I now have a level 15 paladin and started a 32pt build like this:
STR: 16
INT: 11
DEX: 11
CON: 14
WIS: 8
CHA: 16
I have +6 items for str, con and cha and +5 dex item (spectral gloves. Got +2 supreme tome at level 7
At 15 I have the following stats:
STR: 28
INT: 13 (so I could get combat expertise)
DEX:18
CON: 22
WIS: 16
CHA: 26
All attribute increases to str. At level 20 I will get STR: 30, CHA: 28 and have Divine Might 3 plus the capstone.
Build is defender of Siberys and I have a +5 mithral full plate and a +5 mithral tower shield. Using greatsword as main weapon, but khopesh if I need AC.
At level 15 I have 299 spell points with a trinket giving me +50 sp. It's swapped after buffs to the scarab reward from Necro 3 (undead guard etc.). I think 300 sp is more than enough to cast buffs and other spells.
STR 30, CHA 28 is on par with what many other good paladin builds are aiming for.
Initially I also thought I needed decent wis and started with 12. When update 7 came I respecced everything to fine tune stats and skills. Intimidate is now finally a class skill so I finally have enough points to maximize skills for intimidate, balance, jump and use magic device. Initially I put skills in diplomacy, but that's rarely needed. I need intimidate instead to get aggro. So wasting skill points in diplomacy is not a good idea. Yesterday I played one of the new quests where I needed diplomacy. Bought a +13 diplomacy ring for 2k and it got to 21 because of my cha modifier. That's more than enough.
So you can't use your experience from your D&D games like NWN to build your DDO characters. 8 wis is definitely possible in DDO. If your paladin could only cast spells based upon the base stat and not the items then you need 12 wis to cast level 4 spells (if you have a +2 wis tome as well). THEN an 8 wis build would have been stupid.
DDO is all about upping your DPS if you're a melee character like a paladin. So getting STR to 30+ should be in most paladin builds. That gives +10 to hit and damage and it means you can fight with power attack on almost all the time and still hit. Damage will be very good as well. Combined with DM 3 you get +6 more damage. Many skills are str based and +10 to all skills is nice.
CHA is the second most important stat. I will end up with cha 28 that gives me +9 to all saves, 20 * 9 = 180 hp per lay on hands and decent turns. Maybe skills are cha based so +9 to those skills definitely help.
Decent CON is also a must for most characters. I try to start every character (regardless of class) with con 14 to get +2 hp per level. Toughness as a feat plus several toughness enhancements are needed to get enough hp's. It's at least as important for wizards as for fighters.
You don't need a very high dex as a paladin because it's a limit to the dex bonus you can use when using full plate. My build is defender of Siberys so I can get more dex bonuses from tower shields. Since I have mithral armor and shield I can use dex 18 or more to bump the AC.
Int 11 at start is needed to get int 13 for combat expertise (+5 armor when activated).
With all these restrictions to your build you simply have to use wis as a dump stat. The alternative is dex, but you need it more than the extra sp's and will save from higher wis