The Secret Conversation Behind The Nerfs

[KingOfCheese]

KingOfCheese: (dials secret direct access phone number to Turbine that was purchased about a year ago)

Turbine Special Operator: Hello, you've dialed the direct access line. Can you please provide your VIP password?

KingOfCheese: [redacted]

Turbine Special Operator: Thank you, just one second.

Turbine Concierge: Hello Socky, good to hear from you again. What can we do for you?

KingOfCheese: I have several requests for what I'd like to see implemented during the next Mod.

Turbine Concierge: Do tell.

KingOfCheese: First, since I don't have a THF character at cap yet and don't have an epic SOS--I'd like to see this nerfed. I'm feeling like my uber is a little off. Second, I'm not a big fan of the weighted mechanism--I'd like to see this nerfed. Lastly, there are a number of vets that I'm really getting sick of seeing around day-to-day. Could you please make a variety of misc. change that will set them off and get them to quit? And, per usual, make my characters exempt from these changes?

Turbine Concierge: Of course we can do all of that. But we'll need some additional contributions from you.

KingOfCheese: The usual?

Turbine Concierge: Yes, that will be fine.

KingOfCheese: Thank you (hangs up)

KingOfCheese: logs in to www.baconfreak.com and orders one bacon gift bundle to be sent to Turbine staff.

KingOfCheese: (sits back an waits)

[Sleepingcap]

another one?

[BurningDownTheHouse]

I here by dub thee "The GimpaN00B"!!!
You shall remain "The GimpaN00B" to me until you undo what you have wrought!!!

[KingOfCheese]

I here by dub thee "The GimpaN00B"!!!
You shall remain "The GimpaN00B" to me until you undo what you have wrought!!!

It all about $$$$$$$. If you want to reverse my changes, you might consider sending Turbine a bacon-scented candle. But then I'll just one-up you again with an even better gift. It's a war that will only result in a complete nerfilization of DDO and a severe outbreak of cardiovascular disease at Turbine. In the end no one wins. So let's just go with my nerfs and leave it at that.

[SquelchHU]

Normally I approve of your humor. This one was below the belt. Bad form.

[Healsavant]

Gotta admit, that's good stuff.....but then I looked and you have many max tions, and if you've made any epics that are upgraded, ya loosing all those tokens if the wand was waved over them...but I'm sure you slid a lol extra Bacon for that

[Tabun]

Well done +1 rep from me for your form.

KingOfCheese: (dials secret direct access phone number to Turbine that was purchased about a year ago)

Turbine Special Operator: Hello, you've dialed the direct access line. Can you please provide your VIP password?

KingOfCheese: [redacted]

Turbine Special Operator: Thank you, just one second.

Turbine Concierge: Hello Socky, good to hear from you again. What can we do for you?

KingOfCheese: I have several requests for what I'd like to see implemented during the next Mod.
Turbine Concierge: Do tell.

KingOfCheese: First, since I don't have a THF character at cap yet and don't have an epic SOS--I'd like to see this nerfed. I'm feeling like my uber is a little off. Second, I'm not a big fan of the weighted mechanism--I'd like to see this nerfed. Lastly, there are a number of vets that I'm really getting sick of seeing around day-to-day. Could you please make a variety of misc. change that will set them off and get them to quit? And, per usual, make my characters exempt from these changes?

Turbine Concierge: Of course we can do all of that. But we'll need some additional contributions from you.

KingOfCheese: The usual?

Turbine Concierge: Yes, that will be fine.

KingOfCheese: Thank you (hangs up)

KingOfCheese: logs in to www.baconfreak.com and orders one bacon gift bundle to be sent to Turbine staff.

KingOfCheese: (sits back an waits)

[Turial]

Is surprised that one bacon gift bundle got you all of that.

[KingOfCheese]

Is surprised that one bacon gift bundle got you all of that.

They are very susceptible to bacon. I've used cash, cars, jewelry, and other valuables in the past to great expense. Then I found their bacon weakness. They will do amazing things for a just a scrap of the bacon.

[Irinis]

Well, nobody had better tell them that cash can be used to buy bacon, or you'd go poor trying to bribe them again!

Oops, did I just let the whole hog out of the bag?

[Alexandryte]

Well, nobody had better tell them that cash can be used to buy bacon, or you'd go poor trying to bribe them again!

Oops, did I just let the whole hog out of the bag?

Don't worry Ill help with that one...

/cast grease

/cast firewall

YAY!

[Aerniel]

It all about $$$$$$$. If you want to reverse my changes, you might consider sending Turbine a bacon-scented candle. But then I'll just one-up you again with an even better gift. It's a war that will only result in a complete nerfilization of DDO and a severe outbreak of cardiovascular disease at Turbine. In the end no one wins. So let's just go with my nerfs and leave it at that.

I bet you cant beat my bacon blowup doll!