Dear Turbine

[Kalari]

^_^ bored a little sun burned and loving satire Ive claimed this section of off topic for my new installment series Dear Turbine. Here is a letter submitted by one of my random personalities (hey some people find multiple personalities sexy and no the voices in my head didn't just tell me to type that.) Either way here is a letter I feel lets the developers know just how the forum player base feels about everything. Enjoy

Dear Turbine,

I am a very unhappy (insert class here) With your latest update you have both broken me while boosting some gimpy other players!!! This is a serious breech of what I am assuming are tons of gaming laws and you can be expected to hear from a lawyer on behalf of everyone you have emotionally damaged from this. This game is to hard puzzles hurt my mind if you put in puzzles how am I supposed to pad my kill count. Oh no you didnt allow wizards and sorcerors to kill in epics now you'd better give me a option to show how my melee combo can out dps everyone Rawr! Opps my apology for rawring but I am just so fired up at your sweeping changes. Epics are too hard for me to solo on my melee please change it now. Epics are too easy on my caster please make it where after one spell my mouth binds and I cannot cast for at least another half hour. Can't you not see it? I am asking for balance. I want the game to be fair to my playstyle that way everyone can benefit from my awesomeness. In fact stop trying to make everyone feel strong at level 20 and only focus on (insert class here) sure there will be whining but there is always whining just pick a favorite (insert class here) and make it a golden project that can kill anything in epics, while keeping stuff tough because I dont want things too easy just a little bit easier. Give the class all the damaging power but no complete insta kill because then i'll grow bored. Give me all the uber loots when I need them to drop but make it where I have to climb threw a turning puzzle room that shoots lazer and freeze rays at me. I hope someone reading this is writting down all my golden gem ideas.

In closing I may not have ever worked on, or developed a game in my life, may have never even really played a lot of them but I know how to run your company. I know exactly how much time you put into every project and I know you can do much more for me..err other players. So remember read my ideas put them to task and you will make ddo the bestest MMO out there.

Love

You gimped me/made the game to easy leet player


































*Disclaimer: The author of this thread thinks shes amusing, it is safe to either agree with her back away slowly or run away screaming, she is mad as a hatter that is all...

[Captain_Wizbang]

She's back!

[Myrddinman]

I would +1 you, but...

a) I must spread it around some more
b) You have it turned off

Anyhoo...well done!

[Kalari]

Hehe thanks guys my sarcasm meter was going into over load reading the boards. And dont worry about rep I stopped caring about it a long time ago so I just dont participate I write just to get it out my system and maybe make some people chuckle

[flynnjsw]

*Disclaimer: The author of this thread thinks shes amusing, it is safe to either agree with her back away slowly or run away screaming, she is mad as a hatter that is all...

This should be your sig...:P

[Kalari]

Dear Turbine,

I am angry at your forum and your forum posterers how dare they disagree with my opinions that I state as facts. How dare they tell me my ideas are not good for the game, I have programed art sprites for rpgmaker for over 15 years I think that gives me valid insight on how well your developers time frame and goals work. In fact I can tell you right now my idea for a 1,000 man pvp brawl type explorer dungeon mega zone would work. Give it away for free to bring in more people like me who will fill your game with ideas. But please please hire more moderators to tell me im right and punish anyone who doesn't /sign my ideas. In fact I would love a rule change to where if people do not give me the proper reason to disagree with me to get infractions. I mean there is so many ways a person can say no to an idea and if they cannot guess the way I wish them to be against my thoughts then they should not be allowed to post evah!

In closing I am only trying to make the forums more enjoyable by filling it with people who think like me and love all my ideas. This will bring in more players like me who will bring in golden ideas. Please implement this soon kthanksbai.

Love,

wounded forum poster.

[LoveNeverFails]

Kalari. you have often made me giggle on the servers I'm going to hunt you down in game and make you make me giggle until i can't see straight.

kthnxbai

[Kalari]

Kalari. you have often made me giggle on the servers I'm going to hunt you down in game and make you make me giggle until i can't see straight.

kthnxbai

hehe I look forward to ya finding me I am a bit off the wall though

[LoveNeverFails]

hehe I look forward to ya finding me I am a bit off the wall though

same. -nods- I've heard rumors about your guilds drunken raid runs... they interest me... -nod- lol