The Best D&D Jokes Thread.. Make me laugh, I dares ya!

[LeslieWest_GuitarGod]

Got to find one of these for Mississippee!

[LeslieWest_GuitarGod]

What do you call a bard with no hands?

No holds Bard

[LeslieWest_GuitarGod]

An Elven Cleric somehow gets separated from his party deep inside a cave.

Turning around a dark corner, he bumps into a fairly good sized black dragon. Frightened out of his wits, he drops to his knees and starts praying. Oddly, the dragon does the same. The cleric leaps up, dancing, shouting "I'm saved!" The dragon tilts his head and says, "No, you don't understand...I'm saying Grace."

[LeslieWest_GuitarGod]

The fighter, rogue, cleric, and wizard are battling a lot of ghouls.

The fighter does his best in the midst of them hoping his high AC keeps him healthy. The rogue can't sneak attack so pings away with a bow from afar. The cleric joins the fighter battling the ghouls after spending three rounds casting Divine Favor, Bull's Strength, and Protection From Evil on himself. The wizard casts Web hoping to hold off some of the ghouls, a Flaming Sphere to help the fighter with hit point attrition, and uses a scroll of Mirror Image for defense. It's a tough battle lasting several rounds. The cleric heals himself a bit. The wizard eventually has to resort to Magic Missile and even firing a crossbow. At last the final ghoul drops to the fighter's blade, but too late, that ghoul had already killed the cleric. After the party drinks several potions of healing and a few rounds after that, they get ready for battle again as the cleric's corpse rises as a ghoul. The rogue exclaims, "Oh so now he turns undead!"

[Saekee]

The fighter, rogue, cleric, and wizard are battling a lot of ghouls.

The fighter does his best in the midst of them hoping his high AC keeps him healthy. The rogue can't sneak attack so pings away with a bow from afar. The cleric joins the fighter battling the ghouls after spending three rounds casting Divine Favor, Bull's Strength, and Protection From Evil on himself. The wizard casts Web hoping to hold off some of the ghouls, a Flaming Sphere to help the fighter with hit point attrition, and uses a scroll of Mirror Image for defense. It's a tough battle lasting several rounds. The cleric heals himself a bit. The wizard eventually has to resort to Magic Missile and even firing a crossbow. At last the final ghoul drops to the fighter's blade, but too late, that ghoul had already killed the cleric. After the party drinks several potions of healing and a few rounds after that, they get ready for battle again as the cleric's corpse rises as a ghoul. The rogue exclaims, "Oh so now he turns undead!"

hah good one!

btw a flaming sphere will destroy the web spell's effects

[Loromir]

How do you get a Dwarf to climb up on the roof. Tell him "the ale is on the house".