Things a Medic hears

[Wrendd]

I am a little bored here at work today, so I thought I would pass the time by relating a couple things that I have heard while working as a medic.

Let me first give a little background. I have been a paramedic for about 13 years, I was trained in Daytona Beach FL, worked for 10 years in Charlotte NC at MEDIC, and then worked for almost 3 years in Pinellas County FL (Sunstar). Both Charlotte and Pinellas County (which includes St. Petersburg and Clearwater, among others) are very busy systems with a wide range of patients.

Recently I accepted a job as a private contract paramedic and am currently in Tikrit, Iraq at COB Speicher. I now do mainly occupational injuries and illnesses, which is a far cry from being a street medic in a major urban center. The temperature here is only 117 today (44ish centigrade) which is actually not as bad as it has been. It has hit 140 here, which is pretty extreme.

Today at the clinic a person had the complaint of (and I am NOT making this **** up): "I almost got bit by a mouse" It was all I could do to not burst out laughing. Several loud "guffaws" were heard from one of the other rooms here, but no one will fess up to it. I am still unsure of what medical treatment he thought he needed for "almost" being bitten by a mouse. I would have expected the average person who accepts a job in IRAQ of all places to be prepared to deal with a little hardship, but apparently I was mistaken.

Many years ago I was working the night shift in Charlotte. at around 0300 (3am for you non-military time keeping folks) we were called out for a general illness. Normally we refer to these types of calls as "Basic Service" or BS (yes, that kind of BS). We found a 35 year old male in bed with the the chief complaint of (and I quote): "Every time I lay down to go to sleep I feel like I am lapsing into unconsciousness". This tool actually insisted on being transported to the hospital, and medics n most areas are not allowed to refuse transport to anyone that requests it, for any reason. We tried to explain to him that sleep was natural, and something GOOD. I think my exact words were along the lines of "You are 35 years old... PLEASE tell me you have gone to sleep before NOW!" When we got to the hospital and gave the RN the report she just looked at me like I was crazy, to which I replied "I could not make this **** up if I tried".

Another one... again, aout 0300. Called for a pregnency emergency. Most Pregnency emergencies are Basic Service calls (I think you are catching on now), and this one was better than most. we found a woman standing at the corner of the road, she was obviously preggo and had 2 suitcases and a bag with her.. We pulled up and asked why she called. She responded "I need to get downtown and taxi cabs don't take medicare" "hmmmm....ummmm...uhhhh..ok m'am, just step up into the ambulance". She gave us name of Betty SMith or some such, an address that did not exist and requested transport to the downtown hosptal (Carolinas Medical Center). I am 99.999% positive that everything she told us about herself was a lie. When we got to the hospital she jumped out, walked in the triage doors, by the time we grabbed out computer and followed her in, she was exiting out the front doors and walking to the road, where a car was waiting for her. Those are your tax dollars hard at work.. an ambulance ride starts at around $350 and goes up from there...

If anyone is interested I can go on for hours, so let me know if you want some more

[Eladiun]

Yes please

[biggin]

Absolutely.

[Chris79]

One story I heard once whilst I was at work - apparently this patient below was taken to a hospital that doesn't do obstetrics.

Paramedics bring in a lady 'with abdominal pains' fairly straightforward....

Triage takes the handover...

Abdominal pains in a band across the abdomen......describes as 'tightening'.... every 2 minutes
Also patient states has been getting abdominal swelling for last 8 months
Also not had a period for same amount of time....
But she is not pregnant bcos she says she isn't...

*sigh*

[Tymoriel_Ayreweaver]

I am a little bored here at work today, so I thought I would pass the time by relating a couple things that I have heard while working as a medic.

Let me first give a little background. I have been a paramedic for about 13 years, I was trained in Daytona Beach FL, worked for 10 years in Charlotte NC at MEDIC, and then worked for almost 3 years in Pinellas County FL (Sunstar). Both Charlotte and Pinellas County (which includes St. Petersburg and Clearwater, among others) are very busy systems with a wide range of patients.

Recently I accepted a job as a private contract paramedic and am currently in Tikrit, Iraq at COB Speicher. I now do mainly occupational injuries and illnesses, which is a far cry from being a street medic in a major urban center. The temperature here is only 117 today (44ish centigrade) which is actually not as bad as it has been. It has hit 140 here, which is pretty extreme.

Today at the clinic a person had the complaint of (and I am NOT making this **** up): "I almost got bit by a mouse" It was all I could do to not burst out laughing. Several loud "guffaws" were heard from one of the other rooms here, but no one will fess up to it. I am still unsure of what medical treatment he thought he needed for "almost" being bitten by a mouse. I would have expected the average person who accepts a job in IRAQ of all places to be prepared to deal with a little hardship, but apparently I was mistaken.

Many years ago I was working the night shift in Charlotte. at around 0300 (3am for you non-military time keeping folks) we were called out for a general illness. Normally we refer to these types of calls as "Basic Service" or BS (yes, that kind of BS). We found a 35 year old male in bed with the the chief complaint of (and I quote): "Every time I lay down to go to sleep I feel like I am lapsing into unconsciousness". This tool actually insisted on being transported to the hospital, and medics n most areas are not allowed to refuse transport to anyone that requests it, for any reason. We tried to explain to him that sleep was natural, and something GOOD. I think my exact words were along the lines of "You are 35 years old... PLEASE tell me you have gone to sleep before NOW!" When we got to the hospital and gave the RN the report she just looked at me like I was crazy, to which I replied "I could not make this **** up if I tried".

Another one... again, aout 0300. Called for a pregnency emergency. Most Pregnency emergencies are Basic Service calls (I think you are catching on now), and this one was better than most. we found a woman standing at the corner of the road, she was obviously preggo and had 2 suitcases and a bag with her.. We pulled up and asked why she called. She responded "I need to get downtown and taxi cabs don't take medicare" "hmmmm....ummmm...uhhhh..ok m'am, just step up into the ambulance". She gave us name of Betty SMith or some such, an address that did not exist and requested transport to the downtown hosptal (Carolinas Medical Center). I am 99.999% positive that everything she told us about herself was a lie. When we got to the hospital she jumped out, walked in the triage doors, by the time we grabbed out computer and followed her in, she was exiting out the front doors and walking to the road, where a car was waiting for her. Those are your tax dollars hard at work.. an ambulance ride starts at around $350 and goes up from there...

If anyone is interested I can go on for hours, so let me know if you want some more

All I can say to this is tell me about it. I am an ER doc in Boston and quite familiar with the types of people you describe. I think every Emergency Department in every hospital ought to redo their signs to bold and underline the word "Emergency and Trauma." Someone gets a sniffle on a Sunday, they go to the ER. They get a boo boo on their knee, they come to the ER. I literally had this pathetic woman yell at me because she was not being treated fast enough. Apparently her "back pain" (drug seeker) was far more important than the two teenage boys who decided to shoot each other over god knows what.

I hate having to make people wait who are there for legitimate reasons due to the rediculous behavior of some people. Like you, we do not get to turn people away. We can fast track them but they still get our time.

I do love my job. For every a*hole that wastes our time, there will be someone who desperately needs us. That is why I go to work. I must say though that it is far nicer now that I am no longer a resident.. I am not always given those patients with bizarre items that they, ehem, claim to have "fallen on"

[taurean430]

One of my favorite patients ever was the 19 year old woman who was triaged for 'abdominal pain.'

Since this is a frontline medical discussion, in my time insofar as an ER nurse, this usually translates to the aforementioned 'Basic Service' situation. To all of our amusement, this one was not the case. So, here is this lady complaining of abdominal cramping and accompanied by weight gain and lower extremity swelling which has gotten worse with time. Suffice to say, 0.5 seconds into her exam, the doctor and I look at each other and chuckle. We noticed the same thing at the same time... this lady was crowning.

We try to explain to her that she's been pregnant, and is now delivering a baby. She screams at an ungodly volume that filled the entire ER, "... I'm not pregnant!" Needless to say, we prep her as best we could, (she refused any and all medications yet demanded immediate treatment). Within 5mins, we have her ready for the event and I am standing there facepalming because this lady swears in that same obnoxious/loud/angry voice that she is not pregnant and refuses to push or contract. I start to walk out of the room with the doc to forumlate a game plan when it hits me...

So, I turn to her and say in my most loud and obnoxious tone, " Yes, you are pregnant!" To which she rears up and continues to exclaim that she isn't. This went on for about 10 mins or so while she delivered a healthy baby boy. She wouldn't even look at the child, and swore we were trying to trick her.

In a nutshell, people are crazy. But I'll never forget her red faced visage yelling at me while bringing a really unfortunate kid into the world, lol.

By far though the strangest case I've been part of so far was the cowboy... Now that was some mess right there. I'll continue if the story is interesting.

[Tymoriel_Ayreweaver]

One of my favorite patients ever was the 19 year old woman who was triaged for 'abdominal pain.'

Since this is a frontline medical discussion, in my time insofar as an ER nurse, this usually translates to the aforementioned 'Basic Service' situation. To all of our amusement, this one was not the case. So, here is this lady complaining of abdominal cramping and accompanied by weight gain and lower extremity swelling which has gotten worse with time. Suffice to say, 0.5 seconds into her exam, the doctor and I look at each other and chuckle. We noticed the same thing at the same time... this lady was crowning.

We try to explain to her that she's been pregnant, and is now delivering a baby. She screams at an ungodly volume that filled the entire ER, "... I'm not pregnant!" Needless to say, we prep her as best we could, (she refused any and all medications yet demanded immediate treatment). Within 5mins, we have her ready for the event and I am standing there facepalming because this lady swears in that same obnoxious/loud/angry voice that she is not pregnant and refuses to push or contract. I start to walk out of the room with the doc to forumlate a game plan when it hits me...

So, I turn to her and say in my most loud and obnoxious tone, " Yes, you are pregnant!" To which she rears up and continues to exclaim that she isn't. This went on for about 10 mins or so while she delivered a healthy baby boy. She wouldn't even look at the child, and swore we were trying to trick her.

In a nutshell, people are crazy. But I'll never forget her red faced visage yelling at me while bringing a really unfortunate kid into the world, lol.

By far though the strangest case I've been part of so far was the cowboy... Now that was some mess right there. I'll continue if the story is interesting.

Oh, did he "somehow" choke himself with a lasso? lol

[taurean430]

All I can say to this is tell me about it. I am an ER doc in Boston and quite familiar with the types of people you describe. I think every Emergency Department in every hospital ought to redo their signs to bold and underline the word "Emergency and Trauma." Someone gets a sniffle on a Sunday, they go to the ER. They get a boo boo on their knee, they come to the ER. I literally had this pathetic woman yell at me because she was not being treated fast enough. Apparently her "back pain" (drug seeker) was far more important than the two teenage boys who decided to shoot each other over god knows what.

I hate having to make people wait who are there for legitimate reasons due to the rediculous behavior of some people. Like you, we do not get to turn people away. We can fast track them but they still get our time.

I do love my job. For every a*hole that wastes our time, there will be someone who desperately needs us. That is why I go to work. I must say though that it is far nicer now that I am no longer a resident.. I am not always given those patients with bizarre items that they, ehem, claim to have "fallen on"

Did they 'fall' onto a potato, cucumber, or carrot?

Our personal best was a Helman's Mayonaise Jar (6oz). Not only did I not know they made them in that size, we had an interesting discussion whilst checking out the initial x-rays.

[systemstate]

By far though the strangest case I've been part of so far was the cowboy... Now that was some mess right there. I'll continue if the story is interesting.

Dude. Seriously? You can't finish a post with something like that and just leave us hanging! For god's sake, spill it man!

[taurean430]

Oh, did he "somehow" choke himself with a lasso? lol

Not exactly...

When I was still a tech, I worked in this very slow paced level 2 facility. It was located right next to a rather large and popular retirement community. Needless to say, not much happened that was exciting past priapism (haha viagra) and bumps/scrapes.

One night, while we were bored to tears, (we had one patient who was there basically for no medical reason), a co-worker and I step out into the ambulance bay to have a smoke. Now the door is coded, so there is no way into that area without passing through the main floor or using the touchpad. But here is this guy standing in front of the door at a distance. He says nothing. Needless to say, curiosity got the best of us and we walked up to him to find out why he was there. As we are getting closer, we notice he's swaying back and forth. It was really creepy...

Long story short, we get to him and he's obviously cyanotic. He says, " I think I need some help..." and goes down. We coded him right there. As I later learned, we lost him a couple of days later in the ICU. But no one could figure out how in the heck he got there to begin with. The rest of the time I was employed there, I checked that door twice an hour out of sheer paranoia.

[Wrendd]

My old partner and I actually assigned a name to this call: "The Comedy of errors" so that should let you know up front what this is about.

This turned out to be a lot longer than I was expecting, so be prepared to read a bit, but I think this was one of the most amusing things I have ever seen on a call (I have a warped sense of humor, as most medics do). Also, there are several medical terms in here and I have attempted to clarify as much as I can.


Call was for (I think) a "Heart Problem" at an assisted living facility, 74ish male, pale, cool and diaphoretic (sweaty). Lights and sirens on, running to the call after not getting our food from McDonalds (again). We went to the wrong building at the facility, we went to the skilled nursing side but quickly realized our mistake and went to the right building. Happens occasionally, no big deal. Pt was sitting on the side of his bed and he was about as pale as anyone I have EVER seen, almost as whilte as casper the ghost. He is VERY wet from sweating and it is cool in the room (this is diaphoresis, it is a sign of poor perfusion, or early shock). His Blood Pressure (BP) sucked, but I do not remember what it was. Heart rate was 160. Normal rate shold be 60-100 with 80 the average. 160 is bad, but not quite yet BAD BAD. On the EKG he is in a rhythm of atrial fibrilation, that means that the top 2 chambers of his heart (atria) are quivering like jello and not pumping blood into the lower parts (ventricles). This is a common occurance with the elderly. The problem here is that this pt has no history (Hx) of a-fib and is not currently medicated for it.

Since the top of his heart is not pumping effectively that means the blood in the atria is not flowing well, and when blood sits still it tends to clot... clots in the heart are BAD MOJO. if that clot moves from its relatively safe spot in the atria to somewhere else.. if it lands in another part of his heart it is a heart attack, in the brain it is a stroke and in the lungs in is a pulmonary embolus (PE). all 3 of these can be life threatening.

While we are examining him we notice that his heart rate has converted on its own to NSR (Normal Sinus Rhythm, what it should be). This is good.. but it also means that our possible clot might now be on its way somewhere BAD. My partner looks at me and he points at the side of the EKG where we keep our de-fib pads (the shock paddles you see in the movies, but we now use sticky pads that stay on the pt instead of paddles you have to hold on them). While I am getting them ready my partner is asking this guy what hospital he wants to go to.. the converstaion goes kinda like this.. "WHat hospital do you prefer sir?" "I really don't want to go to the hospital" "I know, I don't like hospitals much either, but sometimes you need to go, and right now you REALLY need to go", "but I don't want to go to a hospital" (at this point we just pick him up and put him on our stretcher, he is going whether he realizes it or not), "you NEED to go", "But I don't WANT to go", but you need to go NOW, not later, NOW", but I don't want to to to the............" insert REALLY REALLY bad heart rhythm here.

The pt went into V-Fib, which is the 2nd worst heart rhythm there is, this is the one you shock (as opposed to movies, you DO NOT shock a flat line). The pads are already on the pt, so I charge the EKG to 150J (we use bi-phasic electricty on our monitors if any other medics are reading this they wll know what I mean). I say "CLEAR".. the fireman on scene with us (there are 5) has a death grip on the stretcher..."CLEAR".. still holding onto the metal...."CLEAR!!!". my partner has to almost pry the rookies hand off the stretcher.. and ZAP. we shock the patient. (prior to the shock, in V-Fib a pt has no pulse and no respirations, that is clinical death, so this guy just died)

In 13 years as a medic this is the one and only time I have seen this, but I swear on my soul it happened.. The pt raised up and in a shaky voice says "W...WHh... What happened?" I looked right at him and said "Your heart stopped... but it's working now". At this point the fire captain (who I thought had been around a while" looks at my partner and says "Is he sick?" .........my partner replies "He was dead 30 seconds ago, you don't get much sicker". so we load this poor guy into the ambulance and have 1 fireman in the back with us in case the defication hits the oscilation, and we have a fireman drive the ambulance to the hospital.

We have now been in route for about 5-7 minutes, we are very busy, but the dude is still talking to us.. the fireman driving says "Uh guys.. I'm lost". My partner turns halfway to him (and you really should have seen the look on his face" and says "you're WHAT?!?" we look out the back window and see the Charlotte skyline getting smaller... the driver went the wrong way on the interstate.

So we get him turned around and we are hauling a$$. We call this "high flow diesel" or a "dielsel bolus". Our pt is currently sporting a heart rate of 24. This is BAD. the rhythm is called idioventricular, which is basicly a dying heart rhythm. the pt is currently CTD (Circling The Drain) but is conscious, alert and talking to us saying he feels fine, his BP is something like 122/60 which is absolutely INSANE considering his rhythm. umm..ok... lets just haul butt and not mess with him.. anything we do might kill him, but put your game face on and be ready.

We arrive at the hospital and take him inside to the critical room and all the craziness begins. MDs and RNs doing a lot of the same stuff we did, asking the same questions and this little old man looking completely normal with a really bad heart rate/rhythm. So we leave the main treatment room and work on our report. We finish up and are walking out the big double doors back to the ambulance. A Cardiologist sticks his head out of the main room and says "HEY! Medic, was this guy really in V-Fib?" Without turning around my partner replies:

"Nah doc, we lit him up just for the hell of it"

[taurean430]

Oh, I forgot to mention about that guy. Yeah, cowboy hat, spurs, chaps, and loaded .45 pistol on his hip. Very creepy.

[Tymoriel_Ayreweaver]

Oh, I forgot to mention about that guy. Yeah, cowboy hat, spurs, chaps, and loaded .45 pistol on his hip. Very creepy.

Nothing like weirdos showing up int he middle of the night.

[Wrendd]

We responded to a multi-vehicle MVC (Motor Vehicle Collision) with ejections and entrapment. That means that at least 1 person was thrown out of the vehicle and another was stuck in a vehicle and would require extrication. That always makes fireman happy to hear, because they get to play with all their toys, like the "jaws of life" and saws-alls. Most fireman are proud to say that nothing in this world is "fireman proof" and that they can tear apart just about anything if allowed to do so.

We get on scene, I think we were the third or fourth ambulance. Lots of wreckage, could not really even decide which car was which or what they actually were before the wreck. We are directed to our pt by scene command. It is a early 20s male. he is on a backboard with c-collar in place (c-collar holds your neck still and along with the backboard is to keep someone with a possible neck or back injury from causing additional damage by moving/being moved). His clothing has been cut away and is underneath him on the backboard. He has a bruise to hi abdomen, which may or may not be bad. As it stands he is still considered a "priority 1" due to a death in the vehicle he was riding in, possible blunt force to his abdomen and because he had to be extricated. But he appears to be fine and his vital signs are good. A cop comes up to us and gives us th pt's wallet, saying "I got this out of his back pocket, make sure you keep it with him". So we do.

We put him in the truck and start heading to the Hospital. We start IVs, examine him from head to toe, EKG and all that jazz... he is fine so far. Quiet but polite and more than a little shaken up. We do not tell him that his friend in the car with him is DOA. That is someone elses job and I do not want to get involved in that. We have an uneventful ride to the hospital and turn over pt care with no incident. Our only concern, which is mirrored by the docs is his stomach, which may turn out to be an issue but was stable for the 10 minutes I was with him.

About 5 hours later, at our end of shift, we are called into the supervisors office. We are asked if we searched the pt before we transported him. I said no, the pt was already exposed and secured to the backboard by fire and our field supervisor, we recieved their verbal report and continued on with a focused exam but did not search his clothing. We were then asked about the pts wallet. I informed our supervisor that the wallet was handed from PD to me and that I then handed the wallet to the pt and he held on to it for the entire ride to the hospital. I was then informed that we were supposed to search his clothing. I told them that I am not a cop (anymore) and that the pt was already exposed and there was no reason for me to search his belongings. Apparently when they got the pt to the operaating room (still on out backboard and with his clothing underneath him) *2* loaded Glock 40's fell out of his pockets. a search of his pants also revealed several baggies of an undisclosed fine white powder.

While I still think that the fireman and the cop should have found the weapons and the baggies, but I learned my lesson well. I always do at least a quick pat down of any patient that gets in my ambulance. I have gotten my a$$ kicked back there before, but I do not get paid enough to get shot.

[Minttunator]

Brilliant stories, thanks for sharing!

[Yskuma]

Liking the stories!

[Eladiun]

My sister is an ER nurse in Providence and insists on telling me the strange objects in strange places stories despite my repeated requests to stop.

[Tymoriel_Ayreweaver]

There are a couple of shows on Discovery Health or TLC (one of those) that present stories like these. I watch them every now and again. Untold Stories of the ER? I think thats one.


You like stories? This will make my fellow men cross their legs.

About 2 years ago this 23 year old man walked in around 2am. He was clearly in some discomfort due to prolonged urinary retention. In my examination I found that he was very rigid despite clearly not being aroused. I immediatly figured this douch wad inserted something into his urethra. Yep, 2 AAA Batteries. So not kidding.

[Tymoriel_Ayreweaver]

My sister is an ER nurse in Providence and insists on telling me the strange objects in strange places stories despite my repeated requests to stop.

You don't understand, we need to share.

[Eladiun]

You don't understand, we need to share.

You successfully made me cringe and cross my legs.