeon exit is blocked! You cannot retreat from battle.
Dire Mouse uses Taunt
You are Taunted! -1 to attack rolls. From somewhere deep inside of you comes a low muttering of curses.
You equip Garb Sword.
(Combat) Miss!
Dire Mouse uses Flip the Bird (Improved Taunt).
You are Taunted. You are no longer able to apply your Intelligence or Wisdom modifiers to attack rolls.
…
You equip Flashlight
Dire Mouse stares at Flashlight. Dire Mouse is affected as the Hypnotize Animal spell.
(Combat) Hit! Dire Mouse uses Uncanny Dodge to reduce the damage by half. You hit Dire Mouse for (1) piercing damage.
Dire Mouse is bleeding!
Dire Mouse uses Squeal!
Wife uses Encouragement (Bard Song) You gain +2 morale bonus to damage and Charisma rolls.
Dire Mouse enters a Blood Rage! Dire Mouse gains +3 temporary hit points, the Abundant Step feat and a bonus to dodge as the Displacement spell.
(Combat) Miss!
Dire Mouse uses Hide in Plain Sight
You fail a Search check.
…
Dire Mouse’s Blood Rage ends. Dire Mouse is fatigued.
You equip Rattan Polearm.
Wife uses Boots of Stomping
Search check (success)
(Combat) Hit! You hit Dire Mouse for 3 bludgeoning damage! Squishy Body class feat reduces the damage to 0.
(Combat) Hit! You hit Dire Mouse for 2 bludgeoning damage! Squishy Body class feat reduces the damage to 0.
Dire Mouse uses Pretend Yawn (Greater Taunt)
You are Taunted! You are unable to cast spells with a verbal component as the curses will not stop issuing from your mouth. Surrounding furniture takes glancing damage.
(Combat) Hit! You hit Dire Mouse for 4 bludgeoning damage! Squishy Body class feat reduces the damage to 0.
(Combat) Hit! You hit Dire Mouse for 5 bludgeoning damage! Squishy Body class feat reduces the damage to 1.
(Combat) Dire Mouse fails a Fortitude save for Stunning Blow
Dire Mouse is Flat Footed. Dexterity bonus to dodge and Uncanny Dodge cannot be used.
You equip Garb Sword
(Combat) Hit! You hit Dire Mouse for 12 piercing damage.
You have defeated Dire Mouse.

Lore check (success)
A successful Lore check reveals your Garb Sword is actually Whisker Bane.

Congratulations! You have advanced a level!
Ranger:
Class Feat: Favored Enemy: Vermin
Warning! You have chosen a class which requires a Wisdom score of 11 to cast spells. You will be unable to access the spells for this class.
Spot +1
Search +1

You fail a Diplomacy check. Wife makes you clean up the room.

[stainer]

This is the best post I have ever read. +1

[Canopenner]

I like this too.

:^)

Very nice.

My wife hated this game.

[cpito]

lmao!

[Memnir]

This is the best post I have ever read. +1

It certainly ranks in the top 5.

Awesome, and +1 as well.

[SableShadow]

What dropped?

[unknownturok]

+1 lol

[Cap_Man]

Wife equips Dining Room Table.

She equips a what?!?!?!?

Did you get any pictures? lol

[rimble]

Dude, that mouse whisker is the last piece I need to craft! What?! You're just passing it to your wife and not putting it up for roll?! *RAAAAGGGE*

[Lifeblood]

I normally don't rep for funny but you were creative also +1

[Kaeldur]

What dungeon are you crawling? I'm still too low level for Dire Mice, still hunting Cockroaches and Spiders...
Someday I'll be as awesome as you, sir!

[cdbd3rd]

She equips a what?!?!?!?

Did you get any pictures? lol

ROFL!!

Beat me to asking for screenies!

/Adds extra Greenis love to OP.

[Terebinthia]

For spiders you need a Greatbroom.

OP, you forgot your Cast Envelopment (Teatowel). Works like a charm.

[Wizzly_Bear]

SS or it didn't happen

Very funny OP! Get any loot?

[HAL]

THIS IS HYSTERICAL! What made it all the better was the really authentic use of game terminology. Had a hard time not LOLing at work

[Eladiun]

Lol

[nat_1]

She equips a what?!?!?!?

Did you get any pictures? lol

I forgot a SS, but it looked pretty much like you would expect. Once the mouse was in our kids' toys it was like she ignored her size class. Was I going to tell my Diminutive Wife that she was lifting the table as if she was Gargantuan? Even with my Wisdom score I knew that would be a bad idea.

SS or it didn't happen

Very funny OP! Get any loot?

There is a tiny chest but I have no ranks in Open Lock (you know a rogue hireling would really help here, just saying). I'll SS the chest and the sword after work.

[BurnerD]

awesome....

[Wizzly_Bear]

THIS IS HYSTERICAL! What made it all the better was the really authentic use of game terminology. Had a hard time not LOLing at work

Shoot, that's nothing! This was my reading material after lunch. I kept choking back laughs while in the can. If I was the guy in the next stall I would have been worried

[Der_Incubo]

I find that a +5 pellet gun works wonders for taking them out.

Tried a +5 bb gun, but after a few times i realized the sound i was hearing was the bb's ricocheting back at my face.