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  1. #61
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    The best thing I ever killed a PC with? Syphilis.

    I also had a PC murdered by a Sweeney Todd-esque butcher once. The other PC's who were investigating the murder spree, and later also the mysterious disappearance of their friend, visited the murderer during their inquiries. As a gift the "jovial" butcher gave them sausages he had made from his "secret recipe". After they found who was the culprit the expressions on their faces was priceless. They kept asking for long time if their friend had been the secret ingredient, but as cruel DMs are wont to do, I never told them.
    Various hedge-wizards and halfwits, please see MyDDO for all your squelching needs
    Lyrandar 2006 - Devourer 2007 - Thelanis 2009 - Ghallanda 2010

  2. #62
    Community Member Maxelcat's Avatar
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    he he he Sausages!

    ok here's another one for ya...

    my world has a additional critical house rule. score a critical, roll another d6 for extra effects, stuns/KOs/armor damage things like that.

    Its just a option I give my players, but I have a rule, If the good guys get to use it so do the bad guys.

    so after a dungeon they characters are doing town stuff, mage is making spells, warriors forging gear, the session was a bookkeeping session (I have one after every chapter of the current plot.)

    Well the some what new to player cast player of the lv14 Paladin who after tithing decides hes bored and wants to go out and continue saving the world.

    Not not having anything planned I just kinda wing something involving goblins and local farms (not creative but whatever)

    So the Paladin tells the other PCs that hes off and "Rides forth to save the farmers"

    He rides up to the farm and talks to the farmers and then just heads off in the direction that the farmers point.

    the "Obvious" trail heads deeper into the thicker woods ...

    Then a pack of goblin thieves bungee jump out of the trees on him (yes bungee jump with springs and ropes so they get a sneak attack and a free retreat)

    and I wasn't expecting anything much, the character is a tank, full plate, shield, armored warhorse

    so I had a bunch of these hit and run things planned.

    so I roll for the first attack and get the 20 and I'm like "woo hoo, I might chip him down a little bit" then the d6 comes up

    *BAM!*

    Knock out!

    Then I Smiled and shrugged and asked him for his character sheet.

    I then deal with the rest of the player cast for a bit then I told them.

    "Around dinner time the Paladins war horse limps back to the Inn your all staying at. It has many, many arrow wounds and looks like it was set on fire... "

    so the rest of the PCs head out to figure out what happened to their companion.

    do you know how much better a goblin raiding party gets when you give them the the adventuring gear of a 14th level paladin?

    (the ranger did eventually find the paladins body buried in a shallow grave. heh)

    (i have a few story's about that specific player actually)
    Quote Originally Posted by Tolero View Post
    Hireling: "Oh god, you're in trouble!" *heal fail* "Oh god, you're still in trouble!!" *heal fail* "Nooooo I will save you!!!" *heal fail* etc. but to the player, it just looked like the hireling was standing there staring off into space. He's not staring...he's thinking...REALLY hard.

  3. #63
    Community Member Postumus's Avatar
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    2nd Edition.


    The party is en route to a village after completing a difficult quest and they run across a band of ogres.

    One of the fighters had a couple of unidentified potions he had obtained during the quest. The situation looked pretty grim so he decided to take a chance and quaffed one of the potions hoping it would prove beneficial.


    Unfortunately, both potions were potions of delusion. I rolled for a random result: polymorph. So I take the ftr out of the room and explain to him that he feels as though he can turn into any type of creature he can think of.

    FTR:"It's gotta be a potion of polymorph! Hell YEAHHHHH! I turn myself into a GOLD DRAGON!!!"


    I tell him to wait outside the room a moment. I go back and explain to the rest of the party that the fighter has drunk one of the potions, 'but you don't see any visible affects.' Then I let the fighter back into the room and commence combat with the ogres.


    The rest of the party suspected something was awry, but they weren't sure what. The fighter was so deliriously happy that at the prospect of being a dragon, that he never thought about why I'd taken him outside the room to explain the effects of the potion.


    Now the party doesn't realize he thinks he's a dragon, and the fighter assumes that I've explained his metamorphosis to the party. So while he's yelling about flying and casting spells (which always seem to fail), all the party sees is the guy running around flapping his arms and making weird gestures with his hands.


    The high point was when the fighter took on the ogre chief and his two bodyguards by himself and completely weaponless.


    FTR: "I fly up to him and use my breath weapon!"


    DM: "OK, you guys (the party) see Fighter go up to the ogre chief and start blowing on him."


    FTR: (eagerly) "Did I kill them?"


    WIZ: (finally catching on) "Oh NO, dude! That was a potion of delusion!"


    FTR: "Whaaaa?"


    DM: "OK, the chief and his bodyguards look confused for a moment. Then they start pounding on you." Rolls dice.

    "Ok, looks like you were hit four times for... 67 damage. You're unconscious and bleeding out. You will die soon unless someone binds your wounds."


    WIZ: "D@MN IT!"


    FTR: "Wait... what happened?"



    The party barely survived the encounter, but the deluded fighter died and so did the thief.


    I felt bad for the player afterward; not because his character died (it happens), but b/c the player was so crestfallen when he realized that this awesome potion of polymorph was bogus, and he'd never really been a gold dragon after all.

  4. #64
    Community Member Maxelcat's Avatar
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    ok, same player as my last story...

    I was also running a fairly silly all Evil(tm) pick up game the plot was pretty straight forward, Evil(tm) is trying to put together the uber relic to take over/destroy the world. the trick was you could only have one of the pieces until it was all together. (setting up for the end brawl for it all at the end when the NPC good guys come in for the final showdown.)

    It was a silly fun game. like the tree sessions where they were trying to get away from a entire Elvin army that was chasing them. (they had snuck into the Elvin high kings castle to get the part he was protecting and managed to burn down most of the tree city getting away)

    so the same player was playing a NE cleric of death and was less annoying with his playing but more with the "Role playing"...


    so the Evil(tm) party is sneaking out of a valley on a goat path with the Elvin Army under them and the NE Cleric of Death is yapping on endless about something and getting under the skin of the Half Giant/Half Minitaeor Fighter/Barb (with huge strength and a INT score that allowed him to speak broken common only)...

    eventually the HUGE Fighter/barb rages out and says the words: "I pick your cleric up"

    everyone looked at me, I'm running the game, and all I said was "Roll the dice guys..."

    there was some good grapple checks, it was kinda close then the Fighter/Barb picked the cleric over his head and threw him off the cliff at the Elvin army.

    granted I decided that the clerics body would be a thrown bolder kinda thing, and when he hit, he did kill a bunch of Elves...

    It was awesome.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tolero View Post
    Hireling: "Oh god, you're in trouble!" *heal fail* "Oh god, you're still in trouble!!" *heal fail* "Nooooo I will save you!!!" *heal fail* etc. but to the player, it just looked like the hireling was standing there staring off into space. He's not staring...he's thinking...REALLY hard.

  5. #65
    Community Member Skirmish's Avatar
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    My favorite was always my rings quest. I made a couple variations of it for different groups/games. Including AD&D, Palladium Fantasy, Rifts, Shadowrun, and GURPS.

    The rings are a set of 8 rings and 2 thumb rings that hold immense power when brought together. (yeah, standard Mandarin deal, probably where I got the idea subconsciously).

    One for each element of Fire, Earth, Air, and Water.
    One for each aspect of Time, Space, Life, and Death.
    Each of the regular rings gives a power related to it's type when first received. As each additional ring is gained. More powers are gained from each individual ring. The sum is greater than it's parts after all.
    Each thumb ring, when concentrated upon, shows a map of the region and either a glowing compass point on the edge if the rings are out of range or a small glowing dot in the general area of where the other rings are if they are in range of the map. (including the other map-ring)

    Characters stumble across one of the thumb rings during the course of their current adventure. Never failed, since it was a powerful item that showed them where other powerful items were, they decided to find out where the dots lead. (The GM gave me an item that says go this way... lets go this way)

    As each ring was recovered they found out about the power/s it granted. If one person had them, he was slowly corrupted while he slept. Often, unconsciously turning into a human sized being of immense power and wreaking havok nearby using the powers bestowed by the rings(Fire, Ice, Rapid Aging, Death by touch, etc) while the party slept. Only to return to normal before they woke. The Corrupter attempting to make sure he isn't discovered to soon.

    If the entire party shares the rings, the power subtly corrupts all those wearing them. Once corrupted enough, each of them physically binds together with the others, as with the single wearer. But, the being is far larger and more powerful than if he had only possessed one of them. (in D&D terms, a will save was made against the corrupting influence) Again, they return to normal before they wake, until it's too late.

    Every party I ran this through failed to realize what was happening until it was too late, save one. They would always share the rings and, upon retrieving the last couple rings, be consumed.

    The only party to realize what was going on was one that let a single character carry the rings. They finally caught on to the fact that much of the destruction they thought they were tracking (in what the players thought was a sub-quest in the campaign) was actually moving with them. Followed by the realization that the ring carrier was tired a lot and not sleeping well, often going off by himself when he couldn't sleep.

    Only one player realized the possibility of it being the party member. She kept watch on him. But, he didn't do anything out of the ordinary when she was watching. (The joys of Time, eh). During the hunt for the last ring, I slipped him a few notes/hints about how he should ditch the party and keep the rings for himself.(the influence of corruption) He was a good player and went with it. He ditched them while they were in a tight spot and found it on his own. Then, he was consumed.

    The best part was that he then went on to destroy the rest of the party one by one as they tried to flee after I let him take over as the Corrupter. They could have lived if they banded together, kept their heads, and formed a plan as he didn't have a full grasp of what he could do yet. But, they panicked when they realized their fellow player was now after them.

  6. #66
    Community Member elraido's Avatar
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    Well, one of the more memorable things my paladin was (not dm'ing)
    My paladin had a vorpal scimitar...the group was scouting out an area. The cleric was with me and a horse. Some monsters appear. The paladin strikes....rolls a one. Auto miss. Roll again for a crit miss. one again. sword goes flying towards the cleric. roll again to see if it hits him. 20. Cuts off his head. A little bit later, the exact same thing happened except it was the horses head getting cut off.
    Officer - Eternal Wrath
    Burne Level 20 Human Paladin
    Sarlona

  7. #67
    Community Member Maxelcat's Avatar
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    ok time for one of my good deaths.

    Not D&D but VtM. (2.5?3.0?)

    I was playing a malkavian with the insanity for pyromania. which the GM decided i didn't suffer from the regular vampy fear of fire. so i had a habit of carrying 6 to 8 Molotov cocktails in my trench coat and giggling while playing with lighters.

    Me and the rest of my Vampy pals were searching for this lost occult tome. we found it in a old house protected by the resident baddys and the fight starts. things get a little out of control and i manage to set the house on fire.

    Everyone bolts for the door and continues the fight outside. I calmly walk threw the burning house, retrieve the tome and slowly walk toward the door with it admiring the beauty of the fire.

    As i do this the GM mentions to me that the "trim of my trench coat has caught fire...", and i dont think about it as he continues with the combat going on outside.

    Combat round ends and the GM looks at me and says,

    "your initiative, what do you do?" and gives me that weird look...

    and i was about to say, "continuing walking threw to the door..." then i looked at him and thought about it...

    *he said something last round i should pay attention to what was it.... hmmmm*

    so i think for a second. and it dawns on me...

    "I BLOW ALL MY WILLPOWER AND THROW THE BOOK TO (X character)"

    "ok roll the dice." (well blowing like 6 will power and rolling my specialized throw (cocktails remember ) the roll is like stupid epic.

    he looks at the roll and says...

    "there is a giant explosion and the house shatters, but as the blast rolls towards you, the book... seemingly unharmed flies out of it and lands gently in (X Characters) perfectly."

    Live by the Molotov, Die by the Molotov.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tolero View Post
    Hireling: "Oh god, you're in trouble!" *heal fail* "Oh god, you're still in trouble!!" *heal fail* "Nooooo I will save you!!!" *heal fail* etc. but to the player, it just looked like the hireling was standing there staring off into space. He's not staring...he's thinking...REALLY hard.

  8. #68
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    the most deaths by shiny objects or buttons with warning signs that say 'don't touch' or 'don't push'

    party wipe by the mages in the party throwing aoe's disregarding that they were at the rear (2 of them) tanks and the rest dead the wizards went down fast.

    locked door, thief failed picking, barbarian decides to charge it, crit, door shatters apart to a shear drop 300 feet down (there was a ladder) barbarian becomes red paste at the bottom.

  9. #69
    Community Member Maxelcat's Avatar
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    *Casts resurect thread*

    so... way way way back in the day... a very good DM was running multiple campains.

    I was playing in his Spelljammer Campain. While in Krynn space we "shot down" one of those dwarven flying rock things just out side of the main world of that sphere...

    (Some Time passes like two years)

    Later on, we roll up new characters for playing the Dragon Lance moduals with our own characters.

    We are getting back together on a hill top looking over the start zone and we see another group of people gather together one hill over both of our groups looking down...

    Then a "Giant Rock" falls from the sky, killing most of original heros of the lance allowing us to take their place...


    and yes, i played the whole dragonlance original book set moduals start to finish. (threw 3 differnt characters) DL1 to DL14... longest campain ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tolero View Post
    Hireling: "Oh god, you're in trouble!" *heal fail* "Oh god, you're still in trouble!!" *heal fail* "Nooooo I will save you!!!" *heal fail* etc. but to the player, it just looked like the hireling was standing there staring off into space. He's not staring...he's thinking...REALLY hard.

  10. #70
    Community Member Vellrad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Xionanx View Post
    A chest full of potions clearly labeled as "Cure Potions" which the party took at face value and placed in a bad with their other potions.. Nothing sucks more then being at deaths door, and reaching for a "Cure Potion" only to come back with bottle full of poison
    That's classic
    Awesome method.
    Quote Originally Posted by Originally Posted by Random Person #2 View Post
    People who exploit bugs in code are cheaters cheaters cheaters. And they are big fat ****yheads too.

  11. #71
    Community Member Thrudh's Avatar
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    Huge fight in a hall of giants... Everyone dies except two guys...

    One of the guys pulls out his wish ring (with 1 wish remaining) and says "I wish everyone was alive again and at full health"

    We all stare at him in horror...

    The DM, after a bit of reflection, decides to make it a local effect and not to bring back every living thing that ever died in the world, but does bring back the entire party along with all the Giants we just killed (even the ones further down the corridor who we had killed one by one, but now came rushing into the hall)

    And of course, used up spells were not replenished by the wish...

    Total party wipe.
    Quote Originally Posted by Teh_Troll View Post
    We are no more d000m'd then we were a week ago. Note - This was posted in 10/2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Eth View Post
    When you stop caring about xp/min this game becomes really fun. Trust me.
    Quote Originally Posted by TedSandyman View Post
    Some people brag about how fast they finished the game. I cant think of a stupider thing to brag about. Or in this game, going from level 1 to level 30 in two days, or however long it takes. I can't even begin to imagine what drives a person to think that is fun. You are ignoring all of the content and options and going for sheer speed. It is like going to a museum and bragging about how fast you made it through. Or bragging about how fast you finished a good steak.

  12. #72
    Community Member Vellrad's Avatar
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    I remember two things:

    1. Team wizard failed save against dominate person. Other characters was at epic levels, he was still 20. He had memorized time stop and couple of meteor swarms and horrid wiltings . I just coudn't resist .

    2. 6th level party finished big battle, and the last opponent is an ordinary kobold from Monster's Manual (CR 1/4) equipped with dagger. Unfortunatelly for party I was rolling a lot of 20s, and they was always missing it. Kobold killed rouge and fighter, and serioulsy injured cleric until wizard had one lucky blow from his crossbow.
    Quote Originally Posted by Originally Posted by Random Person #2 View Post
    People who exploit bugs in code are cheaters cheaters cheaters. And they are big fat ****yheads too.

  13. #73
    Community Member killerzee25's Avatar
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    3.5 edition starter pack, me and my friends were walking through an alchemists house we come across a mirror with a woman's face in it my friend decides to talk to her. She told him how lonely she was and asked him to come in with her... He screams yes goes in and dies.

  14. #74
    Community Member FuzzyDuck81's Avatar
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    had the party fearing a dangerous assassin that was out to get one of the party members on the road.. they popped into an inn, figuring "they'll never try anything in full view, especially if we stay near the stage with that bunch of troubadors"

    one of the troubadors was the assassin under cover, and used a little cantrip (mage hand spell, concealed as an artistic flourish in the performance, no-one in the party succeeded in a spot check) to slip a bit of delayed action poison into a mug as they were being carried to the table by a server that the assassin had bought off. that night as they rested, one party member (iirc was decided by dice roll) had to make a save vs. the poison.. and died
    Last edited by FuzzyDuck81; 12-28-2010 at 05:14 PM.
    I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was, now what's it is weird and scary to me.

  15. #75
    Community Member zrandrews's Avatar
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    I have two:

    The party is traveling through the desert and hear a baby crying. When they investigate they find a band of goblin Worg riders, maybe 50 of them, and decide to attack and save the crying baby. At level 3 they weren't quite up to the task so when they run, the discover that they are not faster then Worgs. When it's down to the rogue and the Wizard, the rogue heroicly tosses the bag of holding to the cowardly wizard who excapes by quaffing a pot of invisibility and slinking away. this later resulted in the wizard requiring all new party members to cut off the pinky of their non dominate hand and keep it in the bag, so they can be rezzed if they are killed.

    The second was a battle with an Aboleth, around level 9. The figher falls to the Aboleths dominate and promply jumps off the bridge they are crossing and starts swiming away. He sinks like a stone (being infull plate) The party then all jumps in after him and slowly drowns because noone invested any points in Swim.

  16. #76
    Community Member GBantaR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MustangMan94 View Post
    Ohh heavens were to begin....

    #5: In a recent adventure I ran I can across a particular stubborn
    player (Cleric). No matter how hard I tried he didn't want anything to
    do with the group. I finally got the bright idea to introduce him to
    his god. After 20 minutes of back and forth I finally convinced him
    that if he helped the party out that I (GOD) would protect him and give
    him my blessing. A few session down the road while the party was
    discussing how to get down a cliff to reach the cave entrance the cleric
    jumps off screaming, "My god will protect me!" Needless to say I let
    him fall to his death.

    #4: In one adventure I had the PC's chasing a wizard who was trying to
    send himself back in time (using some modified house rules). When the
    PC's finally made it to the wizard the spell was activated sending them
    all back in time. To keep a long story short, Fighter meets his past
    self, freaks out thinking it was an illusion created by the Wizard,
    kills himself there by killing him.

    #3: In this on I wasn't DM but it is note worthy none the less. My
    first adventure I play my friend who was DM'ing had been working on this
    quest for a good month. Unknowing to me him and another friend had
    decided not to give the world a name because, "Who's honestly going to
    ask that!" Well I sit down for the first time ever playing and what's
    the first thing I ask. You guessed it , "What's this world called were
    on?" Needless to say there was a bright flash of light, I'm dead, no
    chance of Rez nothing. It was only after that I was told why.

    #2: In one adventure the hidden access tunnel to a keep was in a Grain
    Factory. PC's go in can't see anything until the fighter gets the
    bright idea to light a torch. Gaming session ends in a large explosion
    killing everyone and half the city.

    #1: My personal favorite! In a mid level adventure I had been DM'ing
    for a few months with a good group of friends I introduced a NPC
    hireling that was a friendly Kobold with multiple personality disorder
    (I thought he'd bring some humor to the party and I was WRONG). A few
    sessions after meeting them the players had met his 3 personalities:
    1. a wanna be hero, 2 a coward, and 3 a depressed/suicidal. After
    getting sick of waiting on the kobold because he couldn't move as fast
    as the rest of the group it was decided that the Barbarian would put the
    little guy in his back pack. He cleared out his pack of everything
    except a few "just in cases". One of those items being a couple potions
    of Alchemist Fire. I would re-roll the kobolds personality once per day
    and chances had it he came up depressed 3 days in a row. After warning
    the party about it a few times thinking they would catch on, the Kobold
    decides riding in his little carrying pack that he is going to ignite
    the alchemist fire. After a few failed will saves~! It was priceless
    to see the players face when walking down the path without warning,
    "There's a loud explosion roll reflex saves." All failed except on
    lucky rogue~!

    Oh and good DM can't leave out the Gazebo of Doom~!

    Sorry about the formating and spelling I'm on my phone~!
    +1 - every one of these stories had me lmfao. In particular:


    Quote Originally Posted by MustangMan94 View Post
    A few session down the road while the party was
    discussing how to get down a cliff to reach the cave entrance the cleric
    jumps off screaming, "My god will protect me!" Needless to say I let
    him fall to his death.
    "These fauchards have gone too far!"
    Hi Welcome

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