Top 10 Ways to Save Time in DDO

[Llewndyn]

Top 10 Ways to Save Time in DDO

Ah, that's the spot. Yep, good...how about a happy en- Oh, hi all! Llewndyn here, at my weekly massage therapy session at Helga's Massage Auto Body Repair Shop, with a great and fabulous top 10 list!

It happens to all of us: You log into the game, ready to spend a few hours standing by the vendor or offering insights as to why your dual shield wielding halfling monk/fighter/wizard is not a mock-worthy bastion of gimpitude to any that will listen or have not learned to squelch you yet, when it happens: That tell from someone you may or may not remember saying "O Llewndyn, with your pink beard of Righteousness guiding us through the dark times, folly of Aussircaex's doom, slayer of that one kobold that one time in Kobold assault before the other one killed you, please bestow your greatness upon us wretched masses, lend us that golden chunky chowder that hath healeth us so verily!" At least those are the tells I get.

You get them in missions, you get them while zoning, you get them while trying to buy masterwork rapiers, it can become harrowing. Fear not! For I am here to help you. Today's list is the top 10 ways to ensure no one bothers you with tells asking you along on missions after pugging with them, time tested by my crack team of sons with gimped builds!

10. Join a group as a solo healer, claim you have to do something "real quick" and go afk at a spawn point, requiring someone to guard you. Bonus points if you do that in friggin Chronoscope at level.

9. Say you are built for battle, then pass out buffs only to yourself. Only works if they are great buffs. Works even better if after giving yourself FOM, GH, Haste and all that if you rejoin group and cast merfolk's blessing

8. Respond to every question with a link to an "uber" item:
Player: Hey Llew can you pass me a heal? I am incapped right next to you.
Llewndyn: +1 Ghost Touch Light Mace of Grease

7. Ask for spells you know no one has, as someone did in an at level Depths mission last night: Orc:"Hey res me! I'm dying you moron!" Level 4 cleric: "Um....I don't have res scrolls" Orc: "What a gimp!" /ragequit

6. Die numerous times and then complain that the mission is taking so long: Last night my son was running Tempest Spine on his level 13 halfling wizard (who wears a full plate and wields a +1 Quarterstaff usually, and NOTHING else. 108 HP FTW!)My son = M -
P1: OK M where are you dead at?
M: Res me!
P2: We need to know where you are bud
M: Jeez this is taking forever!
P1: OK I am almost out of SP simply from ressing you, tell me where you are or I am leaving you.
M: Cry me a river!

Not sure why but that last line made me LOL. (Epilogue, I sent P1 some plat to cover the pots I saw him chuggin to keep my kid up and running)

5. Join an LFG asking for heals then claim you are a battle cleric and do not have heal spells (seriously)

4. Ask if your guildy who is 11 levels higher than the mission can come along when the LFG said "for xp". Complain that he would make the mission easier and then ragequit for extra class

3. inform the group that you don't carry pots because "That's the healer's job" in a VoN 5 run (be from a large guild like that particular player for extra pizzazz)

H*. Tell the group you are permadeath, go in and die immediately, then ask for a res.

2. Put up an LFG for Arachnaphobia (I will have an SS later today)

...and the number 1 reason to save time on DDO -

1. Join a "BYOH, Be Self Sufficient, No hand holding, zerg, be flagged" LFG and send the following in party chat:

SHR PLZ WRH is Mishun I'm PVP rite now brt when I-" *ding*

or even better:

Put up said LFG then ask the party how to get to the mission in between PVP deaths.


Until next time, zip it up and pop it to lock it!

[THAC0]

o.O

Note to self, keep the coffee away from Llewndyn...

[Impaqt]

Actual way to save time:

Relocate to Thelanis



+1

[Llewndyn]

I swear I just did all that stuff for TESTING! Don't kick me out of the guild!

[THAC0]

I swear I just did all that stuff for TESTING! Don't kick me out of the guild!

lol

[shadowsaun]

"2. Put up an LFG for Arachnaphobia (I will have an SS later today)"

umm...I actually did this in my first week of playing...oh the tells I got!

[Pewf]

6. Die numerous times and then complain that the mission is taking so long: Last night my son was running Tempest Spine on his level 13 halfling wizard (who wears a full plate and wields a +1 Quarterstaff usually, and NOTHING else. 108 HP FTW!)My son = M -
P1: OK M where are you dead at?
M: Res me!
P2: We need to know where you are bud
M: Jeez this is taking forever!
P1: OK I am almost out of SP simply from ressing you, tell me where you are or I am leaving you.
M: Cry me a river!

Not sure why but that last line made me LOL. (Epilogue, I sent P1 some plat to cover the pots I saw him chuggin to keep my kid up and running)

I think I may have ran into your son a few times.
Something Mike?

[Llewndyn]

I think I may have ran into your son a few times.
Something Mike?

You are correct! I decided to run him through Necro 4 last night, and he is so used to playing his gimped build he outlived me out there. I have 40 AC, 250 hp, heavy fort and a +4 Holy longsword of bleeding, and that little.....person outlived me by setting a WoF and disappearing, getting all the agro on me. Add in a small lag spike along with nowhere to jump out (I was surrounded) and I died. I heard him in the other room giggling and died a little on the inside.

[Pewf]

You are correct! I decided to run him through Necro 4 last night, and he is so used to playing his gimped build he outlived me out there. I have 40 AC, 250 hp, heavy fort and a +4 Holy longsword of bleeding, and that little.....person outlived me by setting a WoF and disappearing, getting all the agro on me. Add in a small lag spike along with nowhere to jump out (I was surrounded) and I died. I heard him in the other room giggling and died a little on the inside.

Awwwe. Sounds hilarious! We all have our bad days! lol.
I think I ran with him during VON and threw him a few raises... Other than that haven't really seen him.

[THAC0]

...you know... I still need to do the Necro series... if you want some company. Been avoiding them, but need to do them for the favor. I promise I won't /ragequit :P

[Llewndyn]

Disclaimer though: I have never led through the water mission in necro 2. And to be honest, since I was on Araknia most of the time I was too far behind the group to be of any use. On Llew though you got a deal Thacmeister Flexxx!

[dragonmane]

I play with my daughter(10 yrs old) and she is a cleric, 28pt and well, she made her. She is gimped, but she wields a greataxe and she fights. I pugged with her for the first time this week, she is a level 9 cleric. Everyone in the group was told that she is more a battle cleric then a real cleric. For some reason a noob kept yelling at her to heal him and I ended up having to talk to her and tell her that she need not heal the idiot. Of course he trys to send her a tell and I taught my daughter how to squelch people. In the end we finished the quest and she looked at me and was laughing and said "Lets do that again". OMG really???? No way lol. That just about killed me, but she had fun with other people. Now she is asking to go again, maybe this weekend.

[Llewndyn]

she's a cleric? We should have her group with both of my sons: The wizard with 0 fort wearing a full plate or my older son who is a bard who does not buff, sing, heal, or really fight all that much. He likes to log on and then link items until he is one shotted. He has so far backpack ridden his way to level 7, I am trying to get him spellsinger so people will (against their better inclinations) still invite him.

My favorite story of ALL time as it pertains to the current subject is both of my boys got accepted to a run with 2 guildies (they didn't know who they were, heard guildies talking about it later) and my wiz cast grease and almost wiped the party. The guildy, not knowing it's just a kid (although in retrospect seeing a wizard in full plate armor and wielding a quarterstaff shoulda tipped him off) was like "WT*?!" and got the response "cry cry cry" from my son. They then made the mistake of asking the bard for a song and while trying to click the button he somehow managed to run off the hill and into a pit of lava. This was shortly after I joined Blackmoor, and I knew I had made the right decision when they thought is was more hilarious that I knew both of them but that my kid had insulted them