Group Etiquette?

[Nexx]

How do you handle yourself when joining another person's group? Do you take charge and lead the group yourself or let the group leader run the show? Do you give out orders and shout on your microphone, then call it "constructive criticism"? Or do you stay silent, do your part, then leave?

Just another one of my curious questions I had to ask.






Personally if I feel comfortable enough to lead a group I will. When I put up lfm's for groups that I don't always know, there's always someone who does know it and shows me what to do, but in a NICE way. I learn better when not constantly hounded by some dude who has to have power all the time. All I have to say to those kind of people is... chill the eff out, breathe, and try to have some fun it's not the end of the world!

[Lleren]

I generally follow if someone else is leading the group.

On most of my characters I try to stay in the middle of the pack on lowbie stuff.

Depending on the group description I may end up a room ahead or so at times, Ingredient runs, flagging and similar =D

[Yellfor]

WILL......uhm..... I would say that taking over the group is one thing and yelling into the mic is another.

I have taken over groups before, sometimes with the leaders consent and sometimes without. (If the leader didn't know the quest will/at all.) Such as the other night I joined a quest in progress.. and started to tell others how run the quest after the leader started to do things the HARD way.
At first he didn't like the fact I kept saying "NO! Not that way...Go this way or we will have to fight MANY mobs and one TERRIBLE trap that can't be disarmed”

But afterward he thanked me for leading the party, (BUT I could tell he was still a little P!$$ED about it)



BUT YELLING into the mic is almost NEVER OK.... Unless the LEADER can't get a n00bs attention.

[Rumbaar]

most times I just stay silent, do my part and leave. But if I see the group doing things they shouldn't or needing a little direction I'll offer my input.

[learst]

Most of the times I join groups rather than start an LFM. If I join a group, I follow the star guy or whoever is leading. If I have not done that quest before, I keep quiet and follow directions. Even if I have run it once or twice, I also try to keep quiet and try to see if there is any other ways to run that quest.

What I try not to do though, is to GO AGAINST the LFM. I think it's rude and annoying. I put up an LFM the other day for Shan To Kor ("normal/slow run, p2p, no zerging". And someone joined my group, and started running ahead and killing mobs. He didn't cause DA or anything, but I hate trying to catch up and picking up dead bodies. I told him/her to stop zerging because I want to explore the dungeon. He said "ok" but still continued. So I recalled, drop group, and soloed it. I prefer grouping rather than soloing, but not at the expense of zergers.

[xanvar]

I usually follow the leader. Sometimes I follow from way ahead around several corners, perhaps even on a different level. Usually I find the leader is saying strange things like, stick together and there be traps up there. I just shake my head and wonder why the rest of the group wont listen to him and keep up with me.

[Onesikpup]

I prefer not to join others groups. Being Khyber, most leaders are idiots and dumber than a bucket of hair. In fact cussing loudly in the mic (w/ ptt disabled) is my preferred way of communicating when informing someone that their a **** poor example of humanity and their quest knowledge must have been gleaned from the back of a Cap'n Crunch box. There's no way I can keep my mouth shut and blindly follow. I must zerg ahead while constantly complaining about how gimpy the rest of the party is for not being able to keep up. It ****es me off just thinking about it.


/etiquette lesson


Hi Welcome

[cdemeritt]

WILL......uhm..... I would say that taking over the group is one thing and yelling into the mic is another.

I have taken over groups before, sometimes with the leaders consent and sometimes without. (If the leader didn't know the quest will/at all.) Such as the other night I joined a quest in progress.. and started to tell others how run the quest after the leader started to do things the HARD way.
At first he didn't like the fact I kept saying "NO! Not that way...Go this way or we will have to fight MANY mobs and one TERRIBLE trap that can't be disarmed”

But afterward he thanked me for leading the party, (BUT I could tell he was still a little P!$$ED about it)



BUT YELLING into the mic is almost NEVER OK.... Unless the LEADER can't get a n00bs attention.

Ohh... look at all the pretty colors.....

Ok, on topic.. I do my best to keep my mouth shut and follow the leaders instructions, unless they don't seem very familiar with the quest, or as you said, are doing it the hard way. I usually make it known that I have a plan, and if everyone is ok with it, this is how we should do it... I also ask if people's builds will handle what I'm asking too... sometimes that FvS just isn't cut out to be the healer, or that melee caster doesn't have X,Y,Z spell...


Of couse I do a lot of yelling into the mic when my push to talk button isn't pushed too...

***! are you people F'ng Idiots or what Hey, guys, do you really want to do that? My G**! They really are that dense... We are all going to die..... You do know if we go this way, about 50 mobs don't spawn... Oh no, where's my f'ng teleport clicky... I think I'm going to need it

What I'm yelling in red, what I actually let the party hear in green...

[Spoprockel]

Really depends on the group.

I PUG most of the time, so i got a few scenarios.


If we enter a quest i know well and i notice that everyone is shifting around nervously and nobody wants to take the lead i go ahead, tell them what to look for (traps, strong rares, etc.) and try to do my best to turn it into a good run.


If we got a "bad" zerger in the group (draws all aggro and dies after a little kiting) , i tell him to stop that in a polite and calm way.

If he doesn't i try to finish the quest with the rest of the group and then drop.


If we got someone who obviously knows the quest i just run with them and quietly do my job.

In extremely bad groups i may drop inside the quest, but only been one occasion when i had to do that. Maybe 2, but i just remember 1 now:

Don't recall the quest name, its lvl 11 house K, west of the bank pyramid.
We went in, over the first electrified rails, into the mines, onto the elemental trap mines... went DING a few times, as people didnt get the idea of not running over them again and again.

To get rid of the death penalty we recall, reform, enter again. This time we evaded the mines, get to the first optional: Kill some golems.

We enter, meet the first golem... people kite him into the 2nd and 3rd... after a really ugly fight only me at my rogue and the ranger are left, he wandwipping me, me clubbing the dam golem with a +3 light metalline mace and my glorious 12 str.

We barely made it, but the rest was dead again.

I ask: "you know you need adamantine or metalline weapons to hurt these things?"

"dead silence" - "those things are expensive" - "dont have any, no"

me: "sorry guys, i don't see this happening with the current group" - drop


After that i met the ranger inside the tavern and gave him a cmw wand for the heals.



Most PUGs are a mixture of these, but i generally keep calm and polite, no matter what happens.

[Mithran]

My motto when I have the star is: He who leads least leads best.

Often my lack of communication hurts the raid when there are newer players present. I was clearly spoiled when it was solely the professional DDO players here, but if people don't know what's going on, completion can be difficult. I haven't seized the reins very often and it's usually in response to a verbal outburst by someone. For the most part, my preference is to play my part as a soldier as best I can and hope that everyone else does the same.

[sweez]

I'm currently in a spot where I'm experienced enough to know when someone's doing something wrong, yet not experienced enough to actually tell them "okay just follow my lead" and know it won't lead to disaster. Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

So I usually just stay quiet and work my way to completion. I've noticed that bad apples tend to drop group when things start going badly whether you yell at them or not, so I just save my caps-lock for better days.

What I *seriously* dislike though, are the situations where I was the second to join the group and the leader drops/dc-s. I just pretend not to notice I have the star.

[Eladiun]

I don't pug hardly ever and then only favor runs, Shrouds, Reaver's Fate, and Reaver's Refuge rune runs but in absence of any form of leadership I will usurp it.

[cardmj1]

I follow the party leader unless asked otherwise. It's their party and their responsibility. A few rare times I have offered suggestions but usually in a /tell to the leader. The /tell is eliminate any embarrassment/drama issues.

[MalakRevan]

The only groups I join are raids and I usually let the party leader handle that.

If I am running quests, I setup my own party.

[stainer]

I don't use voice chat a ton because I am usually in the same room as my wife, who is watching TV, so I don't lead groups often. I generally run with people who know whats going on, so I just do my job. If I see something wrong I may say something like "lets wait for the others" or "move the troll further away or this orthon will never die". I may get testy if someone aggravates me, but I have been trying to stop that because it reflects poorly on my guild.

[Lorichie]

If i join someones group, i do so knowing they are in charge. So i keep my mouth shut and let them lead.

If i'm asked for my opinion i'll give it, if not, its not my group. If i wanted to do things my own way, i would have started my own.

If things go south, when it gets to the point when i'm the last one, or near the last one alive, i'll then decide what needs to be done to survive and do it. Once the leader is rezzed, i'll go back to following his/her lead.

I dont bail on a group unless others start bailing and its very obvious that its not going to work. Of course its different each time, but you know when there's hope of getting it done, alone or not, and when there's not.

If the leader just show's no interest in leading at all (like the other day in madstone) and the others in the group start asking for direction and arent given it, i will offer advice by positioning myself. Most folks follow the cleric, or else, so if i know we need to go a certain way, i head that direction and wait. If others dont follow, i go get their stones, head the way i was trying to lead them, and continue on after. This is the absolute extreme version and i think i've done it only a few times, cant remember tho. Usually, i just let everyone die and continue on to a shrine. Then see if we learned anything, but i never take over and i rarely speak. I joined them, if i wanted to lead i would have.

R

[nbennet]

*EDIT* When I'm in someone else's group, I generally do what Rich has said above: keep my mouth shut and do what I am told, ask politely if I need clarification, send a tell if something is obviously unfeasible. If I am going to bail, I try to bail *before* the run starts, if my spidey senses start tingling "bad group". Once we get going, I stay to the end unless others bail, but leave immediately after.


When I am leading a raid, "too-many-chiefs-not-enough-indians" situations irk me. I've put the group together with a plan for success, and I have an idea of how I want things done. I give clear directions and instructions. I take a measure-twice-cut-once approach. In the past six months, I recall only a couple of abject failures, both on Abbott.

Of course I may overlook things, or make the odd mistake. The right way to deal with that is to ask politely for clarification, or make suggestions in tells or guildchat. But if you do not have the star, please do not start giving instructions or telling me or the party what to do when I already have matters in hand.

Ironically, the biggest offenders are established players or people accustomed to leading their own groups. People try to disguise it as giving advice, but really it comes across as being uncomfortable not having control.

[Zorth]

I assume you are a melee.

[Schmoe]

I PUG quite a bit. Generally, I'll let the person with the star do the leading. If things are going south and I have a solution, I'll take over without hesitation. I'm pretty easygoing, though, so I don't really get upset if we wipe or have to try a couple of different approaches before succeeding.

[underpants]

I have made a habit of asking who is going to lead, if nobody else wants to then I try to.