Manners

[Amoneth]

I realise I'm probably going to get absolutely SLATED for this but stuff it, I need to vent.

I'll start by saying that I know a few Americans in real life and they are all very polite (more so than me) so this is definitely not an attack on Americans, more an observation about a few people on the server compared to my experience in the Eu.

I know I'm probably being soft because I'm used to better manners but crikey there are so many people out there that leave a group without saying a word, not even 'ty bb' or even 'bb' if they haven't had a good time.

Then there's the 'Yes I want that item', no 'pls', 'ty' or anything.

And in all the years I've played, I've never been kicked from a group for saying 'Thanks for the group, cya' but it's happened to me twice in one week here. I mean, is it really necessary to save those few seconds between me saying I'm leaving to allowing people to say goodbye before I go?

*Hides behind a big WF before the flames come her way*

P.S. It's not all bad by any means, I've met some very nice people over here

[TEcarson]

So all of the ppl that have booted you are Americans?

I have been playing about a year now, and I have grouped with folks from all over the world. Some type and say that they don't have great English skills, and some even have it in their Bio.

That works for me, it just tells me there won't be a lot of communication and the quest might go a bit slower due to typing.

Some folks leave without a word, and some stick around for a back and forth "thanks, bye".

Different strokes for different folks. Just sayin'...

BTW, I let folks leave on their own...I don't boot them at the end of the quest. So if we group I won't boot you while you're saying goodbye.

I see you added the PS while I was typing...and I agree 100%.

[Akrilus]

You Sir/Madam (OP) have earned a +1 and a +1 and even another +1 for your post /SIGNED!!!!

is it really that hard to say "TYVM for the group......."

whether it went bad or good?

[Impaqt]

Welcome to a server is conservatively 25 times the population of the EU Servers.

You will find the longer you are around and the more you get to know folks, you'll find there is just as much plesantries here as there were over there, unfortunatly, due to the F2P nature of the game, we get a high volume of jerks too.

[RoboVanguard]

It generally depends on the group, sometimes I say it, sometimes it slips my mind. I generally say something though, and if I don't it's just me being absentminded =\. The exception I think is for pug raids, where everyone generally drops group the instant we get out.

[Amoneth]

So all of the ppl that have booted you are Americans?

Although they were both American, they were also both men, could have been both FtP, both young-uns, etc. What I mean is, I'm not saying there is one kind of person, just that there is a difference between the two servers. I only really specified that it wasn't 'anti-American' because I didn't want to come across as prejudice by comparing the Eu to a US server.

[petegunn]

I've been playing here since 2008 and to be honest, i've had more of a welcome than what I ever recieved on ddo Europa thats playing both Lyrandir and Aureon.

If you set high expectations you leave yourself open to disappointment.

[Srozbun]

I always make it a point to thank a group for any runs/raids unless it was very unpleasant for me (put 90% of the time it's not). Most people I encounter also do this I believe. Usually when groups go smoothly and exp is flowing nicely I find people are more amiable when they leave. A few times though people just drop group promptly as soon as they complete the quest. Makes me feel kind of used when that happens but nothing you can do about it. Just move on.

[TEcarson]

Although they were both American, they were also both men, could have been both FtP, both young-uns, etc. What I mean is, I'm not saying there is one kind of person, just that there is a difference between the two servers. I only really specified that it wasn't 'anti-American' because I didn't want to come across as prejudice by comparing the Eu to a US server.

I understand. Thanks for the reply.

BTW, I totally agree with you...it doesn't take that long for a group to break after running, so letting folks say "thanks" and "so long" isn't that big of a deal.

I would much rather run with polite folks than the opposite.

+1 to you.

[Waukeen]

Pugging thelanis is what it is...

I say hello to folks if I know em by name or guild I bump into often, but other than that a quiet sense of detachment is the reason why I PuG.

the boot thing is rude,

but I often drop when out of a quest/raid and hop into something else.

I do say thx via chat or voice if things went well, but often do not wait long for the sendoffs

want more pleasantries, join a guild that suits the sense of comrade-ness you seek.

[soloman]

Looks like they are trying to dump you before you dump them.....must be women

[fuzzy1guy]

Empty meaningless words are still empty and meaningless no matter how much you repeat them... :P

The truth would be considered rude...

"Hey i've never seen you before. I didn't much like grouping with you. You may be the most clueless person i've ever met. This group was terrible. I hate you personally. And i'll most likely never see you again ever."


And for friends and aquaintences for whom none of that is true... Plesantries of manners are rather silly and not needed anymore.... unless your friends are all seriously uptight mommy types i suppose.. which goes back to the above...


catch 22.

[Ssmooth]

If I'm leaving a group after a quest, I always try to say or type, "Thanks for the group." I very rarely leave without saying something to that effect.

[jdawg70]

okay, here goes do you say goodbye to everyone in the pub (whom you've been drinking with)?

Maybe the ones with in which conversation has taken place, but not everyone.

Maybe they want to say goodbye, but have squelched you because you are a chatty cathy eh?

But I agree, more manners the better...so I say Hi welcome and Bye Thank you!

[Asketes]

Welcome to a server is conservatively 25 times the population of the EU Servers.

You will find the longer you are around and the more you get to know folks, you'll find there is just as much plesantries here as there were over there, unfortunatly, due to the F2P nature of the game, we get a high volume of jerks too.

could not have said it better.

[Buggss]

Hi Khell,

Nice to see you're settling in.

My experience over here is that the place tends to act like taking a day trip from a small town where you live to a big city. You seem to experience bigger varieties of people rather than a general worsening of attitudes. You find very polite people and you find extremely rude people. It looks like you've been unlucky to have a bad sampling so far which is unfortunate.

My suggestions would be to do your best to group with acquaintences (sp?) first (obvious I know) and when pugging I've found asking a couple of questions as soon as I join generally gives you a very good impression of what the group's going to be like. If you get a rude answer then jump ship there and then, if you get a helpful answer hope for the best and stick it through. Not talking about "Share please1!" of course but something that's going to require some kind of answer.

Just a little titbit, hope it helps.

Cya round

Bugz

[Nouda_EU]

Hey Kell hon!

Pugging can be tough on f2p usually I can only stand it for a short time

You look out for groups to join with people you recognise to save hassle join some chat channels!

Remember the eu severs were small and ofc when they were fuller you quested only in guild groups you will not remember the harsh realities of pugs!

argh hang over cant remeber why i started to post

Ahh yeah

Look up the euro channels, pm me if you don't have any i have 6/7 now. My guildies and I are often leveling new alts and they pug alot! (scarey people).

and also Hiya! your not going to pay to have your 2 accounts transferred two thelanis are you?! I think you might be giving me a run for money on my 24 toons!

anyway have a lot of fun I know there are plenty of names around two welcome you

[Amoneth]

If I'm out with a small group of people, yes I say goodbye, generally to the group, not individually but I wasn't talking about that here either, it's not the Waltons!

No I'm not a 'chatty Kathy', I haven't spoken on VC for a long time and I don't usually type much jibberish either.

I'm already in a great guild (woohoo for Erebus!) but they can't group with me 24/7 because I'm only ickle and they want to raid sometimes.

Hey Buggs, hey Noudy! Well, I definitely won't be paying them $800 to transfer my toons!!!

[Sonofmoradin]

I simply like it alot more here, more of the pleasantries in EU servers were hypocricy. I like it leaving a group without saying anything, because then i really did not have anything to say to them in the first place. ( when the quest is done.)

Generally i get along very good with american people simply because if they have to say something they will tell you in your face right away, rather than say Hello my friend and behind your back say exactly the opposite.

On your point though, Thelanis has 20 times more population than both europe servers on their peak years. Its all natural to me: When the community is small, everyone knows each other and exchange pleasantries because everyone is connected in a more intimate way like living in a village. However when you move to the city, its all jungle and chaos.

[petegunn]

Pugging thelanis is what it is...

I say hello to folks if I know em by name or guild I bump into often, but other than that a quiet sense of detachment is the reason why I PuG.

the boot thing is rude,

but I often drop when out of a quest/raid and hop into something else.

I do say thx via chat or voice if things went well, but often do not wait long for the sendoffs

want more pleasantries, join a guild that suits the sense of comrade-ness you seek.

Would you like Khell to join two kings Sladdi? Two kings one queen has a certain ring to it. I like it, in fact I like it a lot big fella.