Things a Medic hears

[Tymoriel_Ayreweaver]

You successfully made me cringe and cross my legs.

Told you. How do you think I felt having to remove it?

[Schmoe]

Oh, I forgot to mention about that guy. Yeah, cowboy hat, spurs, chaps, and loaded .45 pistol on his hip. Very creepy.

What state were you in?

[taurean430]

What state were you in?

Arizona (Go figure) :P

Strangest part was the place where we were is considered Metro Phoenix. Not many horses or ranches around if you know what I mean. But yeah, there are some laws now on the books thanks to bad behavior that disallow one to go near a health care facility with your armaments. It's not unusual however for me to have to 'lock up for safekeeping' someone's firearm.

[Eladiun]

Told you. How do you think I felt having to remove it?

That one made me throw up in my mouth a little...

[Missing_Minds]

You don't understand, we need to share.

It is your form of therapy for all the.... messed up stuff that happens with your profession.

By all means, keep them coming.

That one made me throw up in my mouth a little...

Weakling. I want to know what tool they used to remove the offenders. The more I know about all the little torcher devices, I mean tools, on that metal tray they have, the less fearful I'll be.

[Yazston_the_Invoker]

Weakling. I want to know what tool they used to remove the offenders. The more I know about all the little torcher devices, I mean tools, on that metal tray they have, the less fearful I'll be.

Heh...I was figuring they either squeezed them out like toothpaste out of a tube, or they peeled it like a banana. Oddly enough, neither method made me cringe as much as the original medical problem that made them necessary. I can't think of how you could use a tool to extract them...there can't possibly be enough space left in there to get a tool around the batteries, can there??? And they gots to be slippery...ever try to remove a AA battery from a device when it's stuck good in there...you just can't unless you hit it REEEEEEAL hard, or get something wrapped around it and yank!


LOL...I just love tryin to type this up while at work...just sooooo wierd...

[Missing_Minds]

get something wrapped around it and yank!

*just.... grins* at work, huh?

[LordRavnos]

These are the reasons I loved my time working with the NYPD. The stories you hear are well worth the mental scarring if any. Keep em coming

[biggin]

Heh...I was figuring they either squeezed them out like toothpaste out of a tube, or they peeled it like a banana. Oddly enough, neither method made me cringe as much as the original medical problem that made them necessary. I can't think of how you could use a tool to extract them...there can't possibly be enough space left in there to get a tool around the batteries, can there??? And they gots to be slippery...ever try to remove a AA battery from a device when it's stuck good in there...you just can't unless you hit it REEEEEEAL hard, or get something wrapped around it and yank!


LOL...I just love tryin to type this up while at work...just sooooo wierd...

Hahahahaha. I just thought about how when batteries get stuck and you take the back off the remote and slam it in your hand a few times to jar them loose.

[Eladiun]

Weakling. I want to know what tool they used to remove the offenders. The more I know about all the little torcher devices, I mean tools, on that metal tray they have, the less fearful I'll be.

Yes... I've been know to get woozy at the sight of other people blood. Oddly enough I'm fine with my own...

[Elspethalta]

I work in a small town clinic that often doubles as an ER because pt refuse to go to the hospital because the co-pay is cheaper at the clinic. Often we just deal with people and when we can call the ambulance and make them come in and take them away. My favorite story is this:
One day a 70ish old gentalman comes in (without an appointment of course) complaining of abdominal pain and constipation. Clinic RN brings him back to the room to triage and get some history. Pt has been constipated for 7 days with no sucsess at...... doing the deed and is now in a lot of pain. He has in the last 24 hours drank 48 ounces of prune juice, taken 4 laxitives, drank miralax (stuff you use to clean you out of a colonoscopy), and done 2 enemas at home. She tells hime that the best place for him is most likely the hospital at this point because we do not have much we can do for him at the clinic. He insists he just needs to see a MD. She tells him to sit tight and she will go talk to one of the providers. She leaves the room and waits to talk to a doc. About 5 mins later we all hear this explosion sound and a scream and all go running. (this is the part that you non medical people might want to stop reading at) About 5 feet from the door there is an over powering smell of BM. We all hit the door running, open the door, open the bathroom and just stopped..... BM EVERY WHERE!!! Up the walls about 4 feet, all over the floor, and the toilet is over flowing... In the middle is this poor man, he looks up at us and says... "I'd like to go to the hospital now." After he was gone we all couldn't stop laughing it was just so absurd.
Post script We made the new girl clean the room up, she quit a week later.
Man burst, BURST his colon.... Never heard of it before or after.

[phalaeo]

Very interesting stories, one and all. Keep going if you wish- you can't gross me out if you try.

I'm not in the medical profession, but we get quite a few numbskull moments f out own in Horticulture. At my last job as a curator of a Botanical Gardens, I was required to go up and answer visitor questions about their plants. Can't tell you how many people would start to tell me that they can't seem to keep XYZ plant alive-- upon being asked how often they were watering it, the response inevitably is a blank stare followed by "Oh, I need to WATER it????"

/facepalm.

[AyumiAmakusa]

There are a couple of shows on Discovery Health or TLC (one of those) that present stories like these. I watch them every now and again. Untold Stories of the ER? I think thats one.


You like stories? This will make my fellow men cross their legs.

About 2 years ago this 23 year old man walked in around 2am. He was clearly in some discomfort due to prolonged urinary retention. In my examination I found that he was very rigid despite clearly not being aroused. I immediatly figured this douch wad inserted something into his urethra. Yep, 2 AAA Batteries. So not kidding.

Why in the world would people do that?

[gott_ist_tot]

I can remember my friend's first day 'in the field'. He had some serious second thoughts as he was carrying a severed foot someone just forgot to bring to ambulance together with the patient.

Anyway, he decided to keep the job, and hardened a lot through the years.

I think my facorite story is when they were called to a place of an accident - a man got hit by a tram. Turned out he died on spot. When police were called they arrived on the scene a bit angry as their shift was coming to an end, and it looked like way too much of a work. Accidentaly the tram tracks denoted a border between 2 police stations' jurisdiction. So, they took the corpse, and (witnessed by the ambulance team) hauled it over to the other side of the tracks...

[Wrendd]

A few small snippets while I wake up, I will try to remember another long one later.

A doctor was having all the medics in the ER come over to an x-ray viewer and showing us the most absurd x-ray he had ever seen... a person had *inserted* and entire Pert Shampoo bottle, plain as day on the x-ray. Chief complaint was low grade lower back pain from an MVC... so the insertion was not even bothering him.. apparently he had forgotten about it.

A pt had a cockroach enter and become stuck in her ear, so in the time honored fashion of treating yourself she drank a lot of beer, then decided to drown the offending critter inthe same beer by pouring it in her ear. This upset her boyfriend who promptly assaulted her.

There is very famous homeless person in charlotte who is very rude to, well, just about everyone, especially medics who have to take him to the hospital. He falls often and passes out on the side of the road prompting a good samaritan to call 911. we when get to him and wake him up to see what is wrong he gets agitated, but we can not just leave him there (no matter how much we want to). He has earned the name "Drunken Master Whoo-flung-poo" from his habit of not removing his pants for a BM and then reaching into his pants and throwing it at us when we disturb him. I am so glad I no longer have to deal with him.

Another famous alcoholic was always the most pleasant and considerate person when he was wasted, I mean he was just fun (silly but fun) and was always understanding about why we had to take him to the hospital. Partly because he was so well known at the hospital everyone there would come by to talk to him.. Finally Social Services forced him into a nursing home (he was over 75) to clean him up and get him the help he needed. That was when we found out that when he was sober he was a real jerk, really really rude and nasty. He was in the facility for almost a month before he died. the common thought was that he had pickled himself with all the alcohol and once the perservative was removed.....

[Wrendd]

Was going to write up another story today, but my mind is mostly frazzled... I think it is the heat. Anyway, I will leave it up to some of the other medical types till tomorrow and I will try to get something on here then. Even if I am the only one who reads it, it gives me something to do

[ganondalf]

I have a friend who is a med student currently. I asked him what the strangest thing he's seen so far was.

What he told me was pretty....out there. A man with a suction fetish got a bit too intimate with a vacuum cleaner and had his jacket stolen by the fan blades.

[Yazston_the_Invoker]

I was thoroughly enjoying this thread and am hoping that the OP has more interesting stories to add. (or others)

I'd try some, but Computer techs don't get stories as interesting as these...

[Missing_Minds]

Yes... I've been know to get woozy at the sight of other people blood. Oddly enough I'm fine with my own...

*nods* I may tease you about tools, but I'm not about to tease you about the sight of fluids and what have you. I may not get why you have that... affliction (I don't know what better to call it) but I also don't see it as a joking matter either.

And keep the posts coming all.

[Wrendd]

When I was first getting started in EMS I worked with a partner who was fine with other people's blood (and all other fluids and chunks) but the sight of her own blood would make her pass out. Was kinda funny.

I also know several medics that we call "sympathetic pukers" meaning that when a patient blows chunks, so do they. it can be messy working with them because emesis (vomit) is not an uncommon thing in the back of an ambulance.

(Beware, the following is kinda nasty, read at your own risk) (Nothing obscene or offensive, just gross to many)

Personally, I have only thrown up once in my 13 year career (on the job that is). We had an elderly female (like 80-90) from a local SNF (Skilled Nursing Facility, ie. a nursing home) the pt had a VERY swolled abdomen which was firm to the touch. The RN at the facility stated that the pt had not had a bowel movement in several days and they thought she might have a blockage that needed treatment. The pt was non-verbal with advanced dementia, so we could not get any information from her. Her vitals were fine and she appeared in no acute distress, so we loaded her up and began transport to the ER. We were on the interstate when the pt "burped" at least that is what it sounded like, then about 100cc of emesis came out of her mouth. but the emesis was actually "bowel contents" that had been blocked for so long and built up to the point that the came out up top. I choked out to my partner "LIGHT IT UP" and attempted to do something for the pt. I failed for a bit. I actually opened the 2 rear doors of the ambulance to get fresh air in, and promptly vomited all over the car behind us. I feel bad about it, but the look on that guys face (the care behind us) was absolutely PRICELESS. I am surprised that I did not cause a major wreck. I then treated the pt as best I could and we got her to the hospital. Then we took the ambulance back to HQ and tried to clean it. Then we just got a different ambulance and went back to work.

The only thing that gets me queasy anymore are hand injuries. Just something about them makes we "weak in the knees". I can deal with severed limbs, multiple gunshot wounds, stabbings and all that stuff, but 1 nail through someones hand and I wimp out. Just about every medic I know has something like that, some it is feet, some their own blood, for me it is hands.