Cleric Blame just got Funny

[Shamurai]

It's always the cleric's fault. Always.

"Hi, I am level 20 Healbot/ Evoker and I agree... I destruct/ implode when I must, cuz I REFUSE to dirty my armor with monster blood... so yeah when ya die, it's my fault, so be nice to me or it's your fault." - Faithrune Justicar

"Wassup, I am a lvl 19 FvS Evoker/ Healbot... I heal when I must (and very well I might add) but mostly I like to destruct and implode things. Boy, am I glad I am not a cleric because for some reason even though I have 800 more SP then Faithy... They don't 'blame me' when they die, even if/ when it was my fault. Hey what's that over there ~pointing over there!" - Daviniti Soul Finder


Hm, my attempt at humor ended in my first Neg Rep post... bummer. I blame the Cleric!

[sainy_matthew]

Amost had a TPK when the barbarian ran into an area with lots of monsters, we lost 3 PC's in a single set of explosions (technically Explosion/Monster Combo) & while i'm trying to keep people alive & raise those who died (while still fighting the monsters), the barbarian runs off to the other side of the room to agro more monsters.

Guess whose fault that was? Yep, thats right, it was that dirty hippy of a clerics fault. Of wait, no thats right the cleric was busy saving everyone when the barbarian was trying to get us all killed. You know you are in truoble when you are only using your healing spells & your only using them on 1 player for 99% of the dungeon. Its a sign you either suck at playing, or have built a really unbalanced character.

[Failedlegend]

battle-clerics versus healbots

Slight correction the debate is actually a 3-way no contest battle:

Battle Cleric Vs. A Offensive Caster Cleric (ie. Heals, BBs, CC, etc.) Vs. a Healbot


Although I prefer to call it:

Waste of Space vs. The only useful Cleric vs. I'd rather have a hireling

[NovaNZ]

Just joined a PUG, did my "Hi I’m your not-so-nice cleric - blah, blah, blah - and finally I don’t heal stupidity tarp damage"

So while waiting for the last player to get into the quest - I decide to do a short recce with armed with Wis and a Spot item.

DING - dead as a floating stone - electricity trap I believe - Obviously spot skill to low for this quest on E!

soooo .... how to make good of this cluster?

I immediately jump on mic and say "Ok all gather here and take a good hard look. This is what you will look like if you rush ahead and don't let the trapper do his job"

Thankfully I had a rez cookie and got myself back into working order in short time.

The finish was something like this ..."I can rez and heal - you guys can't. You've heard the lecture, seen the practical, nuff said eh?

LOL - anyways the funny thing was that for the remainder of the quest(s), when ever someone thought their was trap/danger and let the party know - it was like they were all wearing Boots of Magnetic Hold (they stood still) till the trapper stood them down.

Made healing a breeze - when i wanted to heal or buff the group - I just typed "DANGER!" Then waltzed around at my pleasure giving he heals or gathering them for buffs.

MAGIC!

[erikbozelie]

Slight correction the debate is actually a 3-way no contest battle:

Battle Cleric Vs. A Offensive Caster Cleric (ie. Heals, BBs, CC, etc.) Vs. a Healbot


Although I prefer to call it:

Waste of Space vs. The only useful Cleric vs. I'd rather have a hireling

all 3 builds can be effective and good.
its people who should alter they're point of view on the build.

whether its an waste of space depends on the player.

[Lewendriel]

Just joined a PUG, did my "Hi I’m your not-so-nice cleric - blah, blah, blah - and finally I don’t heal stupidity tarp damage"

So while waiting for the last player to get into the quest - I decide to do a short recce with armed with Wis and a Spot item.

DING - dead as a floating stone - electricity trap I believe - Obviously spot skill to low for this quest on E!

soooo .... how to make good of this cluster?

I immediately jump on mic and say "Ok all gather here and take a good hard look. This is what you will look like if you rush ahead and don't let the trapper do his job"

Thankfully I had a rez cookie and got myself back into working order in short time.

The finish was something like this ..."I can rez and heal - you guys can't. You've heard the lecture, seen the practical, nuff said eh?

LOL - anyways the funny thing was that for the remainder of the quest(s), when ever someone thought their was trap/danger and let the party know - it was like they were all wearing Boots of Magnetic Hold (they stood still) till the trapper stood them down.

Made healing a breeze - when i wanted to heal or buff the group - I just typed "DANGER!" Then waltzed around at my pleasure giving he heals or gathering them for buffs.

MAGIC!

ROFL

I sooo have to remember this one! Epic!

[Habreno]

Just joined a PUG, did my "Hi I’m your not-so-nice cleric - blah, blah, blah - and finally I don’t heal stupidity tarp damage"

So while waiting for the last player to get into the quest - I decide to do a short recce with armed with Wis and a Spot item.

DING - dead as a floating stone - electricity trap I believe - Obviously spot skill to low for this quest on E!

soooo .... how to make good of this cluster?

I immediately jump on mic and say "Ok all gather here and take a good hard look. This is what you will look like if you rush ahead and don't let the trapper do his job"

Thankfully I had a rez cookie and got myself back into working order in short time.

The finish was something like this ..."I can rez and heal - you guys can't. You've heard the lecture, seen the practical, nuff said eh?

LOL - anyways the funny thing was that for the remainder of the quest(s), when ever someone thought their was trap/danger and let the party know - it was like they were all wearing Boots of Magnetic Hold (they stood still) till the trapper stood them down.

Made healing a breeze - when i wanted to heal or buff the group - I just typed "DANGER!" Then waltzed around at my pleasure giving he heals or gathering them for buffs.

MAGIC!

That or the DC was above 20: only Rogues + Find Traps spelled people can detect them.

[hiyatai]

.....gonna say this up front I'm not the best healer by any means but I can keep most of my parties alive if I'm actally there to do it. I've had about 3 wipes total on my main witch has been a 1st life cleric for over 2 years since I'm willing to chug 20 pots if it comes to it to save most groups from a wipe. I chug pots even if they are mostly jerks since they are never all jerks...the most pots I've ever needed was 14 in a single raid tho... can't be bothered to TR... K now on with the story....
I was on my main lvl 25 cleric. there was a lfm up for shroud with no healers looking for a healer so i joined. since i like helping people in need as long as they aren't ... u know.... after joining i said "ill be at the quest in 1 min". (my build is 1fvs 19cleric and a great healer has 40 umd and offers any buff u can buy from a vendor i have a whole bag to carry all my scrolls... i also carry 100+ mana pots in-case things ever go ary). they said "we're in so hurry". so i used 1 of my tp scrolls and tped right to the quest. mind u I skiped on ship buffs to get there faster seeing as it was only listed as hard and i have 33 turns and 3096 mana with 557hp unbuffed. was about to enter just to hear "guys the wall is comeing". paused with the first thought in my head it was a bad group. i asked "where did your other healers go." they told me "they both dropped in last part". thought to my self "wait if they are on that part i can't even get there". then half the party dies almost all at once. and then I have like 3 people yelling at me "COME ON HEALER REZ!!!!!!!" and I replied "oops sorry guys I don't have the time travel spell slotted I'm a bad healer T.T" and then quit I then got 4 people pming me saying i was the "worst healer ever and why did I give up". i told them "they were at a point i couldn't join them in the quest even if i wanted to"..... o and that all happened within roughly 3 mins of me getting accepted to the party....
I don't count this as one of my 3 wipes since i didn't even get to enter the quest and wouldn't be able to save them even if I did since I couldn't get to where they were in the quest due to the way the game/quest actally works.....
P.S.
I heal WF It's my job, I'm willing to rez any one when they die to full hp(it actally saves mana when you do a full rez instead of a raise/heal) if I cant rez you to full cuz of cd/mana ill almost always throw a raise and a then burst you way to keep you up... unless you're a huge jerk and not doing you part then I'll rez you till I'm at 1/4-1/2 mana, I dp any mob that needs it, and i do carry harm for necros if they are about to die and are not able to heal/out heal the mobs.... necros are people too ....even if they smell funny.... yucky dead guys ^.^

[JasonJi72]

.....gonna say this up front I'm not the best healer by any means but I can keep most of my parties alive if I'm actally there to do it. I've had about 3 wipes total on my main witch has been a 1st life cleric for over 2 years since I'm willing to chug 20 pots if it comes to it to save most groups from a wipe. I chug pots even if they are mostly jerks since they are never all jerks...the most pots I've ever needed was 14 in a single raid tho... can't be bothered to TR... K now on with the story....
I was on my main lvl 25 cleric. there was a lfm up for shroud with no healers looking for a healer so i joined. since i like helping people in need as long as they aren't ... u know.... after joining i said "ill be at the quest in 1 min". (my build is 1fvs 19cleric and a great healer has 40 umd and offers any buff u can buy from a vendor i have a whole bag to carry all my scrolls... i also carry 100+ mana pots in-case things ever go ary). they said "we're in so hurry". so i used 1 of my tp scrolls and tped right to the quest. mind u I skiped on ship buffs to get there faster seeing as it was only listed as hard and i have 33 turns and 3096 mana with 557hp unbuffed. was about to enter just to hear "guys the wall is comeing". paused with the first thought in my head it was a bad group. i asked "where did your other healers go." they told me "they both dropped in last part". thought to my self "wait if they are on that part i can't even get there". then half the party dies almost all at once. and then I have like 3 people yelling at me "COME ON HEALER REZ!!!!!!!" and I replied "oops sorry guys I don't have the time travel spell slotted I'm a bad healer T.T" and then quit I then got 4 people pming me saying i was the "worst healer ever and why did I give up". i told them "they were at a point i couldn't join them in the quest even if i wanted to"..... o and that all happened within roughly 3 mins of me getting accepted to the party........P.S. I don't count this as one of my 3 wipes since i didn't even get to enter the quest and wouldn't be able to save them even if I did since I couldn't get to where they were in the quest due to the way the game/quest actally works.....

Interesting story. I have no doubt that you are a great cleric. You did manage to resurrect a 20 month old post.

[giggiddy]

interesting story. I have no doubt that you are a great cleric. You did manage to resurrect a 20 month old post.

hilarious!!

[hiyatai]

Interesting story. I have no doubt that you are a great cleric. You did manage to resurrect a 20 month old post.

thought it would be fun to have more silly cleric storys ...more current ones anyway

[hiyatai]

hilarious!!

Sorry I like reading funny cleric healing stories so I thought I rez this post

[Stoner81]

Just started a Battlecleric build (18 Cleric/2 Fighter) and so far really enjoying it however, I have been mostly soloing so far since none of my guildies have been about when I have been playing him. Overall though looking forward to the experience since I generally party with a fairly static group most of the time and it's always a great laugh!

Stoner81.

[psi0nix]

I'm a pale master (main toon) so I don't run with cleric often, but when I die it's definitely their fault ... :P (even if they are not in the group) hell a solo run I die in simply must be the cleric's fault.

That's DDO 101 isn't it ?