"Friends" list

[TeldinTabath]

Hi everyone,

For some context, I leveled a toon to level 20 through PuGs. As of this post, I am still the only level 20 character in my guild, but people are catching up, so I will be able to join Guild runs on my Main soon. However, when I was leveling Teldin, I had no choice but to PuG.

I have been level 20 for a while now, and still PuG all the time. In all my adventuring, there are only 2 people who have made my "friends" list. Since sarcasm may not be apparent in a post, I will not group with those two ever again. The amount of disrespect they displayed for other party members was past what I considered acceptable, and I feel my life is better with never hearing any of their texts again.

That being said, what is the procedure for leaving a group if they should join? Obviously, if I see a LFM with one of them in it, I don't apply. But what if I'm in a raid group, been waiting a while, and they join that group? People tend to notice when a healer drops group. Leaving without telling anyone why seems very rude, and announcing the reason why in party chat is a little too "dramatic" for my taste. Is it best to send the raid leader a tell explaining why and then leaving?

Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

[Khimberlhyte]

That being said, what is the procedure for leaving a group if they should join?

Right click on your name in the party list, and select "leave party". Alternatively, you can type " /party leave ".

Sending a tell to the leader would be polite before dropping - give them the choice. If the person is bad enough they will have a reputation already, and you have to avoid creating a bad reputation for yourself too. I remember a thread on the cleric forums a few months ago about someone who dropped in the same situation you have. They dropped and got sent a tell by the leader of the party asking why they dropped. From what I remember, the obnoxious person got booted, and the cleric re-invited.

There's some good ideas here too. I like the one about hitting R, keep running into a wall, and disconnecting, although you would be best to wait a while before logging back in on another character.

[yodino]

Haha, hey Teldin. I believe I'm acquainted with the 2nd person who made your friends list. He made my friends list too.

Anyways, I see nothing wrong with sending a tell to the leader and explaining why he did what he did. Usually it's easier to find another melee than to find a healer, so you already got 1 up on him there.

[Bloodstealer]

Hi everyone,

For some context, I leveled a toon to level 20 through PuGs. As of this post, I am still the only level 20 character in my guild, but people are catching up, so I will be able to join Guild runs on my Main soon. However, when I was leveling Teldin, I had no choice but to PuG.

I have been level 20 for a while now, and still PuG all the time. In all my adventuring, there are only 2 people who have made my "friends" list. Since sarcasm may not be apparent in a post, I will not group with those two ever again. The amount of disrespect they displayed for other party members was past what I considered acceptable, and I feel my life is better with never hearing any of their texts again.

That being said, what is the procedure for leaving a group if they should join? Obviously, if I see a LFM with one of them in it, I don't apply. But what if I'm in a raid group, been waiting a while, and they join that group? People tend to notice when a healer drops group. Leaving without telling anyone why seems very rude, and announcing the reason why in party chat is a little too "dramatic" for my taste. Is it best to send the raid leader a tell explaining why and then leaving?

Any help with this would be greatly appreciated.

Ok I see that players have given you some sound advice - send polite tell to leader is a good course of action to follow before leaving grp.

However you may just want to consider right clicking the idiots you have taken a dislike to and just squelch them so that you do not have to listen or see anything concerning the individual(s). -

Leaving a grp only adds to the grp frustrations of having to wait a little longer - imagine if that person was the last member of your raid thats been waiting for 30mins to get going, then you leave cos its someone you dislike in game (yes it happens i know) and it so happens your the cleric that they have taken a while to recrit but now they gotta wait on some more.
I say best action is to put them on ignore and get on with the raid then leave... i am sure the raid leader would be grateful for you overlooking the issue in favor of helping the team out.

[TrinityTurtle]

I guess it depends on how strongly you feel about it. My freinds list is also a reminder to me of who I do not want to play with again, and I check it before entering a group or accepting a join request to my group, but I tend to suck it up and deal when someone joins after I'd made already joined a group, and just ignore them as best I can. : ) I figure I'll leave the group after the quest I'd asked to join the group to do, and forget them.

But if being in the group with them sucks all the life out of your, then by all means get away. People tend to forget some basic facts I think.

1) This is a game, it should be fun. And just as you wouldn't play a board game in person with someone you despise, there is not reason to have to play a virtual game with someone you despise. Be honest to your party leader with a polite "I'm sorry, I can't play with x person, we don't get one, good luck to" or something and just go and find some fun. Plenty of other players out here, and lots of quest to do! If your'e not having any fun, you've already lost.

2) There are more than 6 billion people on the planet. Mathematically it is impossible for all those people to have personalities that will get on with everyone else. It's okay to not like people as your personality dictates, just try to be civil about. Manners were not invented to make us all like each other, they were invented to allow us graceful exits and survive encounters with people we don't care for without it getting unnecessarily ugly.

[Crazyfruit]

My "friends" list is for friends.

Why not squelch the people who you dislike that much instead?

Otherwise they'll continue to annoy you every time they log in & remiind you of bad experiences. This way I never have to hear anything they say and don't even care if I group with them because it won't matter

... unless they were that bad, but so far so good.

Leaving a grp only adds to the grp frustrations of having to wait a little longer - imagine if that person was the last member of your raid thats been waiting for 30mins to get going, then you leave cos its someone you dislike in game (yes it happens i know) and it so happens your the cleric that they have taken a while to recrit but now they gotta wait on some more.

Have to remember this is a game others play for fun too. While I wouldn't like to be the leader in that situation, I also wouldn't want to have someone stay when they just plain aren't enjoying themselves or extremely irritated/frustrated.

But there are some who'd agree with you - and rush 20 completions on whatever raids talking about how much they hate the game & people lol. You know who you are!

[TeldinTabath]

My "friends" list is for friends.

Why not squelch the people who you dislike that much instead?

Otherwise they'll continue to annoy you every time they log in & remiind you of bad experiences. This way I never have to hear anything they say and don't even care if I group with them because it won't matter

...

Sorry, I guess I should have been a little more explicit. The list of friends I have on my social panel are people that I would group with all the time, if I could. The "friends" list I was referring to was the list of people I have squelched. But, as far as I know, there is no way to look at that list. So I keep a little txt file with their names and the reasons why. In case people were curious, both of them made the list after grouping with them on more than one occasion, because I try not judge someone by one experience.

But, for both of these players, its not only a personality ("squelch") issue, but also their actions. Of course, their personality is the number one reason for being on that list, but squelch will not prevent someone from having a negative impact on the group, either through their play or by being so abusive other party members quit in the middle of a quest.

Is it poor form to tell the leader the reason why I won't party with the member he just added? Like, specific actions that I feel were inexcusable. Or am I better off saying something along the lines of: "I don't feel like partying with "XYZ" because the thought of contributing positively to their gaming makes me want to vomit."

[Bloodstealer]

Sorry, I guess I should have been a little more explicit. The list of friends I have on my social panel are people that I would group with all the time, if I could. The "friends" list I was referring to was the list of people I have squelched. But, as far as I know, there is no way to look at that list. So I keep a little txt file with their names and the reasons why. In case people were curious, both of them made the list after grouping with them on more than one occasion, because I try not judge someone by one experience.

But, for both of these players, its not only a personality ("squelch") issue, but also their actions. Of course, their personality is the number one reason for being on that list, but squelch will not prevent someone from having a negative impact on the group, either through their play or by being so abusive other party members quit in the middle of a quest.

Is it poor form to tell the leader the reason why I won't party with the member he just added? Like, specific actions that I feel were inexcusable. Or am I better off saying something along the lines of: "I don't feel like partying with "XYZ" because the thought of contributing positively to their gaming makes me want to vomit."

Ahh I misunderstood - it sounded like you were adding players you disliked into your friends list, which actually isnt a bad idea as it gives you a visual indicator. However I try not to let others in grp spoil my fun too much - if they r squelched then they cant bother me, except like as you say unless their actions in quest/raid are beyond the norm.
In which case yes I wud at least let the leader know whats up and yes there is no need to go into detail .

I get the impression you are a fairly level headed person who seeks to take a sensible, rather than childish appraoch to this issue which I respect. Hopefully you wont come across too many of these types of players which take away the enjoyment of the game from you. But on the flip side I guess its is something we can all expect from time to time in PUG grps especially and we all have our own way of handling it each time it rears itself.

If your not already, look to get into a guild which takes player attitudes and personalites into consideraton, this could help you enjoy the game much more in the long term, in the mean time keep dodging the bad eggs.

[yodino]

Perhaps I can shed some light on why the guy made the list.

He left the shroud after part 4 was done knowing full well that the group had several people who needed to finish.

IMHO, simply squelching someone isn't enough when that person can adversely affect your own gameplay in a quest/raid.

[TeldinTabath]

Perhaps I can shed some light on why the guy made the list.

He left the shroud after part 4 was done knowing full well that the group had several people who needed to finish.

IMHO, simply squelching someone isn't enough when that person can adversely affect your own gameplay in a quest/raid.

I've had issues with him before that incident, and yeah, that was the last straw. Also, during that same run, the same player:

-Was not really following the group in Part 1. Whatever, it happens, but I felt I should mention it.
-Pouted in a corner during Part 2 after not being assigned a red-name to tank. Seriously, I asked him to help out and he said that since he wasn't assigned anything, he wasn't going to do anything.
-Part 3, whatever. Some people don't bother running back water, and since I can self heal I often run several back.
-Part 4, he's a melee, performed fine, hacking away. But, once he looted, he just recalled and left. Then, when asked where he was, he said he left because he didn't want to complete. When told that it was rude to other party member, he couldn't care less and said so. Was promptly booted.

In addition to all of this, this guy was a TR with a green steel axe that was at least Tier2. So, this isn't a new player who didn't understand the usual procedure. This is someone who has done the grind before, and thumbed his nose at the entire raid party that helped him.

We did manage to complete without him, but I had to put a second person on my list. And, considering he didn't finish, I will most likely encounter him in another Shroud run. From everyone's suggestion, I think I will tell the leader my issues and why I don't feel like helping this person craft his next item.

****, I didn't want this to be a rant thread, but it ended up that way. I apologize for the drama.

[Bloodstealer]

I've had issues with him before that incident, and yeah, that was the last straw. Also, during that same run, the same player:

-Was not really following the group in Part 1. Whatever, it happens, but I felt I should mention it.
-Pouted in a corner during Part 2 after not being assigned a red-name to tank. Seriously, I asked him to help out and he said that since he wasn't assigned anything, he wasn't going to do anything.
-Part 3, whatever. Some people don't bother running back water, and since I can self heal I often run several back.
-Part 4, he's a melee, performed fine, hacking away. But, once he looted, he just recalled and left. Then, when asked where he was, he said he left because he didn't want to complete. When told that it was rude to other party member, he couldn't care less and said so. Was promptly booted.

In addition to all of this, this guy was a TR with a green steel axe that was at least Tier2. So, this isn't a new player who didn't understand the usual procedure. This is someone who has done the grind before, and thumbed his nose at the entire raid party that helped him.

We did manage to complete without him, but I had to put a second person on my list. And, considering he didn't finish, I will most likely encounter him in another Shroud run. From everyone's suggestion, I think I will tell the leader my issues and why I don't feel like helping this person craft his next item.

****, I didn't want this to be a rant thread, but it ended up that way. I apologize for the drama.

+1 rep for trying to stay cool with this idiot -

OK -I see now that not only do you come across as a level headed person but also someone with one heck of a lot of patience - that kind of idiot would of tested mine much sooner, but luckily you managed to salavage the raid without the numpty - PM the players name so I can have the pleasure of declinning his requests going forward, if you would.

[Nathlin]

Hey Teldin, i would like to know who that chap was aswell.

[porq]

I've had issues with him before that incident, and yeah, that was the last straw. Also, during that same run, the same player:

-Was not really following the group in Part 1. Whatever, it happens, but I felt I should mention it.
-Pouted in a corner during Part 2 after not being assigned a red-name to tank. Seriously, I asked him to help out and he said that since he wasn't assigned anything, he wasn't going to do anything.
-Part 3, whatever. Some people don't bother running back water, and since I can self heal I often run several back.
-Part 4, he's a melee, performed fine, hacking away. But, once he looted, he just recalled and left. Then, when asked where he was, he said he left because he didn't want to complete. When told that it was rude to other party member, he couldn't care less and said so. Was promptly booted.

In addition to all of this, this guy was a TR with a green steel axe that was at least Tier2. So, this isn't a new player who didn't understand the usual procedure. This is someone who has done the grind before, and thumbed his nose at the entire raid party that helped him.

We did manage to complete without him, but I had to put a second person on my list. And, considering he didn't finish, I will most likely encounter him in another Shroud run. From everyone's suggestion, I think I will tell the leader my issues and why I don't feel like helping this person craft his next item.

****, I didn't want this to be a rant thread, but it ended up that way. I apologize for the drama.

It sucks that rude and inconsiderate people like this can still get in raid groups and do this. I wonder how fast word will get around about it though, considering he ****ed off your whole raid group(and likely others if he felt this is acceptable team behavior) I wouldn't mind a PM with the name of this fella, if you would be so kind.


As for the drama, it's really not such a bad thing. Explaining the circumstance that made you squelch him can only expedite his name being added to more "friends" lists. Nobody wants to party with griefers. You're at least giving the folks who don't judge without first-hand experience a heads up about what this griefer has inflicted on other groups in the past.
The more you know *TM

[JohnRove]

If you could PM me the name as well, I will be sure to let guildies know who never make it over to these forums

[Crann]

Sounds very familiar, PM please, would like to see if both of our "2 man lists" share a person.

[weewoo0]

i'd like to know who this person is as well as when i get pug shrouds up n running again (may be a little while) i'm fairly sure i don't want this person. PM please!