Favorite Dungeon Master Text

[Bobthesponge]

Don't remember which quest but: "You beat them off.....this time"

Madstone: "Almost there.....just a little longer" reminds me of something my wife said once......

just once? ;-)

[Ganolyn]

This isn't DM text, but the best one I've seen so far was when a Kobold yelled "Oww! My Spleen!"

[Horrorscope]

I'm hoping in the underwater quest forthcoming we get.... "We need a bigger boat!".

[sirgog]

Not DM text again, but the Baudry 1 kobolds.

"Me hates big boxes!"

[k0ukla]

The lighthouse: Recovering the lost tome

(Dungeon Master): The librarian cheerfully agrees to show you his collection. He leads you below the tower, then motions you closer to speak.

this always sounds dirty to me for some reason. in a creepy old man kinda way. mebe like the old dude off family guy.

ohh u dont like herbert the pervert? lol

[Bago]

Maybe Jeets will be slightly less greedy .. maybe.

[devaneto]

..... "I'm sorry but this selection is incore-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-ct!"
:-D

[amanda_t]

That one Korthos quest... where you have to talk to the guy against the sahaugin-

"OH NO! THE SAHAUGIN HAVE FOUND ME!" and you click him over and over and he keeps saying it

[omastar444]

I'm shocked no one said my favorite from Delirium:
"You don't like how that kitchen key is looking at you. Maybe you should teach it a lesson!"

[penumbra]

"I'll kill you, KILL YOU ALL!! And then he dies, effectively calling his own bluff." YarYar and the DM from Irestone Inlet.

You know we need a new quest that YarYar comes back as some form of undead just to take revenge for the Inlet.

irestone inlet is one of my favorite quests just for the DM.

[phillymiket]

My favorite unfinished work

"And where there's one trog..."

What, what happens where there's one trog?!?

[FuzzyDuck81]

Shipment:
"You're the fool Devil! Now witness the power of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL Titan!"

"er... where did the mortals get THAT?" (or something to that effect)

i also liked the dreaming dark dialogue when you face the shadow council:

"wait, i recognise this mortal.. is that.. X?"
"the same X that defeated sor'jek.. twice?"
the same X that defeated lailat in her own palace"
etc.
"i must go inform the dream stealer at once" (iirc thats his name? might be wrong, not woken up yet)
"we must go too!" *half of them disappear*

just cracked me up the 1st time i saw it

[tarkin1980]

Delera has ben re-LEASED!!!!!!!!!!!11!111!111!111oneoneeleven

Most of his quotes are hilarious though (near a mangled body there!). May he rest in peace.

Special mention goes to "OH NO! The sahuagin found mehhh!"

[acidtiger]

I forget the name of the Hobgoblin, but he is in Gywlen's, who 'commands his unit to form up.'. That one always makes the bf and I chuckle.

[Isolani]

Not DM text, but I always laugh when I get the Reclamation quest from the druid in Ataraxia, your response to accept the quest "Gems? Gold? Your story moves me druid."

[AnubisPrime]

Mine is: "The strong smell of sewage permeates the air around you."

They actually changed the narrator for that one.

and: "...This is Wind-l-a-s-h-e-r Terrrrri Toreeee!"

I can swear in Tangleroot the narrator said "TangleFOOT" at one point...

[Hendrik]

Monkey Socket.

[calavel]

Reclamation - while walking through a random corridor with no encounter -

"The deadly water spider Deluge SPRINGS - AND ATTACKS!!!"

... no it doesn't.

[Hambo]

There are a lot of gag names and tributes in this game...

"Private Jake" in WaterWorks

The tip that misquotes Bruce Campbell from Army of Darkness:
"Good, Bad, I'm the guy with the +5 repeating crossbow" (or similar)

The Spellsinger in the second room of the second Sharn Syndicate quest, as you kill him:
"Right! I'll do you for that!"

I'm not sure, but I may have seen a "It's only a flesh wound..." somewhere in the mix, but don't quote me on it

[Grond]

No fight, no food!