Turbine Launcher crashes when downloading updates

[WhiteNihilist]

I haven't played since before update 5 came out, so I started the Turbine Launcher which updated itself and restarted. It went through the standard checks and began downloading the "update game data" files.When it the first file appears as downloading, the Turbine Launcher crashes. The following is the error:

Description
Faulting Application Path: C:\Program Files (x86)\Turbine\DDO Unlimited\TurbineLauncher.exe

Problem signature
Problem Event Name: APPCRASH
Application Name: TurbineLauncher.exe
Application Version: 1.18.0.0
Application Timestamp: 4be06a45
Fault Module Name: TTEPatchClient.dll
Fault Module Version: 1.8.0.10
Fault Module Timestamp: 4ba7bc95
Exception Code: c0000005
Exception Offset: 00024e76
OS Version: 6.1.7600.2.0.0.256.1
Locale ID: 1033
Additional Information 1: 0a9e
Additional Information 2: 0a9e372d3b4ad19135b953a78882e789
Additional Information 3: 0a9e
Additional Information 4: 0a9e372d3b4ad19135b953a78882e789

Extra information about the problem
Bucket ID: 1925125612


I have verified the crash data is the same every time, and have tried all the regular fixes. Lauching from turbineinvoker.exe and reinstalling etc...

I am running Windows 7 64 bit BTW...
I even tried to run "TurbineRegisterGDF.exe" as an administrator, and it fails to do anything at all but open and promptly close.

[ProximateTen]

I'm having the EXACT same issues with both DDO and LOTRO on Vista32. I've tried absoloutely every remedy I could find: reinstalling .NET1.1 and .NET1.1 SP1, running TurbineInvoker.exe, setting to run as admin, running TurbineRegisterGDF.exe. Nothing is working. It just dies with the exact same error as above. This is my first time installing and I am finding this experiance very frustrating.

Can anyone help at all?!