Here's the problem as I see it: you're trying to do too much. Let's take for example a BC. You need STR, WIS, CON, maybe some DEX if your going TWF, maybe some CHA for radiant servant, etc. You may want to try focusing your efforts on something you can do. Maybe an OCC Cleric? Ranger for a little healing and buffs? Maybe just try a straight max STR/CON FTR or Barb. The game will be frustrating because without good gear and stats pallies and BC's are tough to pull off. Heck, BC's are one of the toughest things in DDO to play well, and you picked it as a first toon.
My advice would be to pick something and focus on it, only to see what you really will like to play. SOmetimes what we think we like doing and what actually translates to the game are 2 different things. I played only clerics for 3 years. I built just about every kind of cleric you could think of. Then a guildie was looking for Heavy Picks, so I started collecting them for him. He decided not to roll the toon up, so I decided why not give a Barb a try? Turns out I love playing a melee toon. If you had asked me before I capped one I would have told you it looked like the most boring toon to play.
Also you may want to try a THF bard. It can cast some, melee some, great buffs, and at the end of it all you have a plat machine. Bards are always welcome additions to any party that know anything about DDO, and they can be so versatile that you can play it any way you want to. As long as you sing a few songs at the beginning of the quest, the rest of the quest time is up to you.
