Don't think I torture with tells at least a dozen anonymous healers/day I have been playing DDO for 6 months now but the fingers of one hand are more than enough to count the times I used the friends list when looking of a healer. But I will have to reconsider my rarely used method seeing the reactions of those that play healers.
Yes because if I join a guild I will have to go anonymous since the healers will spam me with tells, begging to grant them the honor of grouping with me. That's how you make it sound, guildless = fail, guilded = win^win when it comes to finding healers. It will sure improve my chances of finding one, but from there to failing for not being in a guild is a long way.
But sure, I fail, me and many other guildless players. And according to your theory when it comes to finding healers those that are guilded are the opposite of "fail" so they "win". On the other hand according to your theory lots of them "fail" because the majority of the guilded players I grouped with did not bring a guildie healer with them, usually the healer being either guildless or from a different guild. That makes them what, fail-win players? Odd eh.
And since you want to get things straight I'm not the one complaining that I have trouble finding groups, you are mistaking me with the OP.